Confessions Of An Obese Woman

The Sassistas!^TM would like to acknowledge and thank Westsista who dished today's sass.

I'm not much of an art critic, but I am a news junkie. When I saw the story headline, "Overweight Nude Sets Art World Record," I followed the link. I haven't been able to get it out of my head since.

For a long time, I tried to figure out how I felt about it. Was I repulsed by it? Happy that a fellow obese woman was the model for such a highly valued painting? Disturbed by the idea that someone my size is being portrayed as a freak?

It was auctioned for $33.6 million last month, setting the record for the most money ever paid for a painting by a living artist. That artist is 85-year-old Lucien Freud, the grandson of Sigmund Freud.  Remember the painting that set the auction record for any artist? That artist was Francis Bacon, a friend and contemporary of Lucien Freud.

The name of Freud's 1995 painting is "Benefits Supervisor Sleeping." The subject was Sue Tilley, at the time an actual benefits supervisor for the UK government. In every photo I've seen of Tilley, she looks much more attractive than the worn-out woman on the worn-out sofa.

She sounds like someone I'd like to meet. "My life's changed overnight," she says, "I'm beside myself, but then lovely things are always happening to me." She also had this to say about Freud: "I'm not the 'ideal woman' I know I'm not. But who is? And he never made the skinny ones look any better. He picks out every single little detail." It's true. I looked at several of his other paintings, and they have a similar look. Queen Elizabeth sat for him (with her clothes on) as did Kate Moss, so he's not obsessed by civil servants or the fat.

I finally figured out that the painting makes me feel self-conscious. One afternoon I stretched out on my bed naked, in the same pose, with a hand mirror. I couldn't get the whole picture all at once, but I did see enough to make me wince a little. I had no idea I looked like that when lying on my side. If I ever have another lover, remind me not to do that.

If successful art is disturbing, then this has been a masterpiece for me. Several of the articles described the painting as "gloriously fleshy." I'd really like to be able to embrace that perspective.

Comments

[nowayasista]

Did not mean to be insensitive, though in my limited experience it sometimes takes a knock on the noggin to get point across.

Good idea regarding locks and tee shirts. Health insurance should be priced just like your auto and life insurance are. Bigger risk... bigger premium.

Re: Judgement and "who left us in charge" We are in charge. If not us, who? We the people. As humans we judge all sorts of things. Just read most of these posts. Have to say it seems when the judgement is out of the norm of the majority of this here rodeo it is somehow wrong. Yet when the judgement concurs with majority opinion it is somehow o.k. Hmmm...

The day is too nice to spend any more time here. Off to the hills.

[half-a-sista]

I respectfully disagree that we are in charge. The majority of "We the people" don't participate in this participatory democracy. That means that a few are speaking for the many. In life terms, I am not in charge of anyone else's life. I am responsible for my life and how I live it.

I cannot take away your feelings about "this here rodeo" and I apologize if you feel that I have judged you publicly on the blog. That was not my intent.

Thanks for sharing how you feel and I will be especially aware of how I phrase things in the future to avoid as many unnecessary generalizations as possible.

The day here is also too nice to spend more time on the blog. I have native plants to weed. The sun is shining and the temperatures are in the low 80's. Time to get started.

[Westsista]

half-a-sista, thanks for further explaining what I was trying to say with the insurance remarks, etc. You are exactly right!

nowayasista, I always appreciate a point of view different from my own. Thank you for your comments. One point I can assure you of is that fat people do not need a "knock on the noggin." I don't know any overweight person who doesn't get knocked enough (most especially self-knocking) in the daily course of events.

I think it seems okay to treat overweight people as inferior because there's a core belief that all it takes is self-discipline for them to exchange their XXL body for a medium-sized one. I think if that were true we wouldn't see a 97-99% weight re-gain, even among people who have lost enormous amounts of weight. And we wouldn't see overweight people who exercise self-discipline in every conceivable area of life, working overtime, sacrificing for their families, and making a difference in their communities.