To mark Gay Pride Week, the Sassistas!TM would like to acknowledge and thank half-a-sista for dishing today's sass.
When Francis Bellamy finished the Pledge of Allegiance in 1892, he omitted the word, "equality" from the last phrase, "…with liberty and justice for all." He knew that his committee members did not believe in equal rights for women or African Americans.
America has never lived up to the phrase, "with liberty and justice for all." The authors of the Declaration of Independence wrote that all men are created equal, but they meant only white men. The 14th amendment, passed in 1868, prohibited states from denying any person, born in the U.S. or a naturalized citizen, the rights to due process and equal protection under the law.
The 15th amendment, passed in 1870, stated that color, race, or previous [slave] status could not be used to deny a person the right to vote. The civil rights movement in the Sixties bears witness to how effective that amendment was. Women didn't obtain the right to vote until 1920 (the 19th amendment), almost 150 years after the country's independence and 50 years after black men had been given the right.
I believe in liberty and justice for all with NO exceptions. Likewise I believe that my country is probably one of the greatest nations in the world. However, I do not believe we have kept our promises to all of our citizens. The "my country, right or wrong" philosophy of many Americans strikes me as terribly naïve, at best, or mean and hateful, at worst. Speaking before the U.S. Senate in 1872 about imperialism, Senator Carl Schurz (WI) said, "My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; if wrong, to be made right."
I worked for the federal government for almost 32 years, have always paid my taxes and my bills and am a good citizen. For the last 21 years I watched over my mother until she died this past February. I would have been a great Boy Scout, but the Boy Scouts don't want openly gay men as scout members or scout leaders.
Until 2003, when the U.S. Supreme Court found unconstitutional any sodomy law that targeted only people of the same sex, I could have been arrested for having sex with another man, even in the privacy of my own home (Bowers vs. Hardwick) and imprisoned.
Even though I have no desire to marry, gays and lesbians should have that civil right, currently denied to us in 49 states. Only Massachusetts allows same-sex marriage. On June 17, 2008 California may become the second state. In 1996, the U.S. Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act to save the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages.
Because gays and lesbians cannot establish legally recognized relationships, they don't have the same legal protections as spouses. How would you comfort someone who watched her partner's family strip the house of everything because it belonged to their relative and my friend couldn't prove otherwise? What would you have told a friend who nursed his partner of 10 years through his final days (even after he discovered his own positive HIV status) when --- on the day his lover died -- the partner's family gave him 24 hours to vacate the house because the two men had never gotten around to putting the place in both their names?
In 1998, Matthew Shepherd died from the beating received from two young men who initially claimed they murdered him because he made a pass at them. They eventually admitted that they robbed him, beat him severely, tortured him, and tied him to a fence post in the middle of nowhere because he was gay.
Through unusual circumstances, people discovered that Brandon Teena, who lived as a young man, was physiologically female. His secret became known to two men who raped him and told him not to go to the police. When he ignored their threats and reported the incident to the sheriff in the small, Nebraska town where he lived, the two men murdered him and two other people who happened to be in the same house on New Year's Eve 1993.
Gwen Araujo lived as a woman. During a 2002 party, some young men became enraged when they discovered Gwen was physiologically male. They brutally beat her for five hours until she died and then buried her in a shallow grave. For two weeks the police couldn't find anyone who would talk, despite all of the people present at the party when the beating started.
I could write a book on the gay, lesbian, and transgendered people who have died horrible deaths perpetrated by people who did not believe in liberty and justice for all. I could prepare a multi-volume set listing Americans who have been denied their rights. Please bear with me if I don't support the belief that all Americans have the right to liberty and justice. It simply isn't true.
half-a-sista is the kindest male friend I've ever had. We met in a silent writing workshop where we only "spoke" when we read our writing exercises aloud. From the first time he read aloud about caring for his beloved mother, I knew I wanted to know him for the rest of my life. His voice was so brave -- at times sad, at times bitter, at times hilarious, at all times, honest. He is my beloved friend and gay brother and the Sassistas! are proud to publish this post.
All of us know that half-a-sista has posted what is truth for him -- and on some level -- what is truth for all of us. On one hand, we are fortunate to live in a country where we can post our opinion's about America's shortcomings. On the other, we (and for me, this happens mostly in corporate America) have all cringed when we've heard completely slanderous and biased invective tossed into the center of the conference table i.e., "You'll never see me sitting next to a gay man or lesbian," said by the executive sitting next to me, or "You know he's gay, don't you? Don't use his coffee mug," by another. These individuals felt free to say what they did because in some states (like Florida), individuals can be fired from a job for being gay or lesbian. These executives have the right to do that. half-a-sista doesn't have the right to be a Boy Scout.
There's a reason why the Liberty Bell is cracked. This country is broken in a lot of places -- like many of its citizens. But as Hemingway said, we become stronger in the broken places. Listen to half-a-sista. Listen to what he has to say. Listen to the strong, ever stronger voice of America.
Posted by: Flannista | June 11, 2008 at 06:19 AM
Powerful words, half-a-sista, to illuminate a crack in America's liberty and justice. There will be no quick fix, I am sure, but how do you think we should begin as a nation, or as individuals, to make life in America free and just for ALL people?
Posted by: PEACEsista | June 11, 2008 at 10:16 AM
PEACEsista, we could all commit to reading a book a year on the life of someone who is much different than we are. We could listen to people not like us to hear what they are saying about how they feel in this culture. We could recognize our own prejudices against certain kinds of people and work to understand...really understand...why we carry those beliefs. There are so many little things that we could do.
Regardless of our gender, sex, creed, color, relgiion, race, etc we all want to be treated as human beings deserving of respect. We want equal treatment from the institutions that serve us, from the schools that educate us, from the employers who hire us and from the people with whom we live and work.
PEACEsista, I have so much to say but I need to end this post right now. Maybe later I will blog some more.
Posted by: half-a-sista | June 11, 2008 at 12:19 PM
This is one of those posts that has left me at a loss for words. I have been thinking about it ever since I read it early this morning. After I clicked on the link to Brandon Teena, I also googled "Brandon Teena" and spent some time early this morning reading more about Brandon. I will do the same for the other links. The movie "Boys Don't Cry" left me feeling so incredibly sad. I must post a thoughtful response to half-a-sista's post, but I'm still searching for words. God bless you, half-a-sista.
Posted by: Miss Missasista | June 11, 2008 at 01:52 PM
By reading more about Brandon Teena, Miss Missasista is doing precisely what half-a-sista recommends. If we do nothing else, we can click on the links in half-a-sista's post. They are the stories of real people, with friends and family who loved them deeply.
Posted by: Flannista | June 11, 2008 at 02:05 PM
Forgive my late comment, I've been encountering web connection issues all morning...
half-a-sista, thank you again for writing today's post. I believe many feel the same as Miss Missasista, at a loss for words.
A gay friend of mine told me that being gay was like being invisible. People who didn't know that he was gay would share their true prejudices to him about the community.
There's also a belief that there is a significant number of deaf gays and lesbians because they can't hear what others are saying about them.
Posted by: Matissta | June 11, 2008 at 02:13 PM
Miss Missasista, your post touched me deeply. I felt vulnerable when I saw it this morning. I emailed Flannista with my concerns. As always she responded in her loving way and calmed me down. Thanks for caring enough to read the links.
Posted by: half-a-sista | June 11, 2008 at 02:27 PM
Flannista, I meant to say that I felt vulnerable when I saw my piece posted this morning. I did not have that feeling reading Miss Missasista's post which, as I said, moved me.
Posted by: half-a-sista | June 11, 2008 at 02:28 PM
Thanks, half-a-sista, for your thoughtful response to my question. I found your post disturbing in that "Get off your ass and do something!" kind of way, but also at a loss for words to comment, which is why I asked a question.
Thanks for your willingness to be vulnerable. You are a great writer and teacher.
Posted by: PEACEsista | June 11, 2008 at 03:17 PM
Not to worry, half-a-sista -- Miss Missasista knows what you were referring to. All of us seem to be at a loss for words.
Thanks, Matissta for sharing that being gay is like being invisible. Makes my heart ache.
And yes, PEACEsista, half-a-sista is a great writer and teacher.
Posted by: Flannista | June 11, 2008 at 03:29 PM
Thanks for the great post, half-a-sista. Great writing, as always. I'm afraid I've come to expect that from you. Its amazing to have the privilege to read your writing and to have you as a friend.
Its hard for me to imagine discrimination against gays and lesbians - its kind of like anti-semitism for me, I just don't get it. (Not saying that it isn't a real thing, just that its hard for me to comprehend).
One of the wonderful things growing up in my family was learning about prejudice. Yes, my parents believed in separate but equal, that non-whites were just different (in some unseen way), and that races should not inter-marry. But my parent's ACTIONS were having close non-white friends, both as neighbors and church friends. Even close friends who had intermarried. It was such a bizarre contradiction. Their attitude seemed to be "except for OUR friends, of course." That taught me how prejudice is overcome, right? The next step is getting it, that we are all more alike than we are different. (one of the really great things about my family is their good manners, under all circumstances, even when suspicious, fearful or anxious)
In my consasservative days (yes, I was born a Republican) I thought being gay was against God, but even then it was puzzling to me that many of the people I grew up with didn't seem to have much of a choice. It was one of the threads that unravelled those original beliefs.
The transgendered thing is much harder for me to view as normal - although I think its a matter of proximity to someone who had/was having that experience. In theory I sort of get it, but it just seems so foreign to me. I hope it goes without saying I wouldn't discriminate against someone even if I couldn't relate to them.
Posted by: Westsista | June 11, 2008 at 07:33 PM
Thanks always, Westsista, for putting yourself OUT THERE!
I once thought I had difficulties with transgendered folks until one of the nicest sistas I know moved in two doors down from me. She will do anything for anyone who asks, and often attends the same centering prayer group that I attend in our community. One of the loveliest conversassions we ever had was about our respective relationships with God. I honestly never think that she was once a man; in fact, it's difficult to even write that. And can I add that she would be pleased to know that I shared in the sassosphere that she has the best wardrobe and purse collection in the 'hood!
Posted by: Flannista | June 11, 2008 at 07:47 PM
Enlightening conversassion, as always. I will pray for liberty and justsass for ALL.
Posted by: PEACEsista | June 11, 2008 at 10:37 PM
Last evening when I arrived home from work, I immediately went on my computer to reread half-a-sista's post. I hooked in to all of the links and also googled them. I spent a lot of time getting to know each of the three people that half-a-sista highlighted, I found a website - matthewshepherdfoundation.org. You'll find at the top of the homepage the words "Replace hate with understanding, compassion and accceptance." I went to Netflix and ordered "Trained in the Ways of Men" - a documentary about Gwen Araujo. One of the websites I found had T-shirts you can order that simply state on the front "Erase Hate." I got up about 7 times throughout the middle of the night. Each time I got up, I thought about the words I wanted to use to comment on half-a-sista's post. One thing I realized in the middle of the night, that Matthew, Brandon and Gwen were people just like you and me. These were good people who weren't hurting anyone. That is the plain and simple truth. My former co-worker at work used to question me continually about some of the male faculty at the university in which I am employed. She would always ask, and I mean without fail, "Is he a fruit?" My stomach would cringe each and everytime she would ask that. Inside I was screaming and wanting to slap her. This is a co-worker who very proudly displays her "christianity" and her christianity rap sheet (deacon in her church, assists with communion, teaches Sunday School, you name it-she does it.) She recently left my office for another department. Yesterday after reading half-a-sista's post, I decided that I am going to send my former co-worker a letter about her question. Not to pass judgement, but to hopefully make her aware. I am going to include a copy of half-a-sista's post - a colored copy - so she can click on those links which I will encourage her to do. In closing, I still feel like I am at a loss for words, but half-a-sista, I don't know why you chose the name "half-a-sista." You are "wholesista" in my book.
Posted by: Miss Missasista | June 12, 2008 at 07:36 AM
Miss Missasista -- you have honored half-a-sista and all the sistas and mista sistas by sharing what you did last evening. I can envision that crack in the Liberty Bell sealing up just a bit! Thank you and God bless you for gracing us with more liberty and justsass for all!
Posted by: Flannista | June 12, 2008 at 07:42 AM