Last Wednesday, while driving home from a mid-week noon church service, the "CHECK ENGINE" light illuminated on Flannista's car dashboard. This is not the first time. Flann drives a 2001 Subaru Forester, and the first time this happened was five years ago. Since then, it has happened many times since.
According to the owner's manual:
If the CHECK ENGINE light comes on while you are driving, have your vehicle checked/repaired by your SUBARU dealer as soon as possible. Continued vehicle operation without having the emission control system checked and repaired as necessary could cause serious damage, which may not be covered by your vehicle's warranty.
Whatever. The first time this happened, Flann IMMEDIATELY took her car to a SUBARU dealer. There, the "Air/Fuel Ration Sensor" was replaced to the tune of $360. Two weeks later, the CHECK ENGINE light came on again. This time the "fuel gauge" was checked for $116.69 (Flann saves all the receipts). Two weeks after that, the CHECK ENGINE light came on yet another time. This time, Flann replaced the "Fuel Gauge Assembly" for another $350. That was five years ago, July 19, 2004. A couple of weeks after that, her mechanic said, "Don't let our gas tank get real empty. Fill 'er up when it's three-quarters full or else your sensor will read bad."
FLANN: You mean the the sensor I replaced?
MECHANIC: Yeah.
FLANN: So it's not really the engine that's going bad. It's one of the gadjillion sensors connected to the engine?
MECHANIC: Yeah.
FLANN: So the engine's really okay when that light goes on?
MECHANIC: Yeah.
FLANN: But you would admit it's kind of intimidating when you're driving fast and the "CHECK ENGINE" light illuminates.
MECHANIC: Yeah.
FLANN: Should I keep paying about $350 each time the "ENGINE LIGHT" comes on to replace one of the gadjillion sensors?
MECHANIC: Nah.
FLANN: But you will admit it's a bit scary and intimidating?
MECHANIC: Yeah.
FLANN: So, that's it?
MECHANIC: Roll with it.
So sassosphere, "Roll with it" ain't always cuttin' it. What else should Flannista say to herself when the CHECK ENGINE light illuminates?
Over the past five years, my mechanic (an authorized Subaru mechanic) has told me that whenever the ENGINE LIGHT illuminates that it will "self-correct" after the car has been started cold four times and driven for at least 10 minutes without stopping at a minimum of 45 mph.
My ENGINE LIGHT is still on. I've started the car about seven times since last Wednesday, but was the engine cold each time I started it up? Did I drive it 8 minutes and 30 seconds and not the full 10 minutes? Was I driving under 45 mph? It's all nutty.
Don't you wish human beings were this sensitive?
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 05:46 AM
Back to my original question: Rather than "roll with it" what should Flann say to herself when she sees the CHECK ENGINE light illuminated? How about: "Life is short"?
Or, "Things could be worse."
How about this, in addition to what Flann (or anybody) should say to themselves when he or she sees that light, WHAT COULD THE MESSAGE ITSELF BE CODE FOR? It says CHECK ENGINE, yes. But what is my car or the gods and goddesses REALLY telling me?
Please let me know.
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 05:52 AM
CHECK ENGINE = GROW UP
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 05:52 AM
CHECK ENGINE = LISTEN TO YOURSELF. ARE YOU SAYING MEAN THINGS LIKE "GROW UP?" REMEMBER HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE AND HOW LOVED.
Posted by: Westsista | July 13, 2009 at 07:52 AM
Man, West -- wouldn't it be great if every time you turned the ignition, an affirmation would appear on driver's console? Good idea!
How about this?
CHECK ENGINE = YOU HAVE JUST WON $1 MILLION!
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 08:51 AM
CHECK ENGINE = DO NOT DISTURB
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 08:52 AM
CHECK ENGINE = BUY NEW CAR
Posted by: Chrysosistah | July 13, 2009 at 09:08 AM
Hey, I like the affirmations idea! Just little reminders of what we already know.
Sadly Chryso, that's what its always meant for me.
Posted by: Westsista | July 13, 2009 at 09:13 AM
Flannista, I wouldn't have the patience to put up with that stuff - if there's isn't an easier reset (like a button you can push) trade the car in while the dealers are dying to move vehicles...
None of us needs fake crap on top of real crap!
Posted by: Chrysosistah | July 13, 2009 at 09:14 AM
I'm with Chryso ... sell the car. Subaru's are known to be both long-lasting and expensive to maintain. There are a lot of deals out there now in auto land.
CHECK ENGINE = SEND MECHANIC'S KID TO COLLEGE
Posted by: PEACEsista | July 13, 2009 at 10:12 AM
PEACE -- I thought for certain you would have offered a CHECK ENGINE HAIKU.
Chryso -- I actually love my car. Have never had any problems with it except for this pain-in-the-butt glitch. Living with it is kind of like how the Apostle Paul lived with what he called a "thorn in his side." This CHECK ENGINE light is kind of like my car's "thorn."
How about this:
CHECK ENGINE = JESUS SAVES (but can't save this engine)
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 11:02 AM
You'll never believe this sistas and mistas . . . I ran out to the post office and when I started up my car, the CHECK ENGINE light did NOT illuminate.
Does this mean ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD? Or does this mean that A COMPLETE ENGINE BREAKDOWN IS IN MY FUTURE?
What IS my car telling me?
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 12:23 PM
I'll try to keep this brief, but have vast experience with a Check Engine warning that I ignored for a very long time after asking these key questions:
Will I be stranded somewhere because I'm ignoring this?
Is it affecting my gas mileage?
Am I polluting the environment more than those without this light illuminated?
When the answer to all 3 questions was "no" I put it out of my mind. The most bothersome part was telling passengers who sometimes inquired, "Pay no attention to that check engine warning light."
Eventually I did have to replace my transmmission (unrelated to that light) in my Honda van, and decided to replace the EGR port (or some such thing supposedly causing the light) at the same time. It hasn't happened again since, but I'd be really annoyed if it did.
My suggestion is to tape something over the light on your dash, like Check Teeth.
Posted by: babysis | July 13, 2009 at 12:36 PM
Love this sassgestion, babysis: CHECK TEETH. Next time the CHECK ENGINE illuminates, I'm going to post that.
Lots of other things could be checked as well, like CHECK BLOOD PRESSURE (I think the EGR port is also used for open-heart surgery, babysis) or CHECK ACCOUNT BALANCES.
Any other sassgestions out there?
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 12:41 PM
I think the car knew if it didn't straighten up and fly right, it was doomed.
Cars are *things*, intended to efficiently and quietly move you from point A to B - unless you LIKE having thorns, don't bother with annoyances like that. There's too many better alternatives out there...
Posted by: Chrysosistah | July 13, 2009 at 12:53 PM
I was just thinking here - I drive a 2000 Camry, have approx. 140k miles on it, and have spent perhaps $1,000 over the life of the car on service (not including oil & tires, you have that on any car). That seemed like a fair trade to me. If the expenses you listed above are the only ones you've incurred, then I suppose it's OK...(?)
Posted by: Chrysosistah | July 13, 2009 at 12:57 PM
babysis, I gotta hand it to you on being so calm and methodical about the CHECK ENGINE light.
I had a similar problem with my EGR Valve. I owned a Nissan Sentra that at every 30,000 miles or so, the CHECK ENGINE light would go on, because of this sensor. Nothing was wrong with the sensor. I guess Nissan thought it would force people to have their car checked. I did have it checked and reset, but after a while I became numb to it. Even my mechanic got to the point that he wouldn't check out the part anymore; just hit the reset button.
Trying to reassure people that it was OK to drive was a challenge. Mostly because of #1 on your list, "Will I be stranded somewhere because I'm ignoring this?"
I have been in a taxi cab, several times, where the CHECK ENGINE light is illuminated. Now that's scary. I already fear for my life because of the cabbies driving skills. I don't want to spend more time in a cab than I need to.
And Flann, "White teeth or to hell with it!"
Posted by: Matissta | July 13, 2009 at 01:11 PM
My daddy always called those lighted messages 'idiot lights'. Being someone who prefers actual gauges so that I can visibly see what's going on, I tend to agree. Used to, I could pull a few plug wires, check for fire, check the carb for fuel and figure it all out via the elimination method. Now they give your car communication skills so that it can screw around with you. Don't give in to the light. Look away. Text. Make a call.
Posted by: Carolyn | July 13, 2009 at 01:32 PM
I had that light and found out that I wasn't turning the gas cap correctly. Today I am going to pretend the world of engines doesn't exist. I just watched both versions of the movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still." Loved all those scenes of the 1950's cars stopped in the street.
Last week I found out that my freshman roommate, Bonnie Tinker, was killed while she was riding her bicycle in Va. A dump truck turned in front of her and ran her down. She was at a Quaker retreat conference. She had long worked on gay and lesbian family issues in Oregon and was a great person. This is when I doubt there is a personal God. Nothing more to say except that Death sits with us. Too much.
Posted by: frida | July 13, 2009 at 01:34 PM
Here's my check engine light story, Flann.
A few years ago, I jumped in my teal-colored (actually dragon-fly green) 95 Saturn Vue and took off across country. It was a wonderful trip. On the way back, I decided that I wanted to drive at least a few miles on the famous Rt. 66. So somewhere in between the Las Vegas and the Petrified Forest, I got off the interstate and drove Rt. 66. Once a grand stretching from the midwest to the Pacific Ocean, now chopped into slices. Still miles and miles of deserted hotels, rusted gas stations, and dusty watering holes. I pulled into a 50's style drive-in, ordered a 'nila shake to fight the 115-degree heat, and drove on down the road. A half hour or so later, I noticed the light. Yipes. I didn't want to pull over and stop the car, was afraid the engine wouldn't start again. Gas stations were few and far between. What to do? I called the Saturn dealership back in Bowie, Maryland.
"My check engine light is on. Should I be panicking here?"
"Lady, just come on in and I'll take a look-see."
"Well.... that would be kind of hard, cuz I'm in the middle of the Arizona desert, probably 100 miles from the nearest outpost of any kind, and 300 or 400 miles from the nearest big town."
".....(long pause).....look, lady, there's about 369 different reasons that light comes on, and most of the time it's cuz your gas cap isn't on tight enough. Fill your tank up, put the gas cap on real tight, and see if it goes off within a tank or two... that's the best I can do for ya."
So about 500 miles later, the light went off. It's come back on several times since. I don't even pay attention any more. Since I didn't have to thumb a ride on Rt. 66 in the middle of the desert, I figure I'm good to go.
Posted by: treesta | July 13, 2009 at 01:53 PM
Frida, I'm so sorry to hear about your roommate. What a tragedy. So sorry...
Posted by: treesta | July 13, 2009 at 02:04 PM
frida -- it's hard to sass about CHECK ENGINE lights when I read that you lost your freshman roommate in such an awful and freakish way. I know that death has not been a good companion for you this past year, and I'm sorry. I cannot speak for a personal God, but if there is one, She is surely grieving for your beloved Bonnie as well as her family and friends.
And let me make a deal with you. The next time my CHECK ENGINE light illuminates, I'm going to think: THANK BONNIE. And I'll send up a quick prayer of gratitude for the life of your friend and all the lives she touched through her good Quaker work.
frida: Death sits with us too much. So does love and it will always be stronger than death. I love you.
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 03:04 PM
Thank you, treesta, for your comment. Now I don't feel so crazy about my CHECK ENGINE light! You know exactly what I'm sassing about!
Matiss -- good point about being in a cab when that thing is illuminated. How about when that thing is illuminated AND the driver is ON THE PHONE and GOES THROUGH A RED LIGHT? I just want to jump out the door.
I love your advice, Carolyn, about not giving in to the light. My mechanic says that there are so many computers in a car now that if you programmed them a certain way, you could probably go to the moon and back. Then again, the CHECK ENGINE light might come on up there, and Houston will have another problem on its hands.
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 03:10 PM
Liked Carolyn's suggestion, you can read the other gauges so you will know if your car is overheating or the battery is going dead. Ignore the Check Engine light and drive it until it dies (the car, not the engine). You will know from other things that don't work. In the meantime, take a sticky note, write "This Too Shall Pass" and put it over the offending warning light.
Posted by: half-a-sista | July 13, 2009 at 04:24 PM
Actually, half-a-sista, that message is on a sticky note on my toilet.
Posted by: Flannista | July 13, 2009 at 04:27 PM