Confessing Our Confusion

Flannista confesses that she watched the entire memorial tribute to Michael Jackson aired around the world yesterday.  Before you start rolling your eyes, Flann also confesses that she watched specifically so she could dish the sass BIG time today. 

Initially, she wasn't disappointed.  One look at the gleaming, gold casket swept the sass pen into motion.  No wonder everyone was wearing sunglasses. Then the pall-bearing brothers, each wearing one sequined glove on his left hand.  Then the news that both the "405 and 101 freeways were closed" for the funeral procession:  "The first time that's EVER happened," said NBC news anchor, Brian Williams.  Then the revelation that the city of Los Angeles, already $500 million in debt, would have to pony up $3.8 million for the extra police and fire patrols.  The city had set up a special website for donations to cover the cost, "no matter how small."

Man, this memorial tribute was going to be AWFUL.  Flann couldn't wait to witness the overkill.

About 15 minutes into the service, Queen Latifah (pictured above) came to the podium and read a poem Maya Angelou had written for the occasion, entitled, "We Had Him."  Alternately lyrical and sappy, the poem included this phrase, "we confess our confusion."

So do the Sassistas!

How could one memorial tribute move so quickly -- back and forth and back and forth -- between saccharine hyperbole and genuine emotion?  One moment famed Motown founder, Barry Gordy is proclaiming Jackson as, "the greatest entertainer who ever lived."  Another moment we hear a voice over of Jackson himself saying, "I wanted to be a person, not a personality."  Next moment, Jackson's brother, Marlon, declares that his brother's "voice in heaven will be nearest to our Creator."  Then Brooke Shields, a close friend, shares, "Both of us needed to be adults very early, but when we were together, we were little kids.  We never filmed a video together or recorded a song.  What we did do was laugh.  Michael loved to laugh."  She then tearfully recalls that Jackson's favorite song was not one of his own recordings, but "Smile," a tune penned by Charlie Chaplin for the movie, "Modern Times." Then, Jermaine Jackson, an older brother, sang "Smile" from the stage.  Maybe you had to be there, but it was genuinely touching.

When network coverage began, a CBS reporter interviewed a young woman from the Bronx whose family had scrapped together $900 so she could fly to Los Angeles and pay her respects to Jackson and his family.  She had no ticket for the memorial service.  Neither was she close enough to Staples Center to see the service on an outside JumboTron.   When asked what her hope was for the day, she said, "I would die if I saw a limo or a glove."

"A Limo or a Glove" was the original title of this post.  Then we watched the entire service.  Did any of you watch and/or see any portion of it?  Were you confused, too?  Confess.

Comments

[On a Journey Sista]

I planned to watch and did watch the entire service. I did not feel any confusion while watching the service. My confusion surfaced the day Michael Jackson died. I don't know what has made me sadder - Michael Jackson's life or Michael Jackson's death. I found the service to be a dignified memorial to Michael Jackson. I felt inspired to be a better person. In my life, I have been told more than once to "take a good long look in the mirror." However, this was told to me in an effort to see my faults. Michael Jackson's song, "Man in the Mirror" taught me that I can look in the mirror so I can change my ways and make a real contribution. Despite what anyone says about Michael Jackson's life or yesterday's memorial service, the bottom line for me is that he made a contribution - something I hope to leave in my legacy.

[Flannista]

Thank you for your comment, On-A-Journey. First, I'm sorry that you've been told more than once in your life to "Take a good long look in the mirror." It doesn't seem it was always said to you as a loving challenge.

I remain confused about what kind of contribution Jackson really made. I think the media is, too, but covering all-things-Jackson has been making the media a lot of money. Shame on them . . . and for us for demanding every detail of the coroner's report.

I've never witnessed a memorial service where a U.S. representative had to declare that a person is "innocent until proven guilty." There's no denying Jackson's prodigious talent. He was the "King of Pop". But hanging over the proceedings was his strangeness that Al Sharpton, in his typically bombastic and scene-stealing way, declared was not Jackson himself, but "outside Jackson." For all of his talent and generosity, Jackson WAS strange.

Who did Jackson see when he looked in the mirror? A black man or a white woman? That is what is so sad for me. Jackson was as confused as the rest of us.

[On-a-Journey Sista]

Webster's New World Dictionary describes "strange" as follows: not previously known, seen, etc.; unfamiliar; unusual; extraordinary; peculiar; odd. I suppose we're all a bit strange. I hope Michael is in the heavens now where he won't be labeled anything but a child of God.

[Flannista]

Yes, we are all a bit strange, and we are all children of a Creator whose capacity for forgiveness remains, for me, both astonishing and inexplicable.

[On-a-Journey Sista]

Amen.

[nowayasista]

Some of the people at work turned on the "tribute" and I had it turned off. What contribution did Jackson make... to moonwalk? Live excessively? Make excuse after excuse as to why he could not grow up? True he was never convicted of anything and was an obvious target for pot shots due to his oddness. But, why in the world would we honor someone who invites little boys over to his own personal amusement park? He was a creep.

[On-a-Journey Sista]

Webster's New World Dictionary describes "judgmental" as follows: making judgments as to value, etc., often, specif., judgments considered to be lacking in tolerance, objectivity, etc.

[Flannista]

Well, I'll give nowayasista this: at least he is open and direct about making his judgments rather than hiding behind a dictionary definition to make one.

Noway also has the courage to point to something everyone was too polite to mention yesterday: child molestation. Yes, Jackson was never found guilty of the crime, but every time I saw him, I got the same creepy feeling I got when I saw Woody Allen with his wife, Soon-Yi, at the Men's Wimbledon Finals on Sunday.

Jackson has been shown on tape admitting that he allowed young boys (not his children) to sleep overnight in his bed. He said this while one of them was sitting next to him dressed in a miniature version of the Sgt. Pepper uniform Jackson was wearing.

Jackson may not have been a pedophile, but: young boys + dressed exactly like him + spending the night in Jackson's bed = one strange mother.

Trust me. I was raised by one.

[Flannista]

While working out this morning, I listened to "21st Century Breakdown" by Green Day" and found myself hitting the repeat button over and over again for the song, "Restless Heart Syndrome." Thought of Michael Jackson each time. Here is a portion of the lyrics:

I never find a place to hide
You never know what could be
Waiting outside
The accidents you could find
It's like some kind of suicide

So what ails you is what impales you
I feel like i've been crucified to be satisfied

I'm a victim of my symptom
I am my own worst enemy
You're a victim of your symptom
You are your own worst enemy
Know your enemy
*****
Jackson was his own worst enemy.

[On a Journey Sista]

Yes, I did hide behind the definition of "judgmental" to pass judgment on Noway. It is difficult to respond to Noway without finding myself feeling judgmental. When is enough enough? Michael Jackson is dead. Can we now just leave him alone? None of us know the real story about Michael Jackson, and none of us truly know the real story about our mothers. We didn't walk in their shoes and never will. Someday my mother will pass away. There's a real lesson in the words, "Let them rest in peace."

[babysis]

I confess. I did not watch one second of the tribute, the service, or really any news coverage since his death. That translates to not turning on the tv except to let my kids watch Spongebob or monster trucks. I have not clicked on more than one or two scrolling news headlines about MJ on my computer.

I liked some of his music very much, and feel he was a great entertainer. His life though, was confusing and sad. I guess I think the hordes of people so overwhelmed by his death may live confusing and sad lives too. That probably means I'm judgmental, but I'm truly sad to see people seemingly in need of someone to worship, choosing one who is not worthy.

[half-a-sista]

I'm with On a Journey Sista. Michael Jackson was a human being who had his faults, his strangeness.

To judge the man as a pedophile because he had little boys sleep with him in bed is to jump to a conclusion that may not have been true. It may speak to his naivete rather than any sexual perversion. No one has ever come forward to speak of his sexual tastes who didn't have their hand out for a few million dollars.

As to his contributions, they were huge, but I need to take a friend to the doctor so I must sign off for now. Responsibility first, then sass.

[Westsista]

Hey, I just have to say - it is up to us to make judgments. We make criminal judgments, as a society, and its up to us to make judgments every day about who choose to be, how we choose to live our life, who we choose to allow in our life.

I enjoyed him as a great entertainer but I can't get over the child molestation part. He did not ever contradict the children (more than one) who testified that he gave them "Jesus Juice" in coke cans - which was wine. I watched him being interviewed after the allegations - when he said "I would never hurt a child, I love children." This is a typical thing that child molesters say. They genuinely believe their actions are ok because they do love children - including inappropriate ways. For me, if you add up the $20 million and his self-admitted sleeping with children in his bed and the giving wine to children . . . well, you may not want to make a judgment about it but I will. I think he did have inappropriate sexual contact with children.

Also influencing me are LaToya's accusations toward their father about molestation - very easy for me to believe. I really think Joe Jackson is a monster. What kind of a person self-promotes their new record label on the very day that their son dies suddenly? And does it again the very next morning at a press conference? I can easily see why his son could see his "loving" behavior toward children as totally different from his father's sexual abuse. But ultimately both - not even remotely ok.

Yes, On A Journey Sista, none of us know everything about each other's real story. Yet it is up to us to make judgments about what is real and true versus what is imagined or phony.

I am stunned at the level of public interest in his death. This wall-to-wall coverage makes me keenly uncomfortable. Obviously he was well-loved.

[Jerseysista]

On-a-Journey, blogs are all about opinions, which means blogs are about judgments. Judgment is not a bad thing if we are willing to hold it up for others to scrutinize.

As the ‘sphere knows, I often disagree with noway’s opinions and he disagrees with mine. What I love about this place, though, is that we can poke at each other’s rationale and hold each other to being honest. I think that the important point is not to poke at the person himself. It’s a fine line. A week or two ago, half-a-sista accused me of calling him names rather than addressing the issues but the issue I was attempting to address was that I felt his views reflected an dishonest belief.

I think noway laid out why he thought MJ was a creep. That was an honest opinion. I think your pointing out noway’s judgmentalism is misplaced. The very purpose of this blog is for judgment and compassion. An honest response would be a contrary opinion by you about what you admired about Jackson.

[Westsista]

Flann, I watched most of the service. At first it was just on after I was watching Keith Olbermann, but I ended up leaving it on. There was something compelling about it and the music was great. I didn't expect to be moved but I was. The only part that really irked me was Al Sharpton. I used to respect him but he can be such an ass. Talk about a media whore.

Contrast that to my disgust at getting a BREAKING NEWS text alert from CNN when his golden coffin was put at the front of the room. His death certainly qualifies as breaking news but not an update on the coffin.

News is a business, and they serve up what we want to consume. I know I've watched some of the coverage so I'm as guilty as anyone. Media news reflects who we are, they don't create us. I'd love to see this level of passion about health care but I know I've watched more news about Michael Jackson over the past week than in-depth reporting on the health care debate. And more about Sarah Palin than MJ and health care combined.

Great post as always, Flann.

[Carolyn]

Why all this tippy-toeing around? Michael Jackson was an incredibly talented entertainer. Period. If some of his music touched lives for the better, then it's icing on the cake. Still, giving anyone, at taxpayers expense, this garish circus of a 'funeral' is beyond ridiculous, it's insulting. I am embarrassed for every person who emptied Junior's piggy bank to pay homage to ANYONE, much less MJ. No matter how you slice and dice it, the guy was a child molester. Please don't give me lame arguments about what the jury said, a jury said that OJ was innocent, too. I'm sick of 'politically correct' meaning 'let's overlook the obvious' and an opinion automatically being labelled a 'judgement'. MJ, and what he stood for, did, failed to do, the man as a whole stands before whatever true 'judgement' there is after this life. I'm quite content to leave him there, his life examined by the powers that be. But don't bring him up to me and expect me to regard him with an unblemished attitude.

[Jerseysista]

My views are pretty much Carolyn's on this --except for that "judgment after this life" part. ;-)

[Flannista]

I am having problems connecting to the internet. Am reading the sass feed from my iPhone which isn't the best device for making long comments. Stay tuned.

[Flannista]

Still no internet connection. Am on my way to a mid-week noon church service. Will be back soon. Am still reading.

Love to all.

[Matissta]

I think Michael Jackson was an exceptional performer. A musical genius in my opinion.

I didn't see any of the service, except pieces that were highlighted on the news. I find it difficult to understand why his fans believed they knew him personally. He was a performer. Many of his close friends (people who really knew him) said he was incredibly shy; nothing like he was on stage.

I read a very interesting article about the outpouring of emotion when a celebrity dies. (Jersey, I think you'll really like this article.)
http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/07/06/1988001.aspx

[PEACEsista]

My mom and I sat on the sofa yesterday looking out at the lake. I opened my laptop to the streaming live video at the very end of the service. The only line I remember from the final prayer is "Today the King of Pop bends his knee to the King of Kings." My mom asked, "Who's Michael Jackson?"

[Jerseysista]

You're right, Matiss. You know me well. This article was fascinating. There are so many things there that I can comment on. For starters, there is the reminder that the word "fan" has religious roots referring to those who were fanatical worshipers.

[Matissta]

PEACE, I want to meet your mother! That comment made me laugh out loud and definitely puts things into proper perspective.

Glad you liked it, Jersey. I was afraid that I might have built it up too much.

Oh and btw, aside from his musical talent, I definitely think he was an odd duck.

[Jerseysista]

Here’s another thought prompted by the MSNBC article. “Our brains don’t always know the difference” between parasocial relationships (those relationships where, through image media such as TV, we are tricked into thinking we know the people we are hearing and seeing) and real life relationships. The researcher is claiming that, as a result of this failure of our brains to distinguish parasocial relationships for real ones, some people may suffer grief in equal measure for celebrities as for people they know or even love in real life.

If true, that explains a lot. It also explains the TV viewing habits of a number of people I know.

[Flannista]

Sweet Jesus, thank gawd for PEACE's mother! Just when you think you don't know what to sass, out of the heavens comes the voice of reason. Thank you.

I'm back from church and seems like the internet is working for me. Back with sass as soon as I gobble down some lunch. Hope the damn thing doesn't go down again while I'm chomping on the Hot & Spicy Cheez-its.