September 2009 Open Mic

The sassosphere microphone is open, sistas and mistas.  

Please step up and dish whatever you like.  We're listening.

The Sassistas! sponsor Open Mic the last Friday of every month.

Comments

[Flannista]

Hello, beloveds. As usual -- a fun, intense month.

We had fun with public flatulence (9/2), half-a-sista's giant cross (9/9), gam digging (9/19) and The Wizard (yesterday). We took a closer look at Obama on 9/8 and responses to healthcare reform (9/10) and executive ingratitude during Westsista's always fabulous "Meet the Sass" on 9/16. We struggled with lost souls (9/2-9/3) and dying dreams (9/22).

Free feel to continue to sass on any of these topics or whatever you like. We're listening.

[Flannista]

This coming Sunday, I'm leading an Adult Forum presentation at my former church on the Sassistas! community. DCsista (who is in charge of Adult Education at this church) extended the invitation this way: " . . . we're exploring the theme of relationships. i'm going to do a session on facebook. i was thinking that sassistas is an extraordinary blog and its built this cherished and cherishing, yet intellectually rigorous community."

If any of you would like to share how Sassistas! has become community for you (or how it hasn't), please do. If you can, provide a specific example of what you mean.

Thanks much.

[Flannista]

Just wanted you all to know that this past Tuesday evening, we surpassed 14,000 comments to 525 different lifetime posts. As of this morning, Sassistas! has had more than 166,000 lifetime views. A year ago this month, our lifetime views totaled 35,000.

Thanks for your sassport, and continue to email posts to your friends if you think the topic would be of interest to them.

Love to all.

[half-a-sista]

DCsista was very brave to ask you to talk about Sassistas! at her church (of course, I don't know anything about her church or what it's like). To say the blog is an "intellectually rigorous community" puts it mildly. We have discussed some very heated issues, hurt feelings, made heartfelt apologies, but always listened. Blogging isn't as good as face-to-face interactions, but it is the way of the early 21st century.

Congratulations on the 166,000 lifetime views. That's about 10,000(?) per month for the last year. Who are all those people who don't post? I wonder what they do and think.

A point of clarification, I am not surprised that DCsista asked Flann to speak. Flann is a great speaker. I want to know more about what DCsista's church is like, but if DCsista attends the institution it must be pretty neat.

[Chrysosistah]

I can't BELIEVE it's open mic already. Where does the time go? Intense is the word, definitely.

Let me again thank the Sassistas! community in the DC area for being such good hostesses -- it was the highlight of my month. Hoping to maybe skip out a bit early today and visit the beach for a few hours -- hear that we might get our first cool-down next week (PTL!), so wanna go enjoy the beach before it gets too cool. Flannista had suggested reading "Gift From The Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, and boy howdy, has that also inspired the desire to sit by the sea ;-) Excellent read!

[Flannista]

Hey Chryso -- why don't you post one of the quotes from Lindbergh's book that you really liked. Again, you will love it. It is the only book I ever gave to my mother that I believe she read more than once. My mother. Think about that. I gave it to her because she loved sea shells and had boxes of them. I have them now in various glass bowels around my home. Hope you have a lovely afternoon at the beach. Tell us all about it when you get back.

[Flannista]

Half-a-sista: DCsista's church is wonderful. I was a member there for a long time, but over the last several years, found myself in need of a church with literally more light. It's odd, I know. Also, when Isaac died, I got great solace walking a labyrinth at a convent about 35 miles away. The church Matissta and I are attending now has a large outdoor labyrinth in its churchyard. Plus the church has huge glass (not stained glass) windows and recently underwent a renovation to "go green" to meet its mission of honoring "human ecology." The rector and the assistant rector are both openly gay. And, for some reason I can't fathom, I like the rector's sermons. Normally, I can't stand sermons. But hers, I like. Also, her invitation to the Eucharist includes everyone, even those who don't believe in god.

Half-a, when have you heard me speak? Thanks for the feedback. I've been told that I'm a good speaker. It always unnerves me, but I'm always honored for the opportunity.

Could you elaborate more on blogging being "the way" to interact in the early 21st century? Hope you don't mind if I quote you on Sunday. Actually, I hope NONE of you do because I plan to take excerpts from various comments and share them -- using your sass names, of course.

[Flannista]

PEACEsista -- how's your mom and the minister of your church? Also your friend who recently had brain surgery?

[Flannista]

For those of you who are faithful to your Facebook identity -- what are the primary advantages and disadvantages of Facebook over, say, Sassistas!? I often feel like the sassosphere competes directly with Facebook.

[Flannista]

BREAKING NEWS SASS!

I downloaded my first MP3 album this week. I was doing some research for TRM's wife (a fund-raising letter) and came across a video for a song called "Letters from the Sky" by a band called "Civil Twilight." I instantly loved it, as I'm taken easily by piano-based, angst-ridden rock ballads. Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uREQbFYhJ8

[nowayasista]

Intellectually rigorous community? Instincts make me want to run from that one. Congrats on all of the hits. Best church so far may be the beach that was mentioned. Put down the book and get in the water or at least run in the sand.

Disadvantages/advantages of Facebook and or Sassitas . . . must be too intellectually rigorous for this kid.

[Chrysosistah]

Oh, no -- I don't feel that way at all, Flannista. They serve two very distinct purposes for me. Perhaps simply in free time to devote, there might be competition for some? Sassistas!, after all, has heard FAR more about my inner thoughts & processes & current status than FB. FB I use to simply keep in touch with the wider network of friends, keep up in a casual sort of way. Easy to share pics & photos, nice place to post things that matter at the moment. I like the notes feature to capture my thoughts, lyrics/poems I like, etc. But VERY different than Sassistas! Sometimes Sassistas! functions for me as a surrogate workplace community, since I am relegated to working from home. Also have developed far more intimate, yes cherished, friendships here -- although I have also good & cherished friends on FB too.

The (relative) anonymity is liberating, no?

Quote, huh? How about this one:
"Now, instead of planting our solitude with our own dream blossoms, we choke the space with continuous music, chatter and companionship to which we do not even listen. It is simply there to fill the vacuum. When the noise stops there is no inner . . . music to take its place. We must re-learn to be alone."~~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

[Flannista]

The "Civil Twilight" album was ONLY available in MP3. I normally prefer to buy the CD -- need a hard copy.

Here's another song from that album called, "Human." I just LOVE this lead singer's voice:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lU0ZCFIB8U&feature=channel

[Chrysosistah]

That is a good song (Letters from the Sky). Have you checked out the lyrics? Sounds very VERY inspired by 9-11 -- or is it just me?

[half-a-sista]

Seems like we have become more comfortable with communication that does not involve actual physical connection. We want to reach out and touch electronically, not physically. We want instant communication, no letters or postcards. We want to communicate when and what we want whenever we want to.

Flann and I have talked about the lack of intimacy of personal communication between the two of us. Most of our interactions are through the computer. Sometimes I just want to hear her voice. Best of all I love to see her face and watch her as she talks.

The computer talk also allows us to say things, anything we want without bearing the looks of those people who hear it or dealing with their responses on a physical level. Hence, you can see what that allows by checking any political or social blog. People can be as hateful as they want without consequence. That's bad in my book.

Sassistas! is different in that I know I will, at some point, be held responsible for everything I write.

And I don't care how sophisticated blogging becomes, it will never match the face-to-face interactions between/among people. When we communicate in person we receive and give all kinds of clues as to what the meaning is of what we are saying. As humans we process all of those visual cues to assess what the person says and what they mean. We can't do that on a computer.

[Chrysosistah]

Too true, Half-a -- the blog is a great place for many kinds of interactions, but it will never take the place of direct face-to-face contact.

A friend & I recently had a falling out over precisely this kind of issue -- we were communicating via email, when the subject was so touchy & emotive we should have known better -- should have picked up the phone. But we didn't, and things are currently in limbo. Very lamentable, because I KNOW if we had been face-to-face, that miscommunication would have never taken place.

[Flannista]

Chryso -- I wondered about a possible 9/11 tie-in when I listened to "Letters from the Sky" for about the 15th time, but dismissed it as I tend to see 9/11 or tragedy in EVERYthing. So don't tell Matissta, but I agree with you, that yes, this song could have an oblique 9/11 tie-in. Glad I wasn't the only one who thought so.

Thanks, too, for your feedback about FB and Sassistas! Have you shared on FB, for example, the decision you and Planta have made to end your marriage? What was it about the Sassistas! community that made it a safe place for you to open up about that?

The quote you chose from Lindbergh is wonderful. Thanks.

[Flannista]

half-a-sista: I HATE email, I really do. I hated it before Matissta and I opened the sassosphere, and I still don't like it. I have a whole file folder (huge file, really -- ask Matiss and Jersey who have seen it) of cards to send in the mail to beloveds. I do not send email thank-you's, for example. I send thank-you notes.

I also don't like the phone, which troubles me because my mother never did and still doesn't much, either. I don't think it's because I don't want to hear from people -- it's just that most of the calls I get are sales calls. I think I posted this once, but about two months ago, I kept track of all of the calls to my home phone (not cell phone) over a two-week period. I got 78. Only EIGHT of them were personal calls. EIGHT. The rest were sales calls. Unless I recognize the number, I no longer answer the phone and tend not to answer it to anybody after 7 pm EST.

I confess I could do better about sending personal letters and cards.

But here's the thing: Matiss and I never imagined that the sassosphere would become a COMMUNITY. We started it as a creative outlet for the two of us. It became much, much larger and more complicated -- and much more gratifying -- than we ever anticipated. For example, I became the "mother" I have always longed to be. Not only for the sassosphere, but also for myself. I am fighting my way to post more and more of my own voice, damn the torpedoes and whoever else has me in their sights to scold and judge.

Outside of the word, "community," what other words describe the sassosphere for you?

[Carolyn]

Excuse my rather pedestrian comment, amidst the more high-minded chatter, but last night I had a dream about Kitty Carlisle. Remember Kitty? On that old game show "I've Got a Secret"? She came across as some sort of uber-cool, blue-blood, society dame. Still, gimme a break. How many people dreamed about Ms. Carlisle last night? She occupies not a scintilla of my waking thoughts, but crept in during my rem cycle last night, I guess. Anyway, she & I, (a very young version of both of us), were stripped down to our slinky silk slips and lying on a divan the size of a canoe. We're drinking some yummy libation full of cracked ice, and she's describing the best party she ever went to in New York. "All the servers were midgets" (her words), "they wore togas and carried silver trays with iced vodka and caviar."

?

Now, I won't even venture to guess what longing this dream is trying to express in my subconcious. I have no feelings one way or the other about people who are small in stature. And I'm not aware of any desire to wear or see Kitty Carlisle wear, a white silk slip. I refuse to eat a fish egg passed off as a fancy delicacy, will hardly eat a chicken's if I think on it hard enough. So, I suppose that this is just one of those dreams that attach themselves to your snoozing brain, willy-nilly, refusing interpretation.

Still.

Kitty Carlisle?!!

[Carolyn]

Sassistas? A hodgepodge collection of people of varying interests, intellect, and religious views who fuss and squabble and choose to reunite over the dinner table every day.

[Chrysosistah]

Flannista, NO, absolutely not - the info has only been shared with a few souls who know me. Not with any of our families, and not with kiddo either (yet). We are progressing, we are talking about things, there is movement along that path, but nothing so definitive that we feel we need to invite the wider world's "Greek Chorus", as I put it to Half-a in an email a while ago. Most of my friends do not know, and most of my co-workers do not either. And that's fine for the moment.

Mercy, I KNOW I could do better with snail mail. I have so many things stacked up to send to various friends, and am just awful at making the act of writing and sending a priority.

I think primarily the reason I shared here was a blend of needing to share with someone, of knowing the general mix & being comfortable in this space, and of course, the relative anonymity.

I recall you telling me how surprised you were by the general development of Sassistas! Glad to hear it's a gratifying surprise ;-) I think it's an excellent development for you to be mothering yourself this way, help you to heal some of those old wounds. And the creative outlet is superb, no??

[Chrysosistah]

Carolyn, that's just WILD! I had to look her up, couldn't picture her (did you maybe catch an ad for one of her flicks on Turner Classic Movies?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OQmEa5OKyOI/RzVP4d19N-I/AAAAAAAAAsA/KjAnrwEOHDQ/s1600-h/KittyCarlisleB01.jpg

[half-a-sista]

If Kitty Carlisle represented the uber-cool society woman who attends fabulous and outrageous NY parties, does a part of you wish for that kind of experience/life? All I remember about her is when the dumbbell (as it hand-held device) rolled off the wall of her highrise apartment in NYC and killed some man on the street below. Funny what I remember about people.

Sassistas! Certain a collection of people, as Carolyn noted. We would not be acquainted except for the blog site. The focus is our friend, Flann. She is the common denominator for all of us.

Facebook...I disabled my account. I found the amount of traffic and assault on my life. I wanted to read it all, but, alas, I don't have that much time and I really didn't care for all the nonsense that people sent. I had to wade through it to get to the good stuff.

Facebook, Twitter, and blogging act like shotguns filled with buckshot, you hit a whole bunch of things without much impact.

[PEACEsista]

I have been weaning myself away from the computer this month. There are many people and duties in life that need more of my time. For me, the computer is a tool, but it is a dangerous one. I have mild obsessive-compulsive tendencies and if I don't pay attention, I spend way too much valuable time in the electronic world. It is no one thing, Sassistas, Facebook, e-mail, but a combination of it all.

Thanks for asking about the people in my life, Flann. That is a lovely thing about Sassistas, it is indeed a caring community. It is part of your success really, that you remember the details of peoples' lives and reach out to them on the blog. Congratulations on your good numbers!

My mom is okay for now. My minister, Suzanne, is not well. She is crippled, quite literally, by the same back pain that began in June, before the colon cancer was diagnosed. She begins chemotherapy next week. The woman who had brain surgery, Terry, is okay, but had a stroke somewhere along the way, before, during or after surgery, and is recovering from it. Another woman in church, Jan, has a stage four brain tumor. The tumor and the surgery to remove it caused weakness on the left side of her body. I've heard others say that she has only a few months to live. Our small church Caring Committee is working over-time, literally. As president of the church board, I didn't realize all that the minister did, until she was unable to do it. Our church covenant begins, "Love is the spirit of this church and service its cause ..." One benefit of these hardships is that our covenant has become very ALIVE.

Yesterday, noway's aunt Rosie died. She was sick and it was time. Noway's mom, her sister and brother are all still living, but their spouses are all dead. Does anyone ever think about having such things in common when they are old?

This weekend I am going to a silent meditation retreat in the mountains with a group of church friends. I love silence. It makes me smile to think of a Buddhist blog ... a blank white screen ...

[Chrysosistah]

PEACE, that is a wonderfully wry and apt description of an appropriate Buddhist blog ;-) Thanks for the grin.

It's wonderful descriptions of these various church families like this that makes me yearn to re-connect with a church community. Haven't been at all successful so far. Although I am very sorry to hear of the various afflictions, how very uplifting to have a community like this to care for its members.