As you know, the Sassistas! keep a keen eye open for objets d'art particularly during the holiday season. How fortunate we were -- actually, the entire world, too -- when we came across a full-age advertisement for this indescribable item in Sunday's Parade magazine: The Tweety Pendant.
Hailed as "the spirited style of your favorite cartoon chick captured in a Swarovski crystal-studded pendant", The Tweety Pendant is an 18kt gold-plated pendant with, yes, over 100 glittering Swarovski crystals -- all hand set "for a truly dramatic effect" and is available exclusively from the Danbury Mint.
But wait, there's MORE! "All that sparkle is set off beautifully by TWEETY's 18kt gold-plated adorable beak and feet." A rhodium-plated 16" chain with a 2" extender and a satin-lined presentation box are included at no additional charge. All this is yours for just $117 plus $7.50 for shipping and service.
That seemed expensive to the Sassistas!, so we conducted an in-depth insassigation and learned that The Tweety Pendant makes any wearer look dramatically younger. Years, indeed decades, seem to simply fly away. See that chick (far left) wearing The Tweety Pendant? Click here to see what she looked like before she donned The Tweet.
The Sassistas! believe that The Tweety Pendant may have other miraculous powers. Please conduct your own insassigations and let us know. Also, if you were to send The Tweety Pendant as a holiday gift, how would you inscribe your gift card?
When you wear The Tweety Pendant, your own feet become adorable.
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 05:12 AM
GIFT CARD INSCRIPTION: Tweety for my Tweetie
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 05:13 AM
Wear The Tweety Pendant on Christmas Eve and you become so incredibly sexy that you’ll be inspired to write your own holiday story:
Twat the Night Before Christmas.
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 08:11 AM
--love, sylvester--
And by the way, I hope for a lovely snow and seeing Flannista and Mattista Sunday if they come over to the festival...
Posted by: frida | December 04, 2009 at 08:47 AM
I’m assuming that’s what The Tweety Pendant gift card would say, frida! Very funny!
We’ll make a point of coming by on Sunday. Matiss, Jersey and I are attending our town’s “Festival of Lights” ceremony tonight, though we’ve come to affectionately call it the “Festival of Light” given the paucity of actual lights.
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 08:52 AM
Flann's 8:11 comment is unlikely to be matched.
I am simply unaware of the market for this kind of stuff, but I'm sure it's either a bullseye or not, and you know who you are.
So the only gift card I can imagine attaching to this would read:
Because I am just this desperate.
Posted by: babysis | December 04, 2009 at 09:20 AM
Gift care inscription: Xmas is for the birds.
Or: For Xmas I'm giving you the bird.
Or: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Hanging the pendant in your car should protect you from birds pooping on the vehicle.
Hanging it on a birdbath makes that place a bird spa.
Hanging is around your neck guarantees that scammers will see you as a sucker and their next victim.
Hanging it around a woman's neck will mean that she is a "chick" and not a woman.
St. Frances wore one which is why birds landed on his hands and shoulders.
Wearing one will increase your chances of attack by a cat over 90%.
Posted by: half-a-sista | December 04, 2009 at 09:25 AM
half-a’s, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” comes close to matching my 8:11 comment, babysis.
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 09:31 AM
There is no way I can come up with anything as ummm.....errrr...pointed(?) as Flannista's and Half-a's wit.
That necklace IS too expensive - the gall of some companies.
This was always my favorite bird, still is:
http://static.playdo.com/1018/zoogal87/tabimages/Snoopy___Woodstock.jpg
Posted by: Chrysosistah | December 04, 2009 at 09:47 AM
Flann, how about, "A bird in the hand is a hand in the bush"?
Posted by: half-a-sista | December 04, 2009 at 10:10 AM
Gift card inscription: You're my tweetheart.
Twat the night before Xmas
And all through the house
Only humans were stirring, not that old mouse.
When upstairs in the bedroom arose such a clatter
I ascended the stairs to see what was a matter.
Gift card inscription: A bird for a bird. (Probably only works in England.)
Posted by: half-a-sista | December 04, 2009 at 10:13 AM
For bird haters, hang these necklaces in the windows of your home or office and watch the outside birds hurl themselves into the glass to get at Tweety.
Use them as bird snares. The birds become so fascinated with the crystals that you can put salt on their tails and catch them.
Gift card inscription: Tweet me right.
Gift card inscription: I get all tweety when you're around.
Posted by: half-a-sista | December 04, 2009 at 10:17 AM
Another use for a box of baking soda: a Tweety necklace display block.
If you had a fight with your significant other, the gift card inscription would be: This is a peace Tweety.
Posted by: half-a-sista | December 04, 2009 at 10:20 AM
Gotta admit, half-a has the "gift." I especially like "Tweet me right," although I imagine it sounding "tweet me wight" (not white).
Posted by: babysis | December 04, 2009 at 10:30 AM
Totally agree, babysis!
Posted by: Chrysosistah | December 04, 2009 at 10:38 AM
Give the pendant at Halloween with a card that asks, “Twick or tweet?”
(Guess it was “twick” as this is my SECOND attempt to post.)
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 10:59 AM
gift card inscription: You are my tweet tart.
gift card inscription: I thot I thaw a puddycat.
gift care inscription: It's only a bird in a gilded frame.
A box of these pendants would be a bunch of tweeters.
Tweet should offer one of these pendants to everyone who signs up during a specific period of time for a Tweet account.
I thought Swarovski was a cheap vodka, suitable for making Vodka Giblets. EUREKA! Make a vodka giblet but instead of a chicken giblet on a toothpick put a chilled Tweety pendant in the glass, a vodka Tweety.
Gift card inscription: Is this tweet or what?
Posted by: half-a-sista | December 04, 2009 at 11:00 AM
A perfect gift for Gilda Radner's Barbara Wawa and her tweasure twove of jewelwy.
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 11:07 AM
Make wuv under this light while wearing the pendant:
http://www.uberreview.com/wp-content/uploads/tweety-bird-lamp-kids.JPG
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 11:10 AM
Another miraculous Tweety Pendant twansformation!!!:
http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/1924.jpg
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 11:12 AM
Is it just me or does The Tweet have the BIGGEST FEET for a bird its size? That explains a lot, I mean, a twat.
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 11:16 AM
The person who actually sold one of these can write: I thot I thaw an idiot!
Posted by: SistaSista | December 04, 2009 at 11:25 AM
SistaSista! Clearly you are NOT an idiot! Thanks for commenting, you tweet thing, you.
Posted by: Flannista | December 04, 2009 at 11:46 AM
gift card inscription: A Tweety Tweet
gift card inscription for a woman/man named Robin: Rockin's Robin, all the little birdies go, "Tweety, tweety, tweety."
I'm with you SistaSista. Who would spend $117 plus shipping and handling on an expensive piece of costume jewelry? No, is the crystals were diamonds . . . no, not even then.
Footie pajamas with Tweety Bird on them would be "Tweety Feety."
When Tweety appears on your feet, you have Ath-Tweety's Foot.
Thank goodness, it's time for me to leave for lunch and during the walk I can think of more Tweet things to send to my Tweeties.
Posted by: half-a-sista | December 04, 2009 at 12:17 PM
Oh Flann, yes, your comment at 8:11 makes me so proud...
The Danbury Mint seems to really have quite a selection of items! It's so hard to chose.
The card: Crazy as a loon!
Posted by: Matissta | December 04, 2009 at 12:53 PM