Mega Ending

It's the movie you've been waiting for, sistas and mistas: "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus"!!  And the Sassistas! are proud to share its exclusive trailer (above), knowing that it is certain to break all box office records and go down in cinematic history for . . . well, see for yourself!!

Actually, the Sassistas! don't think this is a real movie and the trailer is a great stunt. Still, we think that if we merged all the creativity in the sassosphere and came up with an intriguing back story plus a mega ending for "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus", we could inspire Hollywood to actually make this film, and we could ALL MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!

So rev up your creative genius!  Where did the Mega Shark and Giant Octopus come from?  Why the Golden Gate Bridge?  Who wins in the end?  What famous movie lines and movie characters can we incorporate into the story line to lure members of every single demographic group in the country?

Yes, it's Mega Flop vs. Giant Profits for the sassosphere!  Let's go mano y mano (or teeth to tentacle) with Hollywood and make some bucks!  Please post your movie treatments or sample lines or subplots or character names now!  

James Cameron and "Avatar"?  You ain't seen nuthin' yet.

Comments

[Flannista]

Before the sass starts rolling, let me just say that it was either this post or a post on conflict avoidance this Monday morning. Perhaps this movie trailer is a foreshadowing of sass to come . . .

Before I head off to the Fitness Center, wanted you to know that I lay awake in bed this morning racking my brain for a way to tie "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" into either the wildly popular Vampire books/movies franchise or the wildly popular Harry Potter books/movies franchise. Still pondering.

In the meantime, get on it.

[Flannista]

One possibility:

The name of the shark is Sarah. The name of the octopus is Hillary.

Go.

[Flannista]

As an award-winning creative director, my opinion is that the current title is ALL WRONG for this block-buster. The creators have not looked beyond the obvious title of "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus," and have risked losing the attention of several key demographic groups.

My professional advice? Change the title. Open some eyes. Make some bucks.

Keep everything the same. Change the title to this:

MENOPAUSE: THE MOVIE

[Flannista]

Often, the success of a movie or product is an unforgettable tagline, i.e.:

ALIEN: In space, no one can hear you scream.

SHREK: The greatest fairy tale never told.

STAR TREK: Where no man has gone before.

"Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" simply needs a winning tagline! How about:

You picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.

OR

Where no plot has gone before.

[Flannista]

To lure football fanatics, change the title to:

ARIZONA CARDINALS vs. GREEN BAY PACKERS: Wild Card or Just Wild?

[Jerseysista]

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus: Size matters

[Jerseysista]

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus: Off the leash

[PEACEsista]

Stage this movie in waters near the middle east. Have these menaces affect the oil supply. Consider having Israelis and Palestinians (or the Jewish and Arab worlds) work together to confront these menaces ... or consider how each side might recruit them to "kill each other." The tag line might be: "Will anyone survive?" or "Come on in, the water's fine."

[PEACEsista]

Stage this movie in waters near the middle east. Have these menaces affect the oil supply. Consider having Israelis and Palestinians (or the Jewish and Arab worlds) work together to confront these menaces ... or consider how each side might recruit them to "kill each other." The tag line might be: "Will anyone survive?" or "Come on in, the water's fine."

[Jerseysista]

The Packers/Cardinals game WAS wild.

[Jerseysista]

My bet is that MS vs GO is a real movie.

[Flannista]

PEACEsista's movie treatment was so awesome that the Typepad platform had to post it TWICE, simply to take it in!

But wait -- is some mega-menace lurking in the Typepad platform???

JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO POST AGAIN!!!!

[Flannista]

In light of the revelations on "60 Minutes" last night, here's a movie title for for my 5:48 a.m. Mega Shark/Sarah vs. Giant Octopus/Hillary idea:

GOD'S PLAN

[Flannista]

Jersey -- about your 9:04 a.m. "Size matters" tagline . . . as both these monsters are about the same size, seems like size DOESN'T matter, unless, of course, they are males. I was thinking of them as females -- perhaps guarding their youngin's?

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus: The mother of all movies.

[Flannista]

Jerse -- also thought I'd tweak your 9:05 a.m., "off the leash" idea just a bit to this:

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus: Off the meds.

Whaddya think?

[Flannista]

PEACEsista -- your Middle East setting with the world's oil supply at stake as a possible plot is just brilliant -- with the Israelites and Palestinians coming together to conquer these menacing monsters. Why not throw in a bit of faith, too?

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus: And you thought the Old Testament God was bad . . .

[Jerseysista]

So how is MS vs GO any different than Mothra vs Godzilla? Are you shocked, Flann, we haven't progressed any further?

[PEACEsista]

Careful Flann ... a LOT of people believe in and pray to the "Old Testament God." Though maybe you are going for the "Mel Gibson effect" by trying to aggravate people of faith, drawing even more attention to your movie!

[Flannista]

Or "Alien vs. Predator," Jersey.

If I'm shocked by anything, it's that NO ONE has considered making a SUPER-MEGA MONSTER MOVIE:

Mega-Shark, Giant Octopus, Mothra and Godzille

VS.

Alien, Predator, Angelina and Brad

[half-a-sista]

Israelites? I thought they were all dead and replaced by the Israelis. It wouldn't be the Israelites and the Palestineans in any case because the Palestinians didn't exist when the Israelites did. Now I'm confused. I thought I knew my biblical history.

My favorite scene is the one when MegaShark jumps out of the ocean and takes down the 747. What a guy!

They awake as a result of global warming, you know.

[Jerseysista]

I guess this raises the bar for "jumping the shark."

[half-a-sista]

I think the shark should have been a cow and then it could have been MegaMoo v. Giant Octopus. Cows can jump over the moon, you know.

[Matissta]

I don't know, I could see this as a political movie.

Chris Dodd as MegaShark; I don't think I need to explain him being cast in this role.
Arianna Huffington as Giant Octopus, because she gets her hands into everything.

As for the Old Testament version, couldn't you see MegaShark parting the Red Sea?! And in 3D.

[Flannista]

Been out of the 'sphere for a while.

So far, I think half-a-sista has the best "back story" going with the whole global warming thing into which we can tie PEACEsista's oil shortage.

I used "Israelites" on purpose, half-a, as I was doing precisely what PEACE suspected -- the "Mel Gibson" effect; aggravating people of faith, particularly those who can't stand the Old Testament. Love the shark parting the Red Sea in 3-D, Matiss. Brilliant. We could also install sprinklers in the theaters so moviegoers get soaked when the shark jumps.

Changing the shark to a cow is udder nonsense, half-a. Not certain what other ideas we can milk out of that unless the cow gets stuck on the moon and responds to the radio transmission, "Houston, we have a problem."

Actually, tweak that line a bit and you have an interesting tagline for "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus": America, we have a problem.

Matiss -- that tag would clearly work with your Chris Dodd/Arianna Huffington treatment.

[Flannista]

Is it just me or has everyone else in the 'sphere missed an OBVIOUS back story?

The setting for this movie is clearly the San Francisco area -- the gay capitol of the world. In the hands of a director like Mel Gibson, couldn't the Mega-Shark and the Giant Octopus be abominations of nature, not unlike homosexuals??!!! By destroying each other, these monsters will also destroy San Francisco, tearing out the heart of the gay community and setting America "straight", thereby making all of us Bible-believing Christians again!