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Drum roll, please! For the first time in the history of the sassosphere, the Sassistas! are tickled to death to acknowledge and thank babysis for dishing today's sass!
Fueling our anticipation on the way to Monster Jam, the local rock station cues up Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold,” a fitting mood setter for the crowd we will spend the next several hours with. We fork out $15 to park very near the Citrus Bowl, nestling our mini-van among RVs, Hummers, and pick-up trucks blasting train horns every 10 minutes or so.
Our first stop is the long line to ride in Blue Thunder, a monster truck replica of the original, with two bench seats lining the truck bed. There are seat belts and a roll cage, but if you’re over 36 inches tall, you can handle the figure eights and lots of noise.
Our next stop is the Pit Party, featuring all 14 trucks in tonight’s show. You shouldn’t touch, but you can get very close and take all the photos you want. This year we obtained seven driver autographs, adding to the value of our $10 Souvenir Yearbook.
Vendors offer food, drink, and merchandise, but we’ve come prepared. We eat our packed supper in the van, toss the football, listen to music, read, nap, or people watch. On this occasion, my observation shows more drunk rednecks prefer to make love, not war.
Around 7 pm, we walk to the stadium, where the sold-out crowd of over 60K is growing restless. The National Anthem is sung by the winner of a radio competition, and the introductions begin. All 14 trucks enter the stadium, engines roaring, and eventually position themselves around a giant oval, electrifying the crowd. The noise is indescribable, but I called Flann and Matiss to give them the phone version.
The show lasts about three hours, and features racing and freestyle portions, with entertaining filler events of extreme moto-cross jumping and soccer mom minivan demo-cross (see photo left; note that the back of the green van on the far right says, "BABY ON BOARD"). One biker crash landed and had to be loaded into an ambulance, but he gave the universal thumbs-up symbol. The minivan race had no rules to speak of, and the woman who won exclaimed, "That was the best feeling of my life!"
The final event is 90 seconds of a solo freestyle rampage by each monster truck. The crowd favorite won convincingly, and is a true icon in the sport after 28 years of competition. Dennis Anderson, the driver of Grave Digger, thanked the crowd for their faithful support over the years, and reminded us that a night with monster trucks gets your mind off the economy and your troubles. We had to agree, and felt $104 for four tickets was time and money well spent.
What do you consider a good time for a great price?
To view a Youtube video of the 2009 "Air Force Afterburner Champion" click here.
Always on the cutting edge of fashion, the Sassistas! must throw our two sasses in about the costume brouhaha created by Russian ice dancing pair, Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin at the 2010 Winter Olympics this past Sunday evening. Each ice dancing pair was asked to perform a "country/folk dance." The Russian pair chose to perform an Australian "aboriginal dance," (not Inuit, by the way, but the Sassistas! couldn't resist our clever post title. Shame on us.). According to Washington Post sports reporter, Tracee Hamilton:
. . . they donned bodysuits with a dark brown skin tone and white markings resembling aboriginal body paint, or what non-aboriginals believe resembles aboriginal body paint. Both costumes are adorned with leaves, and Shabalin wears a loincloth.
Not surprisingly, some Australian aboriginal leaders have accused the Russians of offensive cultural theft, criticizing the costumes and calling some of the steps unauthentic. Well, for sass' sake, these steps ARE being performed on skates.
What do you think? To view a gallery of other ice dancing costumes, click here.
In the meantime, know that the Sassistas! think the real brouhaha Sunday evening was NBC's decision to relegate the ice hockey game between the United States and Canada to MSNBC for prime time. If you're going to skate on ice, the best costume is always heavily padded with a matching helmet and big-stick accoutrement.
Last week, on Ash Wednesday, Flannista made her daily call to Jerseysista a little later than usual. First thing Jersey asked was where Flann had been. Flann confessed that she had spent the last hour and a half at the office store picking out a new journal. Seems like the one she had been keeping since June 14, 2004 (thick, black-leather-bound, 600 pages, bottom above) was finally full.
"It took you THAT long to find a new journal?" asked Jersey.
"Of course," responded Flann. "For one thing, it had to be lighter. I can't carry around a heavy journal anymore. Plus it had to be leather bound with graph paper inside -- my arthritis needs the guidance. And it had to lie flat and have a ribbon marker and a pocket folder. Took me a while."
Pictured on top of her old journal is Flann's new journal. A perfect size -- 240 pages -- complete with graph paper, ribbon marker and pocket folder. It was sad to depart with her old friend of more than five and a half years, but Flann is happy to have a new friend with whom she can travel. She's been traveling with these friends since 1973 (see photo below).
How about the rest of you? Do you keep a journal or writing tablet? Are you fussy about the paper and the binding? How about the pen you write with? If so, why? Please share so Flann doesn't feel like such a picky broad.
Exactly one year ago today -- February 19, 2009 -- the above headlines appeared in the exact same upper-right positions on the front pages of The Washington Post (left) and the Sassistas! hometown rag: The News Review (right):
Have some fun today! Let's teach the big-city press how to report the news that really matters to us!
Matissta thinks Sadie (above) -- the peppy Scottish terrier who was crowned Best in Show at the prestigious Westminster Kennel Club -- looks like a female Andy Rooney because of her eyebrows. Flannista thinks Sadie looks more like a female Charles Darwin, but only Jerseysista would know for sure. What about the rest of the sistas and mistas? What face do you see when you peer into those pretty eyes?
The Sassistas! watched the final night of the Westminster Dog Show with Jerseysista who knows as much about dogs as Flann knows about sipping tequila. Jersey not only knows a terrier when she sees one, but knows the difference between a Jack Russell terrier and a Boston terrier. Quite impressive. If you missed the show, click here to access the official website of the Westminster Kennel Club. Did you know that the final round of judging was disrupted when two female protesters strode out to the winner's circle and held up signs, including one reading, "Mutts rule," a reference to the "Dogs rule" ad campaign that ran throughout the competition. What's your opinion on that protest?
Last, we'd like to challenge the sassosphere to assign dog breeds to different sistas and mistas. For example, if Flannista and Matissta were dogs, what breed would they be, etc.? Also, please share your favorite dog stories or post your favorite photos.
Welcome to Annual Dog Day in the sassosphere!
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