Monster Jam!

Drum roll, please!  For the first time in the history of the sassosphere, the Sassistas! are tickled to death to acknowledge and thank babysis for dishing today's sass!

Fueling our anticipation on the way to Monster Jam, the local rock station cues up Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold,” a fitting mood setter for the crowd we will spend the next several hours with. We fork out $15 to park very near the Citrus Bowl, nestling our mini-van among RVs, Hummers, and pick-up trucks blasting train horns every 10 minutes or so.

Our first stop is the long line to ride in Blue Thunder, a monster truck replica of the original, with two bench seats lining the truck bed. There are seat belts and a roll cage, but if you’re over 36 inches tall, you can handle the figure eights and lots of noise.

Our next stop is the Pit Party, featuring all 14 trucks in tonight’s show. You shouldn’t touch, but you can get very close and take all the photos you want. This year we obtained seven driver autographs, adding to the value of our $10 Souvenir Yearbook.

Vendors offer food, drink, and merchandise, but we’ve come prepared. We eat our packed supper in the van, toss the football, listen to music, read, nap, or people watch. On this occasion, my observation shows more drunk rednecks prefer to make love, not war.

Around 7 pm, we walk to the stadium, where the sold-out crowd of over 60K is growing restless.  The National Anthem is sung by the winner of a radio competition, and the introductions begin.  All 14 trucks enter the stadium, engines roaring, and eventually position themselves around a giant oval, electrifying the crowd.  The noise is indescribable, but I called Flann and Matiss to give them the phone version.

The show lasts about three hours, and features racing and freestyle portions, with entertaining filler events of extreme moto-cross jumping and soccer mom minivan demo-cross (see photo left; note that the back of the green van on the far right says, "BABY ON BOARD"). One biker crash landed and had to be loaded into an ambulance, but he gave the universal thumbs-up symbol.  The minivan race had no rules to speak of, and the woman who won exclaimed, "That was the best feeling of my life!"

The final event is 90 seconds of a solo freestyle rampage by each monster truck.  The crowd favorite won convincingly, and is a true icon in the sport after 28 years of competition.  Dennis Anderson, the driver of Grave Digger, thanked the crowd for their faithful support over the years, and reminded us that a night with monster trucks gets your mind off the economy and your troubles.  We had to agree, and felt $104 for four tickets was time and money well spent.

What do you consider a good time for a great price?

To view a Youtube video of the 2009 "Air Force Afterburner Champion" click here.

Comments

[Flannista]

Reading this post was a good time for a great price. I could feel the mud in my face and the grit in my teeth, babysis.

GAWD BLESS AMERICA! And all the babies on board.

What's to say except (again, in my best Christopher Walken voice): "I gotta have more babysis!"

[Flannista]

Reading this reminded me a lot of the great fun the Sassistas! had at Cheyenne Frontier Days -- also a good time for a really great price (nowayasista paid for all the tickets). And I think I can up the sass a bit by sharing that the rodeo featured a booth where you could get free chewin' tobaccy, babysis.

Anything like that at Monster Jam?

Also a Coors Long Neck was the preferred rodeo beer. Wasn't Bud or even worse, Bud Light, the preferred beer at Monster Jam? I don't mean to be pretentious or anything, but adding Bud to performances of this caliber just brings down the artistry a bit, don't you think?

[Flannista]

babysis also provided all the photos featured and linked in the post. Took them herself.

And you must -- I mean MUST -- watch the Youtube video link at the end. WA-HOOOOOO! I can't wait to get out my Legos cars and trucks and toss them around.

My favorite line in this post: "On this occasion, my observation shows more drunk rednecks prefer to make love, not war."

You go, rednecks!

[Flannista]

Just got through TSA. I had to go through that x-Ray thingy twice as the alarm went off the first time. I was informed that I had taken the exit turn "too sharply". Made me think of Monster Jam.

Anyhoo, the Sassistas! can indeed verify that babysis called us during the program; further, we couldn't make out a word she said, but we could hear the roar of the engines and the road of the crowd -- in that order.

[Flannista]

I meant "roar" of the crowd, not "road" of the crowd in my last comment, but perhaps it was a Monster Jam slip, er, crash.

[Carolyn]

Babysis, I love this post. Great writing, great visuals, and plenty of fun facts about drunk rednecks. I can picture you, standing there, people watching and this story forming in your head.

Having young boys in the family will certain influence what cultural events you attend, won't it? At BH's birthday, one of the nephews was proudly sporting his lime-green 'Gravedigger' tee shirt, and talking about throwing up after eating a corn dog and cotton candy. But he spoke of it as one of the highlights of his young life.

More later. Someone wants me off this computer.

[nowayasista]

Yahoo!! Now this should in the Olympics. Great post covering a great American sporting event. Will have to make sure to add to the old menu of things to do this year. What Flann is not telling you is she was girl enough to try a sample from the Frontier Days chew tent.

Not sure the influence of young boys changes much with age. A loud engine and cold beer never lose their charm.

[babysis]

I'm thrilled to be reminded of this fun tradition of ours and thank the Sassistas! for letting me share it.

Wishing Flann good plane-ma, and I'll be checking in more today to see what other fun events I've been missing.

[half-a-sista]

Babysis, felt like I was there in the arena...good writing. I come from the country of tractor pulls although monster trucks certainly have made an appearance here...NASCAR too.

My sport is women's roller derby where the sound of the DJ rivals the noise at the NASCAR track and is confined to a closed space making the noise damage that much worse. Ah, but seeing those rockin' rollers slam into each other and the crowd makes the hearing loss not seem like such a bad thing.

Will have to find someone to go to a monster truck rally with. Sounds like fun...beer, rednecks, and love in an RV.

[Chrysosistah]

Excellent writing - Reminds me of weekends spent with my paternal cousins - all boys, and loved this sort of stuff. Glad everyone had such a good time!

[Jerseysista]

Reading this was pure entertainment. It reminded me of the roar and the crowds at local stock car races when I was young. Thee is something about participating in an loud good-time crowd , isn't there? Great story,babysis. Well told.

[PEACEsista]

Great post, babysis! Do your boys ever want to own one of them trucks?

I remember going to stock car races as a kid in northern Wisconsin. Entry fees were dirt cheap and actually, that's where you sat ... on the ground, on a hill beside the track. Seemed like the cars were beat-up Mustangs, Cameros, and other aged muscle cars and sedans of the day.

I remember that my favorite event, always held at the end of the night, was the demolition derby. It was not a race so much as an intentional car crash event. The last car still able to drive on the track wins.

[Jerseysista]

I remember those demolition derbies at the end of the races, too. I also remember french fries with salt and vinegar and noise so loud your ears would still be ringing on the ride home.

[Flannista]

Back in the sass, beloveds!

Isn't this a damn great post? I read it out loud to the driver of my car service on the way home from the airport, and he loved it, too.

I love this line from noway: "Not sure the influence of young boys changes much with age. A loud engine and cold beer never lose their charm." Maybe that's why I find noway so charming.

half-a: I would love to attend a women's roller derby with you. What could be more fun (outside of Monster Jam or love in an RV)?

Chryso -- you need to give us more details about weekends spent with your paternal cousins.

Jersey -- guess the next thing we do on a Friday night is a demolition derby. Actually, I can't think of where to go around here to see one, except for mall parking lots and navigating the piles of snow. Where do you see them as a kid? I didn't know about them where we grew up. I can see them in northern Wisconsin, where PEACE grew up, but not where we grew up.

Wait a minute . . . I'm remembering my last high school reunion. Never mind. Demolition derbies definitely fit in with that crowd and the sea of Bud Light I saw.

[Jerseysista]

Flann, if you want to see local stock car races and demolition derbies, there are places around. Part of the allure, though, is knowing the drivers, which my dad did. It gave us someone to root for.

[babysis]

Thanks so much for all the affirming comments. I'm glad it brought back memories for many of you of similar things. It wasn't a stretch for me to join my family the first time we did this, but I was surprised how much I grew to love it. I wish I was kidding when I say the roar of those engines can bring a tear to my eyes, but there's something about it. I've told Flann before the sound of my boys making truck noises from the earliest age is still one of the sweetest sounds I know. To answer PEACE's question, my youngest still says he wants to be a garbage truck driver, but is now adding monster trucks to his possible dream job list. He says he'd even love to work on a crew that maintains and repairs them. I'm just encouraging him to learn to change the oil on the family cars first.

[Matissta]

babysis, this is such a great post! Lots o' FUN! Thanks for agreeing to write and share it with us.

When I first read this, I laughed out loud about the "Baby on Board" sticker.

I have never seen a race involving cars live, only on TV.

As a kid, like PEACE, my favorite was the demolition derby. My brothers and I would watch together, select which car we thought was going to win, and then proceed to yell and scream at the TV rooting for our choice. (Of course, with the occasional wince when someone really got slammed.)

So you see I would fit in perfectly at the Monster Jam. And admittedly, after reading this post, I want to go to see one. Of course, you'd have to escort us because it's always better to have some one knowledgeable about the lay of the land. Also, to avoid the parts that aren't worth experiencing.

BTW, the music of Ted Nugent is a perfect selection to start up this night. Totally worth the money!

[Flannista]

Jersey, when I first read your 12:08 pm comment, I thought about that quote from Eleanor Roosevelt about doing the thing you fear the most (or something like that). I thought that perhaps my next career ought to be a demolition derby driver. A lot of you in the 'sphere seem to like the sport, so I would have backers/sponsors. Plus babysis' kids could maintain the vehicle. Whaddya think?

[Flannista]

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -- that's the exact Eleanor Roosevelt quote.

Don't you think that fits me and driving a Monster Jam vehicle?

[Matissta]

Flann, you already do drive in a demolition derby, so to speak...you drive The Beltway!

[Flannista]

Not if I can help it, Matissta! Why do you think I work at home?

[babysis]

Yes Matissta, I'd gladly escort you to any Monster Jam event, if you host me on a real tour of NYC one day.

Besides "Baby on Board," the minivans featured Muddigras, Crazy Cuban, and Bithlo Mud Racing signs. For all you animal lovers out there, you might have been offended by the deer head mounted on one roof, complete with arrow still making its mark (not Makers Mark).

[Flannista]

Sure it wasn't a SarcMark, babysis?

[Carolyn]

Undoubtedly Ted Nugent approved of the arrowed deer . . .

You brought a tear to the eye of BH, babysis, talking about your memory of your boys' truck noises. You know? I figured that our boys would adopt a "been there, done that" attitude about the Monster Truck experience, but that hasn't been the case. They're still enthusiastic attendees and tee-shirt wearers, so obviously the whole thing is still a cool event to them. Now that they compete in BMX races, and have acquired a skateboard, I sure do miss playing trucks with them. I'd make mud out've play-doh and we'd either get stuck or plow through it, depending on our planned scenario. Sometimes spiderman even showed up to pull us out of the mud with one of his webs. Fun.

Betterhalf and I would both show up to see you compete in the solo freestyle rampage, babysis (figuring you'd be too competitive for those soccer moms). I'd even wave one of those big foam fingers with your name on it. I see you in a big ole badass truck with "Sassistas" printed on the side, revving the engine, and slinging some mud.

[Flannista]

A "Sassistas!" freestyle rampage Monster Truck . . . hot damn -- I'd chew a big ol' wad of tobaccy to see babysis rev up in that thang. Might even take a swallow or two of Bud Light.