Readings

Yesterday marked the beginning of the 7th week of the year.  In January I read that most New Year's resolutions don't last beyond the first six weeks of the year.  I'm happy to report that I'm still sticking with my one small resolution which was to read the daily Bible lessons in the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer.

Every day, the Prayer Book assigns an Old Testament, New Testament and Gospel reading along with a couple of Psalms.  During the first six weeks of this year, I read the first 29 chapters of Genesis, Colossians and Hebrews and the first seven chapters of the Gospel of John.  My intention has been to read the assigned lessons the way I read any short story or poem: purely as literature.  Here's what I've learned:

• Genesis is filled with stories of people who deceive and/or are deceived. From the Garden of Eden to The Great Flood to Sodom and Gomorrah to Abraham and Sarah to Esau and Jacob -- chicanery and pretense abound.  Makes me feel a lot better about myself.  Also, in the past, I've given the Old Testament God a pretty bad rap, but during the past six weeks, She's struck me as more than patient. Never in my life would I have called the OT God tolerant.
• Hebrews is boring.  I didn't read the introduction to the book provided in my Bible, but Hebrews is all about Jesus being the High Priest for all or something.  Frankly, I forget.  But Chapters 11 and 12 really soared.  I don't have the Bible open in front of me, but I remember feeling comforted that I was surrounded by "a great cloud of witnesses" who somehow helped me run the race set before me (or something like that).  I felt like I wasn't duking out life alone. Also, the overwhelming message seeping through the New Testament seems to be about putting others before yourself. Does the thought of loving even strangers make you tired?  Don't read the New Testament.
• Jesus seems extraordinarily self-actualized.  He's always clear about who he is and doesn't make a big deal about it. He doesn't talk a whole lot, and seems to measure what he says.  He waits for his moment, and then usually makes it about what he can do for another person. He sets the bar very high which at times, made me not want to read any further.  Too much work, that love thing.
• The Psalms are some of the most beautiful poetry ever written. A nice bonus is that many of them contain verses you can say out loud to diss folks who are really pissing you off and you sound lordly while dissing them:  "Yes, let all who hope in You be not shamed.  Let the treacherous be shamed, empty-handed (Psalm 25:3)."  Right on.

Sometimes I scrawl a particularly interesting verse into my journal. Then I try and sit still, let it soak in, do its thing.  Most of the time, I pick up the binoculars on my desk and watch the birds at the feeders. I end by reading a poem or two in a couple books of poetry.  Here's the poem I read yesterday:

SOLUTION by Franz Wright

What is the meaning of kindness?

Speak and listen to others from now on,

as if they had recently died.

At the core the seen and unseen worlds are one.

Beautiful, wise words that I scrawled into my journal.

So how are the rest of you doing with your New Year's Resolutions?  And if you didn't make any, what book are you reading right now and/or what quote did you come across recently that gave you pause?  Gave you a clue about the meaning of kindness?

Comments

[Flannista]

From Joan Chittister's January 2010 "The Monastic Way" meditation:

*****
Time, the American assumes, is for doing something, for producing things, for achieving goals. And in our commitment to pragmatism and effectiveness, we far too often fail to realize that life is really about becoming a person of merit and worth.

As another year begins, it might be useful to take a moment a day to give more serious consideration to what we are becoming rather than to what we are doing as time goes by.
*****

[Flannista]

"Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (Col. 3:14)

[Flannista]

"Again and again throughout his writings, Kierkegaard repeats the basic formula of faith: one is a creature who can do nothing, but one exists over against a living God for whom 'everything is possible.'"

-- From The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker

[Flannista]

"Mere breath all humankind." (Psalm 39:12b)

[Chrysosistah]

Interesting choice for Mardi Gras ;-) No, I didn't make resolutions for New Year's, as I felt like I already had quite enough to be going on with. However, I have started this week researching potential new jobs - feel like I'm going mad doing the same thing in isolation for 18 months now. I am grateful to have a job, of course. But this one's making me batty. Once I sort out a new position, can make positive movement in other arenas.

Can't think of any quotes recently read - but you have a lovely selection already here!

[Flannista]

I didn't remember that it was Mardi Gras until I read your comment, Chryso. I knew tomorrow was Ash Wednesday, but didn't take the leap backwards to Mardi Gras. Let's just say that Matissta and had our Mardi Gras a couple of days early. I'm feeling a lot better this morning. Don't know about Matiss, but she'll chime in once she gets to work and has a moment on a computer with a reliable internet connection.

Seems to me you posted some quote in a comment during the past week or so, Chryso -- that is tied to your new job endeavors now. I knew your job was irritating at times, but didn't realize that you were "going mad doing the same thing in isolation for 18 months."

Good for you for your readings on other job prospects.

[Flannista]

Today's poem:

THE LIGHTEST TOUCH
by David Whyte

Good poetry begins with
the lightest touch,
a breeze arriving from nowhere,
a whispered healing arrival,
a word in your ear,
a settling into things,
then, like a hand in the dark,
it arrests the whole body,
steeling you for revelation.

In the silence that follows
a great line,
you can feel Lazarus,
deep inside
even the laziest, most deathly afraid
part of you,
lift up his hands and walk toward the light.
*****

[Flannista]

The Old Testament Lesson for today was verses from Proverbs. Check this one out:

"Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming,
but who is able to stand before jealousy?" (Proverbs 27:4)

Damn, that's wise.

[Justista]

"Revelations of the hidden distortions, the cripple under the veils of civilization, the mind breaking under the strain, and the heart atrophying in its insulation---those were the intimate memories of my life until I came to Taos where I was offered and accepted a spiritual therapy that was cleansing, one that provided a difficult and painful method of curing me of my epoch and that finally rewarded me with a sense of reality." MABEL DODGE LUHAN

I resolve to be cured of my epoch. Justista

[Flannista]

Damn, that's wise, too, Justista. Thanks so much for sassing in.

Is this quote from Luhan's book, Edge of Taos Desert? I have it, haven't read it. Better go dust it off.

I continue to stand on your shoulders.

[PEACEsista]

"The physicians are the natural attorneys of the poor, and the social problems should largely be solved by them." -- Rudolf Virchow

I'm reading "Mountains Beyond Mountains," a book about Dr. Paul Farmer's work to establish health care for the poorest people in Haiti, in the 1980's and '90's. His work continues, of course, because they are still among the poorest people in the world ... especially now. It's both a sobering and inspiring read, all at the same time. I can't help but wonder what I am really doing with my life after reading about Farmer's.

[Flannista]

This is not the first time you have referenced this book, PEACEsista. The book is by Tracy Kidder, no? I remember the wonderful review it got in the New York Times. Another book to add to my Amazon Wish List.

Just so you know, over the past months, reading how you've been shepherding your church and standing next to Suzanne, a lot of us began to wonder what we were really doing with our lives.

[Chrysosistah]

Boy, completely stumped, can't think of the quote you mention, Flannista. Was reminded of this song, however, the other day, which did ring quite true for me....

Then the rainstorm came, over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my, belief you see
And realized my mistake
But time through a prayer, to me... See More
And all around me became still

I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

And a hearty "second" to Flannista's response to PEACE. It's humbling to read of the great work you have been doing in Wyoming...

[Justista]

Flann: quote is from Mabel Dodge Luhan: "New Woman, New Worlds" have read only pieces of it. "The physicians are the natural attorneys for the poor . . ." -- I like that.

PEACE: you are a good woman.

[Matissta]

Flann, I thought that this was an incredibly thoughtful post. I also commend you on sticking to your resolution.

I didn't make any resolution and for the most part don't. Now I wish I had, because I look back on this year so far and it seems as if so much time has past already without much to speak of. I'm sure the weather had some impact on my overall perspective, or lack thereof.

As for reading, at the moment, nothing truly jumps out at me. I'm sure there is something that I've come across, but sadly I can't think of it now. I should pay closer attention to words that make me think. But maybe again, that's the point of the post...

[Westsista]

My resolutions are just the ongoing ones in my life. Write. Listen. Change the World. Make My Life Suck Less. Get a Job. That's the general idea. No, not going all that well so far.

[PEACEsista]

Oh, thank you all ... how kind. I do know that I work to make a difference in my little corner of the world, but some people live so much larger in it, don't they? I am sure there are trade-offs. I think Farmer lives away from his family much of the time in order to do what he does in the world.

In January, I resolved to learn more about Haiti and to find a way to be helpful. I want to participate (even if from afar) in their continued recovery. I am not ready to forget the devastation and move on.

[PEACEsista]

Oh, West, we posted at the same time. Keep writing. I'm listening. I am very, very sorry that it is not going all that well for you so far this year.

[Flannista]

Yep, Justista . . . PEACE is indeed a good woman.

Matissta, darlin' -- don't be so hard on yourself. First of all, during these blizzards, you've been cooped up in a small house with a big dog whose large ears have chronic allergies. You've gotten up to walk him early in the morning, risking life and limb over ice and snow. You're a devoted caregiver. And not just to him.

I called you a couple of hours ago from the post office, complaining how long it took to find a parking space ANYwhere, whether there or at the grocery store or the pet store. Your immediate response was: "I'm so sorry you have to run our errands by yourself." I was so touched by that response. Thank you.

Hey Westsista: girlfriend can write. Hang in there. Your "Meet the Sass" post for tomorrow is dy-NO-mite! I can't wait to publish it.

[Jerseysista]

I did not make a New Year's resolution. I usually don't. Actually, I don't know if I ever have.

My reading, as of late, has been history, science, poetry. Nothing recent sticks out as having made me pause but there has been much that makes me think. For instance I have been reading about the to-do raised in the late 1700's over the invention of hot air and helium balloons. It's hard to imagine from our perspective in an age of flight, what it must have been like to see a person soar above ground for the very first time.

[Flannista]

You always have interesting books out and about at your house, Jersey. And what you remember in them is always fascinating to me, e.g., for example, the to-do over the invention of the hot air and helium balloons you mention in your above comment. I've spent the last few minutes trying to imagine what it might have been like to see a person soar above ground for the very first time . . . and I'm wondering if the equivalent for us was Neil Armstrong walking on the moon.

Or being able to buy Maker's Mark in those really huge bottles.

[Jerseysista]

Well, I have to admit the Maker's Mark bottles was not the first thing that came to my mind. Blanton's probably would have come to mind sooner for me, but I do have to say that the moon landing was the thing that I thought came closest to the excitement that those balloon spectacles were for people back then. They actually had a crowd of 250,000 watch the first launching in Paris and similar crowds all over England.

[Flannista]

For Christmas, Matissta gave me Both Ways is the Only Way I Want It -- a collection of short stories by Maile Meloy that was named by the New York Times Book Review as one of the Top Five fiction books of last year.

I read it over the first six weeks of the year. Loved it. Meloy is an American realist, who chronicles the intimate and the domestic; namely ordinary folks who want to have things both ways. Here's the ending of the story, "The Children" -- a husband can't decide between his wife and his mistress:

*****
He was doomed to ambivalence and desire. A braver man, or a more cowardly man, would simply flee. A happier or more complacent man would stay and revel in the familiar, wrap it around him, and could only deceive the people he loved, and then disappoint and worry them when they saw through him. There was a poem Meg [his daughter] brought home from college, with the line, "Both ways is the only way I want it." The force with which he wanted it both ways made him grit his teeth. What kind of fool wanted it only one way?

It had started to grow dark, on the deck. The stars were impossibly clear. The bats were out in force. He held his wife and felt anchored to everything that was safe and sure, and kept for himself the knowledge of how quickly he could let go and drift free.
*****

One of the best volumes of short stories I've ever read. Thanks, Matissta.

[Flannista]

250,000 people to watch a balloon take off? That's incredible. I love that fact. Don't know why. Just do.

[Flannista]

Speaking of soaring, in January Jerseysista completely her holiday gift to me. I had asked her to write up a rationale for why it was time to declare my independence from my parents. She formally gave it to me on January 26th, and I have read it several times since then.

It is a cogent, clear, generous gift of love. I shared it with a few people who have been offering advice on the liturgy I am writing (now in a 5th draft) to declare my independence from my parents. After reading it, Charlissta said, "I have never heard the prophetic voice more clearly." My therapist said, "In your family of choice, you have chosen well. You have freed yourself -- you are now more than a survivor -- you are the victor!"

The line that continues to bring a tear to my eyes when I read Jersey's gift is this one: "Flannista, you are the friend of all my years."

So simple. So beautiful. Thank you, Jersey.