2010 Oscar Red Carpet

DAHLINKS! 

Edna here to offer her unique opinions on the 2010 Oscar fashions.  Let me start, dahlinks . . . please do not interrupt . . . with a general statement that Oscar fashion was a bit boring, certainly not DARING, for Edna; after all, Alexander McQueen is no longer with us (may he rest in peace).  That being said, let Edna say that metallics were one of the biggest trends of the night, alongside pastel pinks and off white.  Also, nary a shoulder was covered, with our celebs favoring strapless or one-shoulder gowns.

Sandra, such a pretty girl.  Too boring.  Too Oscar (as in statuette).  And honey, a little curl to that whirl.  A little dip will do ya (and I'm not referring to your husband).  Sarah Jessica: half-a-sista was right.  That looks like a car grill on your bosom. I'm hoping it was a Bentley that bent you.  Cameron: thankfully you can dress.  Next goal: mastering the teleprompter.  Miley: stand up straight, dahlink!  If you collapse any more, you'll be Britney Spears career.

Charlize: Cinnabon called and wants its pastries back.  Zoe Something from "Avatar" -- four words from Jerseysista:  "wine-soaked dust bunnies."  Mariah: someday you'll be a mother and regret that outfit. Carey -- thankfully you are young.  You have time to grow into your earrings.

Maggie: perhaps you did not read the invitation clearly.  This was not a luau.  Mo'nique: GENIUS!  I loved your tribute to Hattie McDaniel.  Penelope -- you have a style all your own; like buttah.  Vera: Ruffles have ridges and apparently, beet juice.

  

Queen: I bow to you.  Jeff and wife: I have a crazy heart for you.  Robert Downey, Jr.: you need another rehab . . . as in fashion rehab.  While there, call Dr. Seuss.  Tell him, "No more gowns for the wife."  Oh, the places you'll go!

My favorite foursome of the evening.  Ladies, you are ALL winners.  You are SO on target with these gun-metal dresses.  Dahlinks, you hit me with your best shot!  Ouch! BULLS-EYE!  Hit me again!

What did you think, dahlinks?  Let Edna know!

Comments

[Flannista]

DAHLINKS!

Edna here, who was a bit tired last evening when I wrote this post (l must pause for a moment and thank Matiss for compiling these images. MWWAAA, dahlink). All to say . . . I don't feel that I have quite landed on the precise line for the dress Robert Downey, Jr.'s wife was wearing (end right, fourth row of images above), even though I meant what I said and said what I meant.

Please help. Also, please offer other opinions, though I am aware how difficult it is to match my genius.

Also, feel free to ask Edna any other fashion question. After all, doesn't the whole world ask "WWED"?

[Flannista]

Jerseysista sent this image to Edna with the message that she had finally figured out what inspired the dress Zoe Something from "Avatar" was wearing:

http://www.sassistas.com/sassistas_our_dish_on_the/2010/09/vegetable.jpg

[Flannista]

Zoe Something from "Avatar" -- did you drag along Barney the purple dinosaur as your date?

[Flannista]

A close-up of Carey Mulligan's earrings:

http://www.sassistas.com/sassistas_our_dish_on_the/2010/09/earrings.jpg

Caption, please.

[half-a-sista]

Caption for Carey Mulligan picture: "I was too cheap to buy the matching necklace."

Or, "I'm not wearing a necklace because I didn't want to wear too much jewelry.

Or, "I think the earrings say it all."

Miley Cyrus needs to stand up straight in that dress. It will look much nicer on her and she will look more grown up.

Edna, so good to know that you are still doing well. That fashion show in Davenport, Iowa for fashion week must require lots of your energy. Where can we expect to see your line premiere?

And how about the duplicate J-Lo dress? I notice that you didn't mention that Oscar fashion faux pas. The same dress on the red carpet.

The tribute to Hattie McDaniel passed way over my head. I couldn't get past the idea that the material would snap being stretched over that much flesh as it appears to have been. The cut of the dress did nothing for Mo'nique and made a big, beautiful woman look like someone had spent hours zipping her up in that thing.

Queen Latifah's dress was too wrinkled. She can be drop dead gorgeous in the right outfit. She should have had the dress pressed.

That dress of Robert Downey Jr.'s wife made me stop and do a double-take, but I liked it after the initial shock wore off. She looks like a lamp base that a friend's mother had in her living room in the late 1960's. Like Robert's whimsical outfit. Men wear boring things to the Oscars usually.

[Flannista]

half-a: DAHlink!

Zank you so much for asking about my Davenport, Iowa haute couture line or as they say in Iowa, "hot corndog" line. I must keep it under wraps (like Mo'nique's Oscar dress), but will let you know at a moment's notice when I am ready to reveal my genius to the world.

I don't think Queen Latifah could fit a steam iron into her handbag, half-a. I must disagree with you and insist that she looks drop dead gorgeous in this ensemble.

Edna simply LOVES, "she looks like a lap base that a friend's mother had in her living room in the late 1960's." Brilliant, dahlink.

[half-a-sista]

Edna, please look again at those "I slept in this dress" wrinkles. really.

Read a list that placed Mariah Carey in the Top Ten Best Dressed list. The person commented that Mariah usually wears a dress that shows too much skin, but this one didn't. Huh! Did he see her stick that leg out of that slit that, had a wind blown off the Pacific Ocean we could have seen her bikini wax line?

[half-a-sista]

But, then again, maybe he didn't make it south of her bodacious tatas. "Hello, Nurse!!!" as the Yakko and Wakko always said on Animaniacs.

[half-a-sista]

Liked Sandra Bullock's dress, but the dress, hair and makeup didn't look good in combination. The red lipstick drained her face of any color and seemed garish to me. Gray is not a flattering color on most people who don't have blonde or grey or silver hair. Too much heavy metal this year.

[Flannista]

It goes without saying (but Edna cannot help herself), that Mariah Carey's dress did not make MY Top Ten Best Dressed list. And Edna has no interest in seeing this much of her, let alone her bikini wax line. And what is that thing holding up her dress -- one of Carey Mulligan's earrings?

[Flannista]

Here is J-Lo's Oscar dress:

http://www.sassistas.com/sassistas_our_dish_on_the/2010/09/jenniferlopezoscars.jpg

She should have placed a tray on that thing affixed to her dress and served everyone champagne. Or is R2D2 underneath that thing? Yes, the force is with him.

[Flannista]

Matissta, Jerseysista, Sassley and Flann watched the red carpet festivities together and when the very gay fashion expert on "E!" first saw J-Lo's dress, we swear we witnessed him transform into a straight man right before our eyes. It was stunning, really, as we actually detected drool in the right corner of his mouth.

Then Ryan Reynolds arrived and all went back to as it should be.

[babysis]

Caption for Carey's close up:
"This is the technique I previously used to get these dimples."

Edna, I agree with everything you said, dahlink, but half-a is so right about that wrong lipstick color on Sandra.

I'll be back this afternoon.

[Matissta]

J-Lo's dress worked well with her figure. With that growth on the side, no one noticed her booty.

Sandra has a great figure. She should have worn something a bit younger to show it off. The dress seemed too matronly for her.

Kate Winslet and Helen Mirren are consistently good dressers. Very elegant.

[Jerseysista]

Edna, so glad you are back. What great sass. Tell me Edna, doesn't that dress that Robert Downey's wife is wearing look a bit like those Chinese finger cuffs? http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1301/1176776529_e06d7199db.jpg?v=0

[Flannista]

Matissta, dahlink . . . you think Kathyn Bigelow wore gun-metal because she directed a war film?

And yes, Kate and Helen are consistently good dressers, speaking of which, I'd like little statuettes of both of them on top of my dresser . . . or car dashboard next to Jesus.

[Flannista]

DAHLINK, JERSEYSISTA!

Edna seldom laughs out loud, but the link in your 9:54 comment is GENIUS! And that's her husband wrestling with it while he was in rehab, no?

[Jerseysista]

I really like J-Lo's dress. I thought it was one of the best of the evening. But, I do see how some might think it was a coy way of having enough Kleenex at hand when those evening bags are so small.

[Flannista]

Actually, Edna thinks Downey Jr.'s wife rolled out one of these things and then got the person who wrapped Mo'Nique to wrap her:

http://mexico.phillipmartin.info/mexico_clothes_s.gif

[Flannista]

Jersey -- J-Lo's dress is, "a coy way of having enough Kleenex at hand"?

Hell, it's a brilliant way of having enough toilet paper at hand.

[Flannista]

Caption, please, for Hilary Swank's 2010 "After-Oscar" party dress:

http://www.sassistas.com/sassistas_our_dish_on_the/2010/09/deep_v.jpg

[Matissta]

Caption for Hilary Swank's dress:

"I'd like to plunge THAT neckline."

[half-a-sista]

Caption for Hilary Swank's dress:

Boys, don't cry!

Caption: I got this diamond necklace in New Orleans when I flashed my boobies. Got any beads? I'll flash you.

Caption: If I take off this big ass sash, you can see how low the slit goes.

Caption: Before

Picture of Mariah Carey caption: After

Caption under all photos and captions: Breast enhancement can change the world looks at you. For your free consultation, call Dr. New Jersey who also does butt enhancements.

[Flannista]

Fess up, sistas and mistas . . . how many of you -- when you saw Charlize's dress -- thought about what Otto, the autopilot in "Airplane!" does shortly after this still from the movie?

http://www.sassistas.com/sassistas_our_dish_on_the/2010/09/airplane-autopilot.jpg

I'd post the specific image, but I can't find it ANYwhere.

[Flannista]

Dahlink, half-a! Edna LOVES the caption: "Boys, don't cry!" Also the "Before" and "After" captions: GENIUS!

Given that he also does butt enhancements, we can assume that Dr. New Jersey designed J-Lo's Oscar gown?