Last week, Flannista attended a company annual meeting that in more profitable times was one of the highlights of the year for its associates. Alas, the meeting budget was slashed to a shadow of its former self as you can see for yourself in the photo of the stage above. In previous years, rented luscious ferns and other potted plants adorned the stage and podium. What's more, the podium proudly displayed the company logo. The meeting always opened with a fun video featuring the associates and closed with a delicious buffet lunch.
This year, a photo slide-presentation of associates played while associates made their way to round tables, atop of which were pitchers of ice water and lemonade as well as a small tray of cheese and crackers garnished with fruit. The powers-that-be knew that the meeting itself would be difficult as they had recently informed associates that they would not be getting their pay raises or bonuses. Also, 2009 had produced two rounds of lay-offs. How could associates be enticed to come and listen to executive perspectives on the achievements of 2009 and the goals of 2010?
The enticement is contained in the two white plastic bags to the right of the podium above. What's the bonus in the bags? If you guess, the Sassistas! will award you with the EXACT SAME BONUS!
In the meantime, do you attend and/or have you ever attended company annual meetings? What was your experience? Potted plants or no potted plants? Ice water in pitchers or bottled water? Let us know.
Did each associate get one of those white (classy), plastic, (environmentally friendly) bags? Or did TRM begin to distribute the contents of said bags and magically produce enough to gift each attendee?
Posted by: Carolyn | March 11, 2010 at 06:34 AM
Very savvy questions, Carolyn. You must have read Nancy Drew growing up or perhaps watch a lot of CSI shows today.
No, each associate did NOT get individual classy white, environmentally-friendly plastic bags. TRM distributes nothing except (perhaps) shareholder dividends, his weight and occasional wisdom. However, the contents of said bags magically produced a gift for each of the 400+ attendees and were distributed by two members of TRM's internal communications department.
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 06:46 AM
Before the Sassistas! get a lot of flak -- we acknowledge that in lean times, company annual meetings ought to be lean. No potted plants, no lunch (though the executives got one) and no team-building videos. You don't have to convince us of that.
The point of the post is this: What's the purpose of annual meetings other than for executives to be in front of (not among) the masses once a year? And what's in the bags to the right of the podium?
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 06:49 AM
Betterhalf has received innumerable tchotchkes through the years. We say key chains, shot glasses, golf towels, bandanas, pens (all items with logo) . . . .
I'm not really corporate savvy, but I think that the last thing that needs to be regarded as expenditure "fat" is a simple luncheon for employee recognition.
Posted by: Carolyn | March 11, 2010 at 07:17 AM
I agree with you about the simple luncheon, Carolyn. To be fair, the last 30 minutes of the three-hour meeting recognized associate achievement and approximately 8 awards were distributed to deserving associates, including two for community service.
Still, the spotlight was mostly on executives.
Tchotchkes are a good guess. Keep 'em coming.
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 07:28 AM
. . . a yo-yo for each employee!
Posted by: Carolyn | March 11, 2010 at 08:05 AM
Yo-yo's would certainly symbolize a year full of ups and downs.
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 08:16 AM
One "fat" year we had our annual managers meeting in Mexico. This year, Toronto, in January. Think we got a deal on rooms?
In the bag . . . not enough room for sweaters or hats. Perhaps something made out of recycled annual reports.
Posted by: nowayasista | March 11, 2010 at 08:23 AM
Mexico? Toronto?
You managers leave GOD-BLESS-AMERICA for your annual meeting? You fatten the coffers of foreign governments? Say it ain't so, noway. Say no way!
"Recyled annual reports." Clever guess, noway, but no cigar. And no shot of good single-malt scotch.
Guess again.
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 08:29 AM
Well, I was going to say a small Bible ... the kind the Gideon's give out for free ... but I don't think they'd fit in those bags. So, maybe a keychain flashlight, so that employees may shine (and continue to be productive at their desks even during a power outage).
Posted by: PEACEsista | March 11, 2010 at 09:38 AM
What's in the bags:
Hershey's Hugs, because Kisses would remind associates of what they have to kiss to stay employed or what they kiss when they get let go.
Posted by: babysis | March 11, 2010 at 09:39 AM
A small Bible -- another savvy guess, PEACE, but alas, no blessing.
Keychain flashlight because "the word of the Lord is a light upon my path." Another savvy guess, but no blessing, even though many employees do stay and work until the wee hours of the morning.
babysis -- VERY savvy guess. But don't you think anything with the words "Hugs" or "Kisses" would veer toward inappropriate sexual innuendo? Also the name "Hershey" is very, very female. All of the executives featured on stage at the meeting were white males. "Hershey" would send an inconsistent message.
Keep guessing.
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 09:51 AM
Small mirrors: So the associates don't forget "who they are."
Posted by: babysis | March 11, 2010 at 09:54 AM
I was gonna guess $5 gift cards to somewhere: Starbucks, 4Rivers, McDonalds, etc. but that'd be $2K for 400 employees, or "too pricey."
Posted by: babysis | March 11, 2010 at 09:58 AM
Business cards for an outsourcing firm?
Posted by: Chrysosistah | March 11, 2010 at 10:06 AM
Oh, wait...based on your reply to Babysis's Hershey Hugs guess, they didn't have their name emblazoned on candy for the employees, did they?
Should at least provide a pinata to smash if that's all...
Posted by: Chrysosistah | March 11, 2010 at 10:08 AM
Damn, girlfriends, these are ALL excellent guesses. I laughed out loud at "mirrors" and "business cards for an outsourcing firm." Funny stuff.
The pinata reference was priceless, too.
Yes, $5 gift cards would be "too pricey," babysis.
Keep guessing.
And to keep the sass rolling, guess ANYthing -- the more outrageous, the more you'll make the sassosphere laugh and isn't that a great bonus that costs absolutely nuthin'?
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 10:15 AM
Condoms with the corporate logo.
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 10:15 AM
Pocket size employee directories (newly revised).
Posted by: babysis | March 11, 2010 at 10:35 AM
Monster truck erasers (always a great gift).
Posted by: babysis | March 11, 2010 at 10:36 AM
Copy of the "Manhattan Declaration" or whatever it's called.
Posted by: babysis | March 11, 2010 at 10:38 AM
Damn, you're hot today, babysis.
Yes, that document is called the "Manhattan Declaration." Nope, not in the plastic bags, though it should be in the garbage.
Wow -- I bet the associates WISH their little-extra-somethings HAD been Monster truck erasers, but alas, you can erase that guess.
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 11:02 AM
I'm guessing these were in the bags:
http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/browse/processRequest.do?demandPrefix=15&sku=24/591&prodCatId=90000&mode=Browsing&erec=6&sp=false&Ntk=all&mr=BS_Easter&Ntx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&N=90000+1232&tabId=5&requestURI=processProductsCatalog&in_merch=1&sd=Easter+Inspirational+Friendship+Bracelets
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 11:04 AM
Or these sweet, inspirational treats:
http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/browse/processRequest.do?demandPrefix=11&productId=IN-36/521&mode=Browsing&requestURI=processProductsCatalog&xsaleSku=24/591&sku=36/521&cm_sp=Cross%20Sell-_-Product%20Detail-_-Product%20Detail
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 11:05 AM
A copy of this book for each round table. A dozen associates have to share one copy:
http://www.amazon.com/Working-You-Isnt-Me-Ultimate/dp/1591842751/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268323586&sr=8-1
Posted by: Flannista | March 11, 2010 at 11:07 AM