One Size Does Not Fit All

As an official Maker's Mark Ambassador, Flannista receives a special holiday gift from the bourbon manufacturer every holiday season. Yesterday, Flann received (rather late, don't you think?) her holiday gift for 2011: my very own Maker's Mark bottle sweater. Look at the above image and the one below. What's the difference? And what should Flann do about it?

Comments

[treesta]

Stuff yours and make it into a Christmas ornament, Flann. Or better yet, put it on top of your tree in place of the star.

[Flannista]

What's parTICularly insulting to me (in addition to this gift arriving AFTER the holidays) is that it was made to fit the smallest size Maker's Mark bottle. No self-respecting Ambassador ever buys anything less than the 1.75-liter size.

It's really insulting. I'm embarrassed that I had a barrel named after me.

[Flannista]

Maker's Mark is ALSO assuming that Ambassadors have only ONE bottle of Maker's Mark in their homes.

So much about this is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

[Flannista]

The top image in this post is the card that accompanied the sweater. The back says this:

*****
Greetings, Ambassadors! Here's hoping your 2011 holidays will be excessively merry and bright.

Enclosed you'll find your very own Maker's Mark bottle sweater. It's the perfect way to who off your true feelings for the holidays and your favorite bourbon. Display it prominently and you'll find it's a great conversation started for large parties and small gatherings alike.

So enjoy spreading some holiday cheer this season. As always we thank you for your passion and support for Maker's Mark.

Warm holiday wishes to all.
Bill Smanuels, Hr.
Ambassador-At-Large
*****

If Samuels identifies himself as "Ambassador-At-Large", why don't these sweaters come in large? What? I'm the 99%?

[Matissta]

Actually Flann, I was thinking that you wouldn't be happy until you were given a Marker's Mark sweater that would fit you. And then I read your comment.

[Flannista]

That would have been the best way to demonstrate gratitude to a Maker's Mark Ambassador, Matiss. Like my 801's, I would have never taken it off.

Again -- so much wrong about this.

[PEACEsista]

Flann: Maker's Mark heard about the 801's. All the other Ambassadors got a sweater they could wear.

[Flannista]

Et tu, PEACEsista?

I should have told them about the deerskin slippers noway gifted Matiss and I with for the holidays. I woulda gotten a sweater I could wear AND free Maker's Mark for the rest of my life.

[Flannista]

In her 5:39 a.m. comment, treesta had a reasonable idea about what I could do with the sweater I received. Any other ideas out there?

[PEACEsista]

I would get one of those little bottles it's supposed to fit and gift it to someone else in 2012, as a host/ess gift ... so that if they don't have your drink of choice on hand, they'll crack it open for you.

[Flannista]

Sasspired, PEACEsista . . . and challenging. You are actually sassgesting that I gift Maker's Mark to SOMEONE other than me? I guess that's what true charity is all about. I'm going to have to pray about it. There's sacrifice and then there's sacrifice.

[half-a-sista]

Flann, the bottle sweater fits the larger size is you just pull down hard enough on the sweater. You wouldn't want an oversized sweater for your 10.5-liter bottle, would you?

I think the gift is lovely and coming after the holidays makes it so much more special because it doesn't get lost in the excessive number of gifts you receive before and on the holiday. Tell the truth now. Didn't the gift come at a time when you hadn't received a gift for a couple of days? Smart marketing.

[half-a-sista]

And, if you need someone to gift with the "appropriately sized" bottle of Maker's Mark and the gift sweater, plesae consider sending one to PEACE first (because she suggested it) and me second (because I love the idea of a bottle sweater).

[half-a-sista]

And, the Maker's Mark people would not give you FREE alcohol for life because they know they would go belly up...sweater or no sweater.

[half-a-sista]

One last comment before I retire to the backyard to begin grooming it for spring.

The new politically correct way of saying, "One size fits all" is "One size fits most." I'm sure it's changed because of all the lawsuits people have filed when the "one size fits all" didn't.

[Matissta]

"In her 5:39 a.m. comment, treesta had a reasonable idea about what I could do with the sweater I received. Any other ideas out there?"

Oh I have a suggestion, but I wouldn't call it "reasonable". "Obvious" does come to mind.

[Matissta]

Flann I must admit, I'm disappointed in you. You thought the sweater should be for you. However, you are not the only one who lives in the household.

It IS the purrfect size for Scout! I think your girl has earned it. Plus it would look stunning on her lean body. Imagine the statement she will make.

[babysis]

I think it's cute. Buy one of those small bottles and keep it warm instead of it keeping you warm. The brilliance of the gift is they do want you to buy yet another bottle because they KNOW you don't have one this size.

[Flannista]

Am in the middle of mile five.

Am I the most naive broad in the 'sphere because I have no idea what is the "obvious" use for this sweater? Am I embarrassing myself again, Matiss?

[Matissta]

Maybe it was only "obvious" to me. I don't want to announce what my thought was...

[Flannista]

Whisper it to me later, Matiss.

[Flannista]

half-a: a 10.5 liter bottle of Maker's Mark -- could there be anything better or more holy?

[Flannista]

Is it just me or does the little sweater on a large bottle of Maker's Mark make it look like Mrs. Butterworth?

[Matissta]

I thought the same thing!

[Flannista]

We were meant to be together, Matiss.