« Vows | Main | Remind Me »

August 17, 2012

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Flannista

Flanny is serious about taking your questions.

PEACEsista

Dear Flanny,

It's 40 degrees this morning and even though I closed the windows last night to keep the cold out, the furnace came on this morning. The furnace ... in August. Anticipating a LONG cold winter, I am contemplating a tropical vacation. Please, Flanny, what would you sassgest for a get-away?

Flannista

PEACEsista -- before Flanny answers your 8:21 a.m. question, she's curious to know if her response to your belated on-line birthday celebration request was satisfactory.

Will Never Be Able to Retire

Dear Flanny,

I want to be a good American AND a good Christian. Yesterday I learned that the presumptive Republican nominee for President, Mitt Romney has always paid at least 13% of his annual income in taxes. Since 1984, I've paid an average of 40% of my annual income. I don't want to be "small-minded" and/or judge anyone, but something about this doesn't seem fair. What should I do?
Signed, Will Never Be Able to Retire

PEACEsista

Dear Flanny,

Thank you for your kind reply to my birthday question. I was amused that you cited the nation's holidays which are not changed for convenience, because the celebration of MLK's birthday and the President's birthdays have been moved to a Monday. It appears that there is a evidence even in the nation for moving a birthday celebration!

I, of course, am grateful that the Sassistas can accommodate. I would hate to miss the sassabration!

Flannista

PEACEsista -- while pondering a response to your belated birthday question, I did take into consideration MLK's and the President's birthdays, which, as you have pointed out, have been moved to accommodate the citizens of a nation. I ought to have said so, parTICularly as it makes an even stronger case for celebrating your birthday belatedly on a Monday. As a great American citizen and kind soul, you deserve a Monday celebration along with these other more-famous, but not any-more-deserving citizens.

PEACEsista

Dear WNBATR:

WWJD about retirement? He'd work for nothing and give away all of His income (if He had any) to the poor and therefore would probably not pay any taxes. He'd trust the Lord to provide. Also, He might turn-over a few tables, but otherwise would probably avoid partisan politics.

Flannista

Dear PEACEsista,

In response to your 8:21 a.m. query about a tropical get-away, let me begin by expressing my apologies that winter is just around the corner in your neck of the woods. It's hard for me to take in a furnace blasting on in August and when I first read that in your query, I laughed. Surely this can't be true, I thought and then I remembered that your name isn't Shirley . . . all to say that perhaps you need to go to a place where you can relax AND laugh.

So I think you ought to consider an uncharted desert isle to make your tropic island nest for a bit, but that you ought not to be there alone. Nowayasista will accompany you, of course, but I think you'll need Gillian, the Skipper too, the millionaire and his wife, the movie star, the professor and Mary Ann on your vacation in Gilligan's Isle. Just think: no phone, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury. Like Robinson Crusoe, as primative as can be. In other words, no furnace.
Bon voyage! Flanny

frida

Dear Flanny, a fan would like to know how you are...

Flannista

Dear frida,

Thanks for passing along the question from a "fan" about how Flanny is, though I am assuming the fan is you.

I find myself in a quiet place these days, so don't have much to say. Many folks find this a gift. My physical health seems good -- I have my annual physical on Monday. I work out every day, either walking or trotting between 4.2 and 5.4 miles.

Mentally, I still struggle with fear (of most everything) more than I'd like to and professionally, things seem stable. I have one new client after 7 months of looking. At one time, I had at least one new client a month. I think I am finally at peace that I hit my professional peak in 2005. I do have the sense, however, that I have not peaked creatively, which is inspiring, though I know that I will undoubtedly never make one red cent on my own creative endeavors if this blog is any indication.

Spiritually, I spend more time reading poetry than I do any other religious texts. I am still "de-churched" (barista's term) because I can't seem to find any place of worship that has beautiful liturgy, beautiful music, no sermon and weekly celebrates the eucharist. I have no need for clergy.

That's off the top of my head. Speaking of that, my hair is now a wild combination of blue, purple and red. I made a little extra income last month and told my hair stylist, Miss Thing, that I missed the color. She responded, "I got you covered." And she did, literally. I've never seen so many heads turn when folks see me. Like my wind-up teeth, my hair is doing all the talkin' for me because I'm just not into it all that much these days.

Again, thanks for asking. The Sassistas! need to break bread with you and your beloved sometime soon. Love, Flanny

Flannista

Dear Will Never Be Able to Retire,

I believe PEACEsista is onto something in her own 9:26 a.m. response to your 8:46 a.m. question. Lob Christianity into a situation and you immediately change the stakes. You are instantly held up to a very high standard if you truly want to do what Jesus would do. I suspect this is why most Americans cherish their citizenship over their faith. It's easier to stand tall and salute a flag than it is to get down on your knees and worship a Savior.

All to say that there's not much in the Bible about "fairness" but plenty in the Bible about "judging". There's also plenty in the Bible about being content in whatever circumstances you find yourself. Consider the lilies of the field, sugar plum, who do not labor or spin (and yes, I know that they do NOT pay taxes), but they have more splendor than royalty. That's how Jesus considers you.

So bottom line . . . and how shall I say this? STOP YOUR BITCHIN'. It's old and tired and frankly, not very creative. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and leave the rest to God. Your best days are ahead of you. Trust your Lord.
Faithfully, Flanny

CRazy About Pizza

Dear Flanny,

I am a lover of pizza. Yes, pizza. I could eat it every week, and would if it were up to me. But my girlfriend avoids it, because of the "carbs". We eat dinner together nightly, and it's often "healthy".

The only time I'm able to eat pizza is when she's out of town. That's when I order a large pizza with 8 slices and eat 4 slices in one sitting, just because I can. The next day I do the same. I then hide the box and any other clues that might give me away.

Please help me. I think I have a problem.
CRazy About Pizza

PEACEsista

Ooops! It's crazy to love pizza? Then noway and I are TOTALLY nuts. We get a family size thin crust from Papa Murphy's and eat the whole thing in one sitting, along with a big salad. Yummo! To me, YOU are perfectly sane. However, your girlfriend who avoids pizza may be a little bit crazy!

Justista

Dear Flanny: Romney says he paid at least 13% taxes. So prove it you weanie!

Justista

Dear Flanny: I apologize for the uncharacteristic screeching but I am at OLD's house where Rush Limbaugh is on very loud from three radios all morning. My usual composure found a fissure.

treesta

Dearest Justista,

If "So prove it you weanie!" is the extent of your eruption, you have nothing to apologize for.

Love,
treesta

The comments to this entry are closed.