Dear Terry Tempest Williams,
A week ago today, I read your book When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations on Voice in one sitting, without stopping. I then spent the next hour or so copying portions of your book into my journal. I didn't want it to be over. I still don't. I want to share your book with everyone I encounter. I want to read out loud quote after quote after quote. I want everyone to listen:
Each of us has one [a voice]. Each voice is distinct and has something to say. Each voice deserves to be heard. But it requires the act of listening. [p.28]
Behind darkness is our fear. Within silence our voice dwells. What is required from both is that we be still. We listen. We see and we hear. The unexpected emerges. John Cage sees the act of listening as the act of creation. [58]
The courage to continue before the face of despair is the recognition that in those eyes of darkness we find our night vision. Women blessed with death-eyes are fearless. [119]
Creativity is another form of open space, whose very nature is to disturb, disrupt and "bring us to tenderness". [137]
But I believe my own voice continues to be found whenever I am being present and responding from my heart, moment by moment. My voice is born repeatedly in the fields of uncertainty. [151]
In Rwanda, they say a person's silence can be heard as a lion's roar. [170]
How shall I live? I want to feel both the beauty and the pain of the age we are living in. I want to survive my life without becoming numb. I want to speak and comprehend words of wounding without having those words become the landscape where I dwell. I want to possess a light touch that can elevate darkness to the realm of stars. [204]
Your book was gifted to me by my beloved friend, PEACEsista, who inscribed it this way: "A powerful and meaningful book to carry you forward in 2013." At first, I had wondered why PEACE hadn't put my name in the blank rectangle on the very first page of your book; the one that says: "THIS JOURNAL BELONGS TO" followed by an empty line. I thought about it for a couple of hours, then I figured out why: filling that empty space was my responsibility. So I did. It now says -- in my handwriting:
THIS JOURNAL BELONGS TO
Flannista, who has a voice.
Thank you, and I hope I have the opportunity to meet you some day.
With gratitude, Flannista
I think a better title for this post might have been, "I Am A Bird".
Posted by: Flannista | January 03, 2013 at 05:48 AM
Good morning, Flann. I, too, devoured 'When Women Were Birds'. I continuously thought of my mother as I read the book. In the last days of her life, she increasingly resembled a bird - we commented on it many times. A hawk stood vigil on a limb in a sycamore tree outside her room the day before she died. A flock of cardinals fed in the brush in the field, lighting up the winter landscape as only cardinals do. Mom had a voice, has it still, though she whispers from across a distant river.
Posted by: treesta | January 03, 2013 at 06:18 AM
I had forgotten about how your mother resembled a bird toward the end of her life, treesta.
You write: "Mom had a voice, has it still, though she whispers from across a distant river." How much of your voice is hers? How much effort has it taken for you to find your voice in the midst of hers?
Posted by: Flannista | January 03, 2013 at 06:36 AM
My goodness, what thought-provoking questions. My mother, in her day, was a force of nature. When I was young, my voice was a reflection of hers... or at least a reflection of what I thought she wanted mine to be. I cannot begin to describe the effort it has taken to find my own voice. I found it first in my classroom, and even still, when I have the opportunity to teach, I come alive in a way I do at no other time. I continue to find my own voice when I take the time to visit the woods or the seashore. When I 'teach' my granddaughter.
'When I Am A Bird' and the other books I read this holiday season all reminded me of my voice that is only found in silence, in listening. I need to spend more time listening.
Posted by: treesta | January 03, 2013 at 07:17 AM
As y'all know, Peace is way deeper than I and thoroughly enjoyed this book so glad Flan did as well. I am not sure I would have gotten through page 1. Listening is a good trait, depending on what one listens to. Too often I think we listen to the inner voice that holds us back from doing things instead of the voice that dares us to be bold. Besides, have you ever heard a good story from a milquetoast?
Posted by: nowayasista | January 03, 2013 at 09:15 AM
Looking forward to Williams.
I love the idea that the dead are across a distant river...how beautiful! I miss my mother so much; her birthday was December 24; she would have been 99. And my Uncle Alden just died at 95; Aunt Virginia still alive at 98. The great Viking Baptist Kingdom is almost gone...
I am so grateful for Flann, Mattista, Peace, and Treesta, and all others of the Sisters. I plan to read all day and paint a little and then make a good dinner. Love to you...
Posted by: frida | January 03, 2013 at 09:32 AM
The key for me noway has been to learn to recognize those inner voices. Some of them come from fear or anger, and others come that deep, intuitive voice that stands grounded and as you say, dares us to be bold.
Posted by: treesta | January 03, 2013 at 09:33 AM
[Have been on a long conference call. Also, my internet is sooooo slow, I'm pulling out my hair. Tomorrow, FIOS is being installed. Stay tuned.]
noway -- don't be too hard on yourself. You are deep in other ways, especially in the way you love your family. That being said, this was a life-changing book for me in many ways, not the least of which is the revelation that although my mother's voice will always seem to be a mystery to me, it doesn't mean my voice will be a mystery.
Posted by: Flannista | January 03, 2013 at 10:03 AM
The book sounds like it would be worth reading. I'm signing out to see if my local public library has a copy. Happy New Year to everyone.
Posted by: half-a-sista | January 03, 2013 at 10:41 AM
First, I'd like to thank PEACE for sending Flann the book. As much as Flann reads, and she reads good books, I rarely see her tear through a book as quickly and talk about it as much as she has. So I know it's something special.
It does sound like it would be worth reading.
(Nice to hear from you half-a! And Happy New Year to you too!)
Posted by: Matissta | January 03, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Thank you, Flannista, for sharing your letter and even more for posting about your experience with reading "When Women Were Birds." I like to think that maybe a few others will feel compelled to read this book from your efforts. By posting the quotes, you have inspired me to want to go back and read it again.
I have gifted the book to several friends and most have reported being touched and deeply moved by it. Many also say that they have gifted it to others. I like to image of this book passing from hand-to-hand ... all of us mothers and daughters to each other ... sharing this legacy of story and voice ... listening to each other and ourselves more deeply now.
You have reminded me of several friends I want to give this book to in 2013. Thank you for nurturing beauty in the world with your actions.
Posted by: PEACEsista | January 03, 2013 at 02:37 PM
Half-a, thanks for asking for the book at your public library. Ours has it and I hope that if yours doesn't, that they will be willing to order it for their collection, or to find it for you via interlibrary loan.
I also started a copy of the book to pass from hand-to-hand with the women in my church. We write our names inside the front cover before we pass it on to the next woman. The first woman I gave it to couldn't part with it until she purchased her own copy. Such is the power of this little book.
Posted by: PEACEsista | January 03, 2013 at 02:44 PM
This book is also my go-to gift for beloveds in 2013.
Posted by: Flannista | January 03, 2013 at 02:50 PM
I'm with noway on this one. I checked to see if our local library had a copy, since Flann loved it so much. They did, but it was checked out. So I checked Amazon, thinking it must be something worth buying. They let you sample an excerpt of the beginning of the book, and I couldn't even make it through that short piece. Sorry, Flann. I'm glad so many love it, but it wasn't my cup of tea.
Posted by: Pachasista | January 03, 2013 at 03:52 PM
WOW! It was worth posting about this lovely book just to prompt the first on-line comment from Pachasista (and I know what inspired your "sass" name).
After reading your comment, I went to Amazon to read the same excerpt you read. First of all, this is not a book that is meant to be read digitally AT ALL. You would understand if you had an actual copy in your hands.
Second, the author has been greatly influenced by the French writer/poet, Helene Cixous (who was born on June 5), who fundamentally does not believe in using traditional narrative form in storytelling. She finds it too masculine. Thus, there is a lot of white space, repetition, triple-line breaks, etc. in When Women Were Birds. Here is a the Wiki link to Cixous:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hélène_Cixous
Third, it is quite okay that this isn't your cup of tea. Really.
But tell you what -- how about if I send this book to you as a gift?
Posted by: Flannista | January 03, 2013 at 04:11 PM
Welcome Pach. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Although I haven't read the book, for me, simply looking through it was very visually interesting. So I have to agree with Flann that it doesn't seem to be a book meant to be read digitally.
Again, thanks for commenting.
Posted by: Matissta | January 03, 2013 at 04:47 PM
Justista called me today to get some ideas for how to unleash some creativity among her law students. I asked her if she wanted a copy of When Women Were Birds.
It's winging its way.
Posted by: Flannista | January 03, 2013 at 06:30 PM
Thank you thank you Flann
Posted by: Justista | January 03, 2013 at 08:08 PM
Flann gave me some wonderful ideas for my law students!
Posted by: Justista | January 03, 2013 at 08:10 PM