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March 13, 2013


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babysis -- if all you can find is them smaller versions of baloney called weiners, then just cut 'em up and add whatever:



Damn! Is there a gawd or what? The word in the Code Thingy for my last comment was "suitable".


Jus' in case some of you are thinkin' that you don't got the same cookin' skills as Flann, or could NEVER find a baloney recipe suitable for babysis' 50th, I dare you to google "bologna recipes" or "trailer trash recipes".

Seriously. You is gonna discover a WHOLE NEW WORLD!


Matissta doesn't think it's fair that I'm restrictin' the celebration to just baloney, so what the hell? Post your favorite recipes using Cheetos, pork rinds, gator and Twinkies or whatever food you find between the couch cushions.

You only turn 50 once, for heaven's sake.


Matiss is right. You jus' can't eat baloney cake without somethin' CRUNCHY!

So how's about a recipe for Cinnamon and Sugar Pork Rinds?


Big ol' bag of pork rinds

Left-over cinnamon and sugar donut from last year's birthday party

Hunk of butter


Take that bag of rinds and pour what's inside onto a large baking dish or hubcap, what have you.

Put that donut in your right hand, then cover it with your left hand and squeeze it as hard as you can. If it's too hard, take a hammer and smash that thang to smithereens.

Then take the butter and melt it in ANOTHER pan (if you're lucky enough to have another one; if not, set that hunk of butter out on the porch for a spell).

When the butter is runny and all, glob it all over them rinds.

Then take the donut smithereens and scatter the butter globs all over them rinds.

Put on a purty paper plate (the one the baloney cake was on because we're assumin' it done be ate up!) and pass around!



Well, Happy Birthday, babysis!! Enjoy every moment of the day!

I have no recipes to contribute at the moment. After all, how can I possibly top Cinnamon and Sugar Pork Rings?


You don't off that easy, treesta. After all, I've had dinner at your house before.

I think you can contribute somethin' with tater tots or whatever them thangs are called.


Happy Birthday, babysis!

Fried bologna
Take a slice or two of bologna. Throw it into a frying pan. Cook it up. In a pinch, it can be served in place of bacon.



Microwaved Bologna

If the version of fried bologna is too much effort. Throw a slice or two into the microwave for 30 secs. All you have to do is push the buttons.


To save yourself time, babysis. don't push three buttons for the "Microwaved Baloney". If you're supposed to cook it for a minute, just push "59". But you need to remember that means seconds and not minutes.

Sista C

Since babysis is in my top 10, not only of 'crackers', but people in general, I'll share my tomato gravy recipe:

First of all, as with all my dishes: fry bacon
Take bacon grease, add flour and brown it up
Pour in smashed tomatoes and a little water
Simmer, add pepper
Serve alongside that plate of bacon and a platter of fried squirrel.
Wear loose pants, cause if you add hot biscuits you're in for a pig- out session!


Damn, Sista C -- you had me at loose pants!

You gotta mix this up for me some time!


Happy Birthday, babysis! Only 50?! You are a babe, indeed! No bologna here at the airport, but I'll spring for a box of airline "snack" food to add to your baloney feast!


Baloney Jerky

Place slices of baloney on sheet tray.
Turn oven on 250 degrees. You want to cook it real slow for several hours.
Only jerky you'll find in a circle. Can also be used in place of a potato chip.


Well thanks yall! Them are all some mighty fine recipes I believe I could add to my expert repertoire (dang, I can't say that word any better than I can cook). This may be a new decade of cooking creations my family still won't love, but at least I will.

I got three early birthday presents yesterday and they are all chocolate. One of 'em has got a love poem in it. Never heard of that in a bar of chocolate.



I git that you love poems in a bar of chocolate, babysis. Me? I jus' love poems in a bar, period.

But heck, since you like chocolate and all, how about some deep-fried chocolate chip cookies?



What better gift could you git today, babysis, than learning that Twinkies are back on the grocery shelves? Two words: FAT FRYER!



The deep fried cookies look great. A friend just delivered a cake she made for me. It may have more ganache than anything.


What in theeeeeee hell is ganache?


Happy Birthday babysis! Baloney juggling celebration: Take 3 pieces of baloney and try to keep them all in the air whilst thinking awesome thoughts about living 50 years of your life and twirling around.




Emily: Done. With added panache. Thanks.


Looks like ganache requires panache to make.

Emily, I bet babysis does not have photographic proof of whilst-baloney-twirling. I live next door to you and want a demonstration. With added panache.

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