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June 13, 2013

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Flannista

I'm not certain how much medication has helped, but there's always that. Matissta also thought I should start up psychotherapy again, but after 30 years of that off and on, I feel all talked out.

Time to write it out.

Flannista

What was also so lovely about dc's hand-written birthday letter is that she took the time to share the current details of her life -- partner, kids, job, etc. Her letter covered both sides of an 8.5 x 11 page and began this way:

****
Dear old friend,

You're turning 60!?!#@!
*****

Flannista

The word in the Code Thingy for my last comment: United

Flannista

FYI -- potentially life-threatening severe thunderstorms are scheduled to roil through here between 10 a.m. and 5 pm so the Sassistas! may have to shut down our computers and may even lose power. As I write that I realize how TSS also makes you lose power.

Stay tuned.

treesta

Good morning, everyone. "Hyperbole and a Half" does a good job of describing depression. You may be, as dcsistah described, a crip for life, but after seeing all of your various birthday cards and well wishes, you are one well-loved crip, my friend.

Flannista

That's the truth, Ruth, er, treesta.

Many of those cards -- like dcsistah's -- will end up being one of the posts in the "60 on 60" series.

I think that most of us are "crips" in one way or another. You've all heard the saying, "We're all angels with one broken wing and that's why we need each other to fly." Hallmarky, but true. And didn't Hemingway or some testosterone-charged American author write, "We become stronger in the broken places?"

Flannista

And what are the chances that I would receive precisely 60 snail mail birthday cards?

PEACEsista

A long-time friend here, also living through TSS, recently de-friended me in life. She was gentle about it, citing that our lives were just "too different." I think I was probably the yoga lady in her life, too and that somehow she felt judged by me ... or maybe I was just a plain ol' pain in the ass.

Even though you may have wanted to smack me a time or ten, thanks for hanging in there with me, Flann. I am grateful for your friendship.

Flannista

"De-friended" PEACEsista "in life"?

Where is that LONG-TIME friend? I want to smack her a time or ten. Hearing about what she did to you really brings out the Ripley (as in "Aliens") in me. "Stay away from her, you bitch!"

[Picture me throwing hands.]

You're a lifer, PEACE. And I really found the link to Hyperbole and a Half very helpful on May 10th (so did Matissta). Just didn't have the grace to thank you then. Forgive me.

Flannista

Storms roiling in. Must shut down for now.

treesta

Well, the morning round of storms has rolled on through. I'm leaving shortly for a silent retreat for a few days. Hopefully I'll get there before the afternoon round of storms reaches us. Take care, everyone.

Flann, it's good to 'see' you back in the 'sphere lately. I know you needed your 'hiatus' to deal with TSS, but know that your voice was missed here in the 'sphere.

And PEACE, I can't believe anyone would 'defriend', in cyberspace or in real-life.

Love to all.

Flannista

Peace to you, treesta.

I was thinking last night that you going on a silent retreat is like me going on a writer's retreat. I've been thinking lately that I need to do something "out of my comfort zone" like cooking or dance classes. I'm thinking that Clown Camp would be great for you. I mean no disrespect, by the way. Just some gentle prodding.

treesta

Actually, Clown Camp would probably be great for me. I've spent a lifetime hiding behind walls of my own making. Clown Camp would take me out of myself, so to speak. Meanwhile, it's time to hit the road...

Sista C

Am I the only one who's scared of clowns?

Sista C

Word in code thingy: Sufferings

Flannista

If I remember correctly, I believe that half-a-sista is also afraid of clowns, Sista C.

So sorry that you are afraid of them. No wonder you don't watch FOX news.

Flannista

Word in CodeThingy: strengthen

Flannista

Don't mean to belittle your fear, Sista C.

Pachasista

I'm not actually afraid of clowns, but I think they're creepy. Since hubby is a firefighter, my mother-in-law gave us a statuette of that sadsack clown, Emmett Kelly, dressed as a fireman. I used to hide that sucker behind a photo on the mantle; I hated it. We had another statue of just a regular fireman, and as luck would have it, THAT was the one that got broken, not the stupid clown.

The Hyperbole and a Half piece is one of the best things I've ever read/viewed.

Flannista

That Hyperbole piece IS wonderful, isn't it?

It took me a couple of days to actually open up the link and read it after PEACEsista first sent it to me, but when I did, I must have read it at least three times before forwarding it to Matissta.

Always love to see your words here, Pachasista.

Flannista

And good Lord, Pachasista -- next to my blood sisters, you've been my friend the longest . . . 43 YEARS, right?! I've known you longer than I've been keeping a journal which I started in 1973 -- 40 years ago.

You probably know better than most how I haven't changed and/or changed.

Flannista

TORNADO WARNING!

Flannista

We survived, but a tornado touched down about 10 miles from here. Huck and the Catties are fine, too.

PEACEsista

Flann, thanks for your desire to stand-up for me and for the value of my friendship. It is really okay, in this circumstance. The relationship was "strained" at best for both of us. It actually took great courage for my friend to come forward and admit that "we're different," making it clear that maintaining the relationship was not worth the effort for her anymore (though she did not say it like that.) She's had a lingering unspecific illness for a long time and has not felt well, adding to TSS of losing her job a couple years ago, turning 60, etc. I'd imagine that there are many things requiring extra effort that are not "worth it" to her right now.

Through the years, I've had friends who fade from my life as our situations change: people move; the kids grow-up; we stop attending certain groups or meetings; our creative interests change; etc. Mostly these losses have gone unheralded, noticed usually in hindsight. My friend put distance between us, but we would still see each other once or twice a month, at group meetings, and it was somewhat awkward. She wanted to speak to it and not just leave me wondering what had happened ... or worse yet, she may have worried that I would try to "fix" it or to try to close the distance. I learned some important things from this experience. Sometimes it is right to let someone go ... to be free to carry on without you.

Pachasista

I saw the storm approaching your area on The Weather Channel. Glad you're all fine. Sadly, I don't get to spend enough time with you to really be able to assess the changes. But on the occasions I've been lucky enough to see you over the last couple years, you seem very much the same Flann as all those decades ago, only stronger.

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