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June 23, 2013


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Gwendolyn died two years ago today.

Nothing is better about her death.


The photo in this post was taken two days after my birthday in 1996 when Gwendolyn and I sailed across Lake Erie (in the boat she owned) from Buffalo to Toronto, Canada where I visited my filmmaker friend, Patricia Rozema.

The piece of paper with Gwen's name was added to the zendo altar by Contemplaysista at a Taos writing retreat following Gwen's death. Contemplaysista then sent it to me where it now sits on my home altar in front of Gwen's photo.


I've often facetiously said that I'd like two weeks notice about my death. Enough time to have a really grand party, but not too much time to suffer.

That will never happen, of course, so I'd like to die peacefully, with minimal pain surrounded by Matissta and every loved one who'd like to show up.


What do you all think of the very last image/metaphor in this poem? The scalded milk. It jarred me the first time I read the poem, but does so less and less every time I read it.


Good morning, everyone. I kind of like the metaphor of the last lines. What is more nutritious, full of life, so to speak, than milk. Yet, scalded and poured out, what is left? I also like the honesty of her line, "I want to hand back the keys."


I like this poem a lot. We just got back from a fabulous time in Denmark where the country has big taxes but takes care of its people. Feels as if it is its people...I loved seeing my nephews' little kids and I swam in the 60 degree Baltic. Then we got home; my back went out, a filling fell out. And I thought of how happy I was it did not happen in Denmark. And the trip was about death, too, because IU see the generation coming and know I won't be here when they are thirty...and I love them so much. As my mother said when I asked her about death on her 90th birthday, "I will miss my friends." I love that...she believed she would be able to miss...have some kind of consciousness. I would also like to die slowly...that is if I can know what is happening...Anyway, love to all.


Gwen would appreciate being remembered with a poem and with the super moon. Have you seen it? The ordinariness of scalded milk and the ring it leaves behind in the pan. Death is like that.

I miss Gwen. She lives on in the land she loved so much, where she is buried and also in a quiet corners of the heart in those who loved her.


The Sassistas! wanted to see the super moon, but missed it.

I miss Gwen, too.


frida -- sorry about your back and tooth. Glad you're back in the United States, though.


I really like the poem as well. It doesn't strike me as sad. It strikes me as honest and real. No melodramatics.

When Flann told me it had been two years since Gwen had passed, it almost seemed untrue. For me, it seems as though it was many years ago. So much has happened since that time, but yet I remember the details of the day clearly. Hard not too.

It says a lot about Gwen and the person she was that those who knew her so well, miss her in such a deep way. I think she'd be humbled to know she left such an impact on such a wonderful group.


You can still see the super moon tonight. Hope you get to see it. Cloudy here though.


Missed it again.


I checked both nights. It was too cloudy to see.


It was bright enough out here to clearly see the colors of wildflowers as you went by them.


Lucky you, Peter.

I was sleeping by 8:30 after a wild weekend of cleaning and reading.


Not that anyone has really noticed, but it's usually around this time that the Sassistas! spend five days in dark theaters watching documentary after documentary after documentary at SILVERDOCS.

Like everything else in this year of change, SILVERDOCS became AFIDOCS and is a shadow of its former self, thanks to the withdrawal of Discovery Channel of its funding. [Guess Discovery had to re-allocate it to the Wallenda Walk last night.] For the past 9 years, typically between 250-300 films were screened. This year only about 53 were screened, and 10 of those were shorts. Plus they were screened in venues all over Washington, DC and not just in one place. Last, I did not receive the formal schedule for the screenings until the very first day of the Festival. A mess all around.

We are attending "Best of the Fest" this afternoon; trying to see two documentaries. More on those tomorrow, perhaps.

But SILVERDOCS is no more. I was very disappointed that this, too, had changed so dramatically. I just didn't have the heart to post about it.


Hey sistas! I'm back from Bennington with my new three letters (MFA). Wow!

I need to read all the posts as my laptop wouldn't pull up the site for some reason. I'll check back in.

Love to you,


Congratulations, Honorable Justista, MFA!

Sorry about the loss of Silverdocs, Flann. Life's biggest challenge, I suppose, is in accepting the fact that nothing and no one survives it.



What happened to the yoga lady?


She's also filled with Buddhist awareness!


Hmmm....Just wrote a post that appeared for a second then vanished.
Here. Gone.

Let me see if this uploads.


Good to see a photo of Gwen and remember her fresh in this moment.

It has been a week and a half since my love's surgery. She is healing well. Bruises and incisions and tissue and nerves all healing day by day. We meet with the Surgeon, Radiation Oncologist, Medical Oncologist the first week of July. We will get the pathology results and map treatment options then....

We are at a friend's cottage, healing, walking, swimming (me), sleeping, eating, talking. About life and death. Long life. Short life. But mostly feeling how reality and a sense of 'future' shifts with a cancer diagnosis. Good things to really sit in.

May you all be well. And, congrats Justista! Very inspiring...


Wishing you and your love peace and healing, Contemplaysista. Thanks for keeping us with you on your journey.


The Sassistas! are just now back from a truncated AFIDOCS experience. We thought a lot about Justista during one of the two documentaries we saw this afternoon. We were so gratified to read her comment after that documentary was over. [More on those documentaries in tomorrow's post.]

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! An MFA!!!!! I want to be just like you when I grow up, Justista!


I echo PEACEsista's 5:04 pm comment, Contemplaysista. We are honored that the sassosphere is here for you. Please post whenever you like . . . don't feel like you are hijacking the sass in the least. No matter the post topic, please keep us beside you and your love.

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