Sassistas! Our dish on the social soup.

Snoverwhelmed

 

Dear Blizzard,

I would wave a white flag if I could, but I don't think you would see it.  So I've decided that if you knew the impact you're having on me and my beloveds and neighborhood and city and this part of the United States, you might be a bit more gentle with us.

Now, before you get all in a huff, let me tell you what I'm thankful for.  Most of us still have power.  I am now genuflecting every time I turn on a light or open my refrigerator and see the glow on the spinach leaves, er, make that leaf.  That's the last green thing in there.  Not that I'm complaining!  I still have that box of raisins that's been in there since 2002 and a couple individually-wrapped Kraft singles.  I'm not starving.  So all in all, I'm very grateful.

But here's the thing: even going outside nine times like I did yesterday to shovel, etc. is making me a little wacko.  I saw myself in the mirror this morning and noticed that my hair was sticking straight up in a way that makes me look crazy.  Normally it sticks up in a way that makes me look, well, like a poet.  But that wasn't poetry staring back at me a half hour ago.  I'm also kinda weepy . . . okay, I admit it, I'm LONELY.  Haven't been hugged in a couple of days, and, what can I say?  I'm a hugger. I've tried to find some companionship by reading the piles of books laying around my house, but I can't concentrate, as I think you're going to blow down a power line at any second.  So I'm on edge. 

But enough about me. Tell me a little about yourself.  I read this morning that it will be a:

  . . . bright day due to sunny skies and a fresh blanket of snow.  Winds from the northwest at 15 to 25 mph will lead to wind chills in the teens.  This will lead to blowing and drifting snow in open areas resulting in low visibility.

Not a bad day all in all.  Thank you.  But then I read that you may be visiting us again on President's Day: 

A vigorous disturbance (or clipper) diving south on the polar jet stream will likely pass just to our south.  This will place it in a favorable position to produce a period of snow over the metro region Monday afternoon and/or night.

Say it ain't snow.  Please.  Work with me, will you?  We're all miserable.  Please don't make me beg. I can hear you right outside my window.  You've stayed long enough.  Now I'm politely asking you to leave.

Sincerely, Flannista

P.S.  If you don't cooperate, nowayasista is SO going to throw hands.

Totally Screwed

Chryso shared the above Facebook link with me yesterday. It made me laugh, for the time being. The sassosphere is undoubtedly as weary of reading about our blizzards as all of us in the mid-Atlantic region are about enduring them.

Here's the latest about the current storm (the image above was for last weekend's storm): starting late yesterday afternoon, we got about five inches of snow. Then, overnight brought a period of sleet and freezing rain.  Now the entire region is changing back to snow and should stay that way through much of today with additional snow accumulations of 8 to 10 inches.  All this would be trouble enough on top of the nearly 3 feet of snow over the weekend.  But add increasingly strong and sustained gusty winds (between 25 and 50 mph) through tomorrow, and you have a perfect recipe for impassable streets and power failures.

Flannista still has power and will post images when she can.  Last night, Chryso posted this link to time-lapse videos of the weekend storm that you may have missed.  It is fascinating. In the meantime, why don't you offer some sassgestions to keep us laughing, because we are so SNOWVER IT.

FLANN'S FRONT YARD, 7:15 A.M.

Snowmageddon

The Sassistas! neck of the woods, 6 A.M.

STAY TUNED FOR UPDATED PHOTOS!  18 INCHES SO FAR! 

8-10 MORE EXPECTED!

FLANN'S BACKYARD 7:03 A.M.

FLANN'S FRONT YARD 8:45 A.M.

FLANN'S WRITING ROOM WINDOW FROM THE INSIDE.

BLIZZARD WINDS!

POWER IS BACK ON!

IN FOREGROUND -- FLANN'S BBQ GRILL, 3:10 PM

Opening Night

WELCOME TO THE LABOR DAY FESTIVAL, SASSOSPHERE!

Last evening, the Sassistas!, accompanied by Jerseysista and her sore foot, attended the Opening Ceremony of our town's 55th Annual Labor Day Festival!  And you know what that means!  The first evening of the Little Miss, Junior Miss and Miss Labor Day beauty, er, scholarship pageants!

Pictured above are all the contestants.  In front are the Little Misses, in back of them in black are the Junior Misses, and in the very back are the Misses in black shorts with suspenders.  (For a close up of their costumes, check out the contestant on the far right, who clearly has had enough already). Pictured right is Rich Lee, a former radio host at a local Christian music station, who has been hosting the pageant for more than 230 years!  Here we see him introducing all of the contestants, revealing details about them that we must share.

Did you know, for example, that Carmella, one of the Little Misses, has "traveled ALL over the world, including 12 states and four countries?'  Or that Junior Miss contestant, Mary Ann, wants to either be a "fashion designer or hotel critic" when she grows up?  Her fellow contestant, Camille, wants to be either "a singer, actress or doctor."  Not to be outdone, one of the Misses candidates has also set her sights very high.  Danielle, currently active in "Students Against Destructive Decisions Club," wants to be a "hand model" once she completes her education.

These young ladies work so hard to compete in the annual Miss Labor Day Scholarship Pageants, and last evening, we got a small notion why.  The rewards are great.  The current Miss Labor Day noted that the highlight of her reign had been "the opportunity to stand barefoot and plant trees outside the Youth Center for Arbor Day."  Not missing a beat, the current Junior Miss Labor Day shared that the pinnacle of her year had been "making scarecrows at KinderCamp."

Stay tuned for updates!  Have a good weekend!

Without Him

The Sassistas! woke in the middle of the night to the sad news that Ted Kennedy, one of the most powerful and influential senators in American history, had finally succumbed a few hours earlier to a malignant brain tumor.  A statement released by the family ends this way:

He loved this country and devoted his life to serving it.  He always believed that our best days were still ahead, but it's hard to imagine any of them without him.

To read the New York Times coverage of his life, click here.  For the Washington Post, click here.  A paragraph from the New York Times seemed to best capture the Sassistas! perspective on this lawmaker:

He was a Rabelaisian figure in the Senate and in life, instantly recognizable by his shock of white hair, his florid, oversize face, his booming Boston brogue, his powerful but pained stride. He was a celebrity, sometimes a self-parody, a hearty friend, an implacable foe, a man of large faith and large flaws, a melancholy character who persevered, drank deeply and sang loudly. He was a Kennedy.

Yes, he was a Kennedy, the only son to make it to old age.  Please post your own thoughts about this remarkable, troubled leader.

We the Peeple

Guess what's coming to the Nation's Capitol, sistas and mistas???!!!

PEEPS!  PEEPS!  PEEPS!

Yesterday, the Sassistas! learned the first Peeps & Co store is opening RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD FROM WHERE WE LIVE!  Needless to say, we're sassless!  But soon we won't be peepless!

It is scheduled to open in November (we're getting in line some time over the weekend) at National Harbor in a prime 3,500-square-foot location that sits, according to a news release, directly in front of Seward Johnson's 100-foot statue "The Awakening" -- an enormous giant crawling out of the earth.  Now we know what the giant is crawling out for!  Wouldn't you do the same?

We know your next question . . . why a store?  An ENTIRE store for PEEPS?  Work with us, peeple!  Work with us!  The store will sell a full complement of Peeps paraphernalia:  T-shirts with Peeps dressed up as the Village People, plush Peeps in the traditional chick and bunny shapes, Peeps pillows, pens and key chains, and even Peeps china -- some of it is made by Lenox!  The Sassistas! got tears in their eyes when we read that and plan to immediately register our names at the Peeps & Co store to make gift-giving much easier for the sistas and mistas!

On a more serisass note, this historical occasion got us pondering about the profound influence of Peeps on human culture since the beginning of time.  Isn't it possible that famous landmarks that we assumed were artifacts, etc. from other cultures were AT ONE TIME PEEPS?  Click here and look closely.  Centuries ago, those were PEEPS!

We're certain that other archeological and cultural landmarks from the beginning of time were once PEEPS.  Please share what you find in your own sassearch!

Gut Punch

The Sassistas! don't think this is what the Republicans meant when they chanted "Drill, Baby, Drill!" at last summer's Republican National Convention.

Whaz goin' on with these guys?  Don't they know that the Republican Party is desperately seeking a few good -- and faithful -- leaders?

Last week, Sen John Ensign (R-Nev.) revealed that he had an extramarital affair with a campaign staffer who was a longtime friend of his wife and married to another Ensign aide.  The senator came forward to admit the affair only after his ex-mistress's husband approached a TV network to expose the scandal.

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford -- who yesterday admitted to an extramarital affair with a "dear, dear friend" in Argentina -- disappeared for days on end without disclosing his whereabouts, leaving his entire state leaderless and his family wondering where Daddy was on Father's Day.  When his wife revealed that she didn't know where Sanford was, his spokesman said he was off by himself hiking the Appalachian Trail.  Further, that Sanford often made last-minute trips alone to places like "Greece and Turkey." 

You think we were born and raised in gym socks?

It's hard to know where to direct the sass feed for this.  The Sassistas! are tempted to let all sass break loose and trample the Republican Party, particularly in light of the pious way some members preach family values (Ensign was a member of the fundamentalist Christian group for men, Promise Keepers).  Infidelity, however, is as rampant among Democrats -- need we mention Eliot Spitzer or Bill Clinton?

"It began very innocently," stammered Sanford yesterday at his news conference.  Why does it begin at all?  This week, Flannista's parents marked their 58th wedding anniversary.  Flann is certain that they've had their ups and downs, but somehow they've managed to remain faithful to one another.

If you were a consultant hired by the Republican Party to "right the sinking ship," what would you advise?

We're flummoxed.

Got Digital?

Were you ready for the DTV switch? 

Beginning yesterday morning, television stations powered down the analog signals that have sent TV shows into homes for six decades.  Some stations indicated that some viewers had been caught off-guard. WAFB, the CBS affiliate in Baton Rouge, switched at 7 a.m. Central time, and an hour later the station reported on Twitter that its call center was “going crazy.” “Believe it or not, a lot of people saying they didn’t know anything about the switch," the station said, according to the New York Times.

What about you?  Were you caught off-guard?  The Sassistas! didn't mess around, that's for sure!  To stay ahead of the technology curve, we decided to rely on transmission signals (click here) that will last FOREVER!

Flu or Fear Virus?

FLU FEARS SPUR GLOBAL TRIAGE!

NATION BRACES FOR WORST AS NEW STRAIN EMERGES!

HOG WILD!

These are just a few of the alarming newspaper headlines we've seen over the past couple of days regarding the outbreak of what the White House is now terming the "H1N1 Flu" as no pigs have yet been infected.  Interestingly, click on the tab for more information about the outbreak at the White House website and you are taken to a Center for Disease Control and Prevention web page which (as of this writing) is still referring to the outbreak as "Swine Influenza."

So far the virus (again, as of this writing), has spread to 11 U.S. states from coast to coast and swept deeper into Europe.  Total American cases have surged to nearly 100 with one death -- a Mexican toddler who had traveled with his family to Texas.  The World Health Organization (WHO) said yesterday that "the swine flu outbreak shows no evidence of slowing down and is moving closer to becoming a pandemic."

So what's the REAL outbreak?  The flu or coverage of the flu that has led to a full-blown outbreak of fear?  According to Dr. Marc Siegel, author of False Alarm: The Truth About the Epidemic of Fear (pictured above on the toilet), "We hear about an unseen killer and we worry that we will be next.  The best antidote for this kind of fear is the facts."  Siegel cautions that even if the current outbreak is upgraded to a pandemic, it will likely be of the 1968 variety which killed only 32,000 in the U.S. and 700,000 worldwide, less than many yearly outbreaks.  It will not be the 1918 variety that killed over 50 million people worldwide.  He also notes that this is the end of the flu season, not the beginning.  "Flu viruses thrive in the low humidity of winter, not summer.  It is very likely that this outbreak will die out automatically as the summer comes" (The Fox Forum, Fox News.com).

What's your opinion?  Is this flu something to be feared?  Or has the sheer volume of media attention suggested a full-blown crisis?  Any sista or mista think we need a tremendous outbreak of calm?

More Than a Piece of Meat

Some sass hot off the grill, sistas and mistas! 

Yesterday, msnbc.com revealed "The 19 worst drive-thru foods in America"; fast food that was easy on the wallet, but no bargain in terms of your health.

Curious, we clicked on the findings for "Worst Cheeseburger" and discovered, "Hardee's Monster Western Bacon Thickburger."  Get this -- each one of these has:

• 1,420 calories
• 108 g fat (43 g saturated fat)
• 2,770 mg sodium
• 230 mg cholesterol

Just one has the caloric equivalent of almost six McDonald's hamburgers, the saturated fat of 43 strips of Oscar Mayer bacon, and the sodium equivalent of 84 saltine crackers.

More curious, we went to the Hardee's website to learn more about its Monster Western Bacon Thickburger.  Click here to see what we discovered (allow a few seconds for this to download).  Apparently, according to celebrity chef Padma Lakshmi, this burger is not only food you can eat, but also food you can date -- to "feed your inner cowboy."

The Sassistas!^TM are wondering how we can make this burger even "more than just a piece of meat."  We welcome your sassgestions.  Our first sassgestion is to dip the entire thing in cheese dough, deep fry it and serve it on a stick at every state fair this summer.

Can you top that?