The 54th Grammy Awards were celebrated last evening and the Sassistas! -- desperate for a Madonna-inspired Super Bowl spectacle -- stupidly watched the red-carpet arrivals. Last year, if you recall, Lady Gaga arrived in a large egg from which she emerged later on stage (see top photo). Kinda hard to "beat" that, we thought . . .
. . . until Nicki Minaj arrived on the Grammy red carpet last evening with . . . . her father?
CAPTION, PLEASE.
CAPTION, PLEASE.
"If you can apply the word 'comfortable'
to anything in your life other than
your favorite pair of shoes,
you need to re-examine it."
DISCUSS
As an official Maker's Mark Ambassador, Flannista receives a special holiday gift from the bourbon manufacturer every holiday season. Yesterday, Flann received (rather late, don't you think?) her holiday gift for 2011: my very own Maker's Mark bottle sweater. Look at the above image and the one below. What's the difference? And what should Flann do about it?
Flannista here, with more holiday gift sassgestions from her favorite place to shop for gifts -- the coupon inserts in the Sunday paper. Today, let's talk comfort, as in Casual Joe Cargo Comforters!
According to Joe's insert ad (pictured above), there are "6 ways Cargo Comforters are better than ordinary 'sweats'"(interesting, the website only cites 5):
POCKETS: You get 6 of 'em — 4 secured with MagicCling™! FLEECE: Much Higher Quality — Hefty, Warm, Durable, and Soft as a kitten, too! S-T-R-E-T-C-H: BIG 360° Elastic Waistband with an adjustable Drawstring! ZIP FLY: No more droppin' drawers just to do numero uno! PRICE: Search the malls, outlets, even the web — skimpier "Sweats" cost at least Double our Low Price! EASY CARE: Cotton and polyester is easiest machine wash and wear.
Sistas and mistas -- did you really take in the comfort?:
And they come in four BRIGHT colors: Royal, Charcoal, Black and Navy -- only $15.99 when you buy two!
But wait . . . there's more . . . Quick-Zip Fleece Shirts in colors that "contrast to pants": Wine, Teal, Blue and Granite -- only $13.99 each!
Flann is SO EXCITED because Cargo Comforters with contrasting shirt appear to perfectly complement her New Balance 801's!
A couple pair of Cargo Comforters with contrasting Quick-Zip Fleece Shirts and my migration to Miami Beach will be complete! No more droppin' drawers! Say it's so, Joe!
The holidays are just around the corner, sistas and mistas! Time for some holiday gift sassgestions!
Last weekend in her Sunday newspaper coupon insert, Flannista saw something that took her breath away!: the "He walks with me" pendant exclusively from The Concorde Collection. Inspired by the "comforting words of a favorite hymn," this sterling silver and 14K gold-plated sandal pendant features a diamond cross and tiny footprints "that remind us of his eternal presence and guidance." Note that the back of the sandal is "beautifully engraved with the phrase, 'He walks with me.'" A complimentary 18-inch chain is included.
All yours, folks, for just 45 bucks.
But . . . the sandal only measures 1 inch by 1/2 inch which can't POSSIBLY be the size of God's foot, so Flann's confused. Who precisely do you walk with when you wear this thing? Also, Flann is familiar with the phrase, "your arms are too short to box with God," but not "Your feet are way bigger to walk with God".
So what's the point of this pendant? And as long as Flann is asking questions: Are your arms too short to box with God? What would you do if your arms were just too short? How long do your arms need to be to box with God?
And . . . would God wear my New Balance 801s? (You know you want to SEE THEM AGAIN!!!)
Please share your answers with the Sassistas! Walk with us! Talk with us!
Two weekends ago, Flannista spent a couple of hours on Amazon looking for a new pair of comfortable shoes. Above is what she ended up buying. Matissta took one look at them and said: "You should only wear those at a Miami Beach retirement home. Please never wear them outside."
What say you? Miami Beach or bust? Why?
On Saturday, good neighbor Sassley celebrated her 40th birthday with a party for which guests were asked to come dressed as someone (or something) from the 1980s. The Sassistas! first thought of going as a couple of the Iranian hostages, but thought that would be a bummer. Then Matissta had the brilliant idea of going as Devo, the art punk American band whose single, "Whip It" reached #14 on the Billboard chart in 1980. She emailed me the photo below, but we were worried . . . how would we EVER make these costumes, especially those hats?!
HOME DEPOT TO THE RESCUE!
Flannista showed the photo to a couple Home Depot employees and in 30 minutes we had everything we needed: two pair of KLEENGUARD White All-Purpose Coveralls, two plastic planters, one roll of self-adhesive door insulation tape, one roll of red duct tape and one can of Apple Red spray paint. Then we whipped it all together.
If you had attended this party, what would you have gone as from the 1980s? Or what's the craziest way you ever put together a costume?
On Memorial Day, the Sassistas! treated ourselves to the movie, "Bridesmaids" -- a laugh-out-loud film that uses matrimony as its organizing principle. We loved it for a couple of reasons. One, raunchy, macho stand-up comics no longer have the corner on Hollywood comedies (i.e., the egregious "Hangover" tripe); and two, Hollywood finally realizes that women want to see more than sweet, bland romantic comedies (i.e., "The Proposal"). "Bridesmaids" proves that women can have it all -- smart repartee AND bathroom humor. Hollywood still has a long way to go, however, because only once or twice in the movie did the women converse about something OTHER than a man.
Still "Bridesmaids" was a lot of fun and while leaving the theater, Flannista confessed to Matissta her regret that she had never been asked to be a bridesmaid. Matissta was stunned as she has been asked at least five times and one weekend was a bridesmaid at two different weddings.
Seriously.
After hearing these stories, Flann is kinda glad she was never asked to be a bridesmaid. What about you? Ever been part of a bridal party? The stuff of comedy or the stuff of tragedy?
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