Sassistas! Our dish on the social soup.

Sassy Sally

 

The Sassistas! would like to acknowledge and thank Justista for dishing today's sass.

The Public Interest Law Students held a charity auction in March. They auctioned off luncheons with professors, designer purses and two-night stays at a spa. The first item up for auction was a picture of a neon sign that reads, "Sassy." I saw it and bid way too much money for it because the sassosphere had to have it. Flannista has it now (pictured above, leaning against Flann's piano).

Sassy Sally's is one of the original downtown casinos, a little worse for wear but very proud. Sassy Sally herself is a neon girl who sits above the "Girls of Glitter Gulch" across from "Vegas Vic."  (See photos left.)  Sassy Sally unfortunately was renamed Vegas Vicky when downtown was remodeled. I still think of her as Sassy Sally, though. Even though she is ancient and some of her bulbs are burnt out she kicks her leg up there with attitude.

That's my girl.

EDITOR'S NOTE:  The Sassistas! love this objet d'art and thank Justista not only for buying it to raise money for charity, but also for sending it to SassistaLand East. Now all we need to do is open our own casino/bar.  

Speaking of which, what are some your favorite bars and why?

Royal Bash

As you know, the Sassistas! were invited to tour the White House last Saturday afternoon. What you don't know is that we went immediately from that event to another top-secret event in London.  Yes, we were two of the 20 invited guests to Prince William's bachelor party (or, as the Brits call it, his "stag do"). 

All the guests were sworn to secrecy about what occurred at this royal bash, but we can tell you that it involved a pub that could only be accessed by boat, lots of booze, a red-and-white checkered tablecloth . . . and tassels we lifted from a couple White House curtains.

We were also surprised to learn that the term bachelor -- previously meaning a young knight or a student with a bachelor's degree -- first appeared in reference to an unmarried man in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in the 14th century.  The term bachelor party didn't appear until 1922, however, when it was first used in the Scottish publication, Chamber's Journal of Literature, Science and Arts to describe a "jolly old" party. The event is known by different names in different countries: the stag party in the U.K., Ireland and Canada; the buck's party in Australia; and, with typical panache, the enterrement de vie de garçon in France (translation: "the burial of the life as a boy").

The Sassistas! also learned that in the past a bachelor party actually involved a black-tie dinner hosted by the groom's father.  WHAT HAPPENED?  

Have you ever been to a bachelor party?   How about a bachelorette party?

 

Exuberance

The Sassistas! would like to acknowledge and thank Jerseysista for dishing today's sass.

This past Monday evening, as I sat in my new home, a passing car sent out a staccato of horn blasts as it went by. It was the Sassistas! And it was only their first turn around the block before coming back and doing it again. I could just picture them, like sixteen-year-olds, arms waving beer bottles out open windows, music blaring, muffler scraping up sparks from the pavement as they careened around the corner hootin' and hollerin'. I fully expected a police siren to follow on their heels.

Even though my imagination got ahead of reality, I have to say their horn-blowing escapade, tame as it was, seemed outrageous for women their age -- especially when they combined it with a phone call preening about their carousing. Why is that? We spoke earlier this week about exuberance tempered with caution and we wondered if we give caution too much of the upper hand. I have to say, if I have gotten to the point of thinking a drive-by horn-blowing is outrageous, I have certainly been living a life where exuberance has been much too restrained by caution.

What about you?

 

Squinkies

It's that time of year again, sistas and mistas!  Yes, it's time for our annual post about this year's HOTTEST holiday toy!  Remember our post about last year's hottest toy -- Zhu Zhu Pets?  This year, the hottest toy is SQUINKIES!  Let's pause for 30 seconds as you view the above video.

Like Zhu Zhu Pets, Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch Dolls or Larry King's wives, Squinkies are collectible -- the hundreds of characters include a Lhasa apso dog and a tiny bride -- but they are much cheaper, selling for $10 for a 16-pack.  And kids can't seem to resist scooping up these things as they come in plastic bubbles, as a vending machine would dispense.  

And to think Squinkies started at 16-person company called Blip Toys in Minnetonka, Minnesota?  Sixteen people and now millions of these things which are sold out or on back order at many stores.  In development are sets for boys based on characters like Spider-Man and new dolls based on Barbie and Hello Kitty.

But surely Squinkies can be re-purposed for adults!  Please share your ideas and the Sassistas! will get them to Blip ASAP!

 

Magic Sass Ball

 

Wondering if you have enough money to retire?  Can't decide whether to buy a new car or to invite guests for Thanksgiving dinner?  Will Obama still be President of the United States in 2013?

Today, the Sassistas! are prepared to answer all of your yes-or-no questions, thanks to our exclusass Magic Sass Ball, our version of the Magic 8-Ball.  So ask us anything.  Anything at all.

The Sassistas! have all the answers!

Slaw and Odor

To celebrate the birthday of babysis tomorrow, half-a-sista contributed a very special post in her honor.  Thank you, half-a, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, babysis!

WARNING:  Make sure your cabbage patch kids are out of the room.

I came across a new sport that appeals to the vegetarian in me: coleslaw wrestling.  The championships have been held in Samsula, Florida every year since 1988.*  For those of you unfamiliar with the location of this town of approximately 4,900 people, it's in Volusia County at the intersection of Watermelon (between Parsley and Lettuce) and North Samsula Drive . . . just south of Spruce Creek, Florida.

The first competition on Wednesday, March 3, attracted between 15,000 and 50,000 bikers, depending on which reports you read.  All we know for sure is that a lot of people like coleslaw wrestling.  It's so popular that additional matches were planned for the weekend.

On that cold Wednesday, several days before the Oscars (probably a smart business decision to give everyone a chance to see both shows), the competition began with a pre-show photo session with an adult erotic film star, who according to reports, bared her breast for her fans.  Maybe she did so in case a costume failure didn't occur during the wrestling matches (but many did).

After the explanation of the rules, the wrestlers began the long slaw crawl to the top.  Local contestant, Heather Spears, took the championship for the fourth year in a row.  View one of her matches here.*  Congratulations, Heather.

The crowd, mostly  men, mostly bikers, stopped at the former cabbage farm -- now Spotonick's Cabbage Patch Bar -- on their way to a bikers' weekend in Daytona Beach.  The wrestling matches break up a long trip.

To have your own coleslaw wrestling matches, take 2,000 pounds of cabbage shredded by a wood chipper, add 20-40 gallons of cooking oil, stir, throw the mixture on a blue tarp (the wrestling mat) and find people willing to participate.  NOTE:  My grandmother put sugar in her coleslaw and some milk, but apparently they don't make coleslaw that way in Samsula, Florida.

First prize was $500 and second prize was $350.  The wrestlers who came in third and fourth received a buck and quarter each.  So there's money in the sport.

The announcer did tell the crowd that should they stop for dinner somewhere, and the server asks if they want coleslaw with their order, they ought to pass.

Any great coleslaw recipes out there?  Has anyone seen the coleslaw wrestling competition?  Would anyone admit it if they had?  What unusual sports have you participated in that are suitable for Sassistas!?

* Please be advised that some of the images in the links provided are intended for adults only and may be a bit unsavory to many living, breathing human beings.

Monster Jam!

Drum roll, please!  For the first time in the history of the sassosphere, the Sassistas! are tickled to death to acknowledge and thank babysis for dishing today's sass!

Fueling our anticipation on the way to Monster Jam, the local rock station cues up Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold,” a fitting mood setter for the crowd we will spend the next several hours with. We fork out $15 to park very near the Citrus Bowl, nestling our mini-van among RVs, Hummers, and pick-up trucks blasting train horns every 10 minutes or so.

Our first stop is the long line to ride in Blue Thunder, a monster truck replica of the original, with two bench seats lining the truck bed. There are seat belts and a roll cage, but if you’re over 36 inches tall, you can handle the figure eights and lots of noise.

Our next stop is the Pit Party, featuring all 14 trucks in tonight’s show. You shouldn’t touch, but you can get very close and take all the photos you want. This year we obtained seven driver autographs, adding to the value of our $10 Souvenir Yearbook.

Vendors offer food, drink, and merchandise, but we’ve come prepared. We eat our packed supper in the van, toss the football, listen to music, read, nap, or people watch. On this occasion, my observation shows more drunk rednecks prefer to make love, not war.

Around 7 pm, we walk to the stadium, where the sold-out crowd of over 60K is growing restless.  The National Anthem is sung by the winner of a radio competition, and the introductions begin.  All 14 trucks enter the stadium, engines roaring, and eventually position themselves around a giant oval, electrifying the crowd.  The noise is indescribable, but I called Flann and Matiss to give them the phone version.

The show lasts about three hours, and features racing and freestyle portions, with entertaining filler events of extreme moto-cross jumping and soccer mom minivan demo-cross (see photo left; note that the back of the green van on the far right says, "BABY ON BOARD"). One biker crash landed and had to be loaded into an ambulance, but he gave the universal thumbs-up symbol.  The minivan race had no rules to speak of, and the woman who won exclaimed, "That was the best feeling of my life!"

The final event is 90 seconds of a solo freestyle rampage by each monster truck.  The crowd favorite won convincingly, and is a true icon in the sport after 28 years of competition.  Dennis Anderson, the driver of Grave Digger, thanked the crowd for their faithful support over the years, and reminded us that a night with monster trucks gets your mind off the economy and your troubles.  We had to agree, and felt $104 for four tickets was time and money well spent.

What do you consider a good time for a great price?

To view a Youtube video of the 2009 "Air Force Afterburner Champion" click here.

For Play

Yesterday the Sassistas! saw quite a surprising television commercial.  It was for a product called "Intense" of the K-Y Brand . . . so you know what kind of intense we're talkin' about. Read the fine print in the image on the right so we don't have to spell it out for you.

Intrigued, we visited the K-Y Intense website and were welcomed to the "Satisfaction Lab" because "Science Can Be Such a Turn On."  Click here immediately to access the lube, er, lab.

Once you're there, we encourage you to click on the "Enter the Lab" tab.  Then why don't you enter the "Reaction Room" and begin your own search to discover what "Intense" feels like?  The Sassistas! spent most of the afternoon there, actually.  For an extra thrill, navigate to the very last door to your right . . .yeah, that's what we're talkin' about.

So, whaddya think?  Would you buy this product?  Why or why not?

Bowl Games

The Sassistas! know several of you watched a couple of New Year's Day Bowl Games yesterday.  Heck, a couple of you even attended Bowl Games this year. 

Tell us which ones you watched and why.

Vegas On Water

She is one big mother.

Pictured above is Oasis of the Seas, a passenger ship that arrived in a new terminal in Port Everglades last week while Flannista was in Florida.  Flann could see it from her Orlando hotel room a hundred miles away.  Just kidding, but Oasis of the Seas is longer, taller, wider, heavier and more expensive than any other passenger ship ever built.  It's five times the size of the Titanic and more than half again as large as the mammoth Queen Mary.  A piece of it had to be retracted just so it could squeeze under a bridge and make it out to the Atlantic.  On its 18 decks, a crew of 2,165 will tend to as many as 6,296 paying customers, nearly 45 percent more than the largest cruise ships now operating.  Oasis of the Seas also boasts:

• 15 decks with four main swimming pools, a park promenade, surf simulators, rock climbing and miniature golf.
• A 1,300-seat theater (larger than some on Broadway) and an ice rink.
• The Boardwalk designed to be a cutting-edge Coney Island with a hand-crafted carousel in the middle.
• A zip line where guests can ride down while suspended nine decks above The Boardwalk.
• Central Park (pictured right) which has 12,175 plants, 62 vine plants, 56 trees and bamboo plants, some 24 feet high.
• Several casinos, of course.
• The Rising Tide, the first moving bar at sea that descends three decks from Central Park to the Royal Promenade (where guests enter the ship).
• The first cupcake shop at sea.

The Sassistas! could go on an on, of course.  We've never been on a cruise and don't know if this one is worth it.  Rates start a $729 per person double occupancy for a seven-night cruise.  For high-rollers, the two-level, four-person Royal Loft suite starts at $19,276 (total price for four guests) and maxes out at $34,376.  We assume this includes cupcakes.

Any of you ever go on a cruise?  What did you like about it?  What didn't you like about it?  Would you book a cruise on Oasis of the Seas?  Why or why not?