Sassistas! Our dish on the social soup.

The New Boss

It was the best ESTROFEST ever, thanks to a great game, a great half-time show, great company, great chili, great commentary sassistas -- Chryso and babysis -- and most of all, a great hostess in Jerseysista! 

Kudsass all around!

Pictured above is "The New Boss" who "Won't Get Fooled Again" -- Drew Brees, the Super Bowl MVP who helped to pull his New Orleans Saints out of a 10-point, first-quarter deficit to defeat Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts, 31-17.  You da man.

"The Old Boss" -- alive and still kicking is The Who, who performed one of the best half-time shows that Flannista has ever seen at the Super Bowl.  Carrie Underwood, if guys in their sixties can hit all the right notes, why can't you?

Morning on-line commentary is giving the nod for Best Commercial to the 15-second spot for David Letterman, which was, very clever and very funny.  Those of us at ESTROFEST loved the "Snickers Satisfies" commercial with Betty White. You da woman.

We were all stunned at the blatant misogyny on display in commercials from Dodge Charger and some line of Dove toiletries for men.  Toilet is precisely where these ads belong.

Following are our commentary winners:

• MOCK HEROIC: The entire pre-game show.

• PATRIOTIC: The entire pre-game show.

• BLATANTLY SEXUAL: "If it's gonna be one on one, they try to go deep."

• ACCIDENTALLY SEXUAL:  "Reggie Bush"

• OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST:  Those chickens -- were they representing Denny's?

• WWJS:  "We've got an injured Saint."

• JUST PLAIN STUPID:  Tie between the Bud Light commercials and Dove for Men

• THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS:  The "Man's Last Stand" Dodge Charger commercial

• A POET AMONG US:  "And so, the snapper got to him."

• YOU BETCHA!  (What would Sarah Palin Say?):  Focus on the Family commercial (though tackling a woman worked better with Betty White)

• I DREAMED A DREAM (What Would Susan Boyle Sing?):  The Who Halftime Show

Please share your thoughts and memories of Super Bowl 44!  And thanks again for joining the fun!

Looking Back

About the first decade of the 21st century, this TIME magazine cover says it all.  So does this excerpt from an accompanying essay by Andy Serwer:

Bookended by 9/11 at the start and a financial wipeout at the end, the first 10 years of this century will very likely go down as the most dispiriting and disillusioning decade Americans have lived through in the post-World War II era . . . . Call it the Decade from Hell, or the Reckoning, or the Decade of Broken Dreams, or the Lost Decade.  Call it whatever you want -- just give thanks that it is nearly over.

Thank you, Jesus.

Among the worst things of the decade cited by TIME are the contested presidential election of 2000, declaring war on Iraq, the Sumatra tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, the market meltdown and Guantanamo. 

The most defining moment of the decade, however, was the 9/11 terror attacks on New York City and Washington, D.C. which redefined global politics and made most Americans question the security they had previously taken for granted.  If for no other reason, the Sassistas! are thankful to say good riddance to all that, though global terror has hardly diminished.

Aside from these jaw-dropping and life-ending moments of the decade, consider the following: ten years ago, there was no Google, no Facebook, no Twitter.  A Blackberry was a two-way pager.  The iPhone?  Not to be found.  Huffington Post?  Nope.  There were, however, newspapers and magazines and . . . what are those things called, again? You know, those things with covers and pages with words printed on them?  Oh, yeah . . . books. 

Took only a decade, but we don't seem to read anymore.  We just scan.  We aren't in touch with reality anymore, only "reality" as it is shoved down our throats by television.  We don't think.  We just swallow.  Ten years ago, we didn't have the fantasy of celebrity culture 24/7, 24/7, 24/7, 24/7 as we do today.  It is a culture designed not simply to entertain, but also to keep us from fighting back.  Style and story, not content and fact, inform mass politics, mass media, mass everything.  Let's not CLARIFY an issue.  Let's PERSONALIZE it.  Let's MORALIZE it.

In one decade, thanks largely to pervasive technology and 24/7 celebrity news, we have come to prefer personality over character. Ten years ago, we honored hard work, integrity and courage.  Today's consumption-oriented culture honors charm, fascination, and likeability.  It thrives on happy thoughts, manipulated emotions and trust in the beneficence of power.  We either sing along or are voted off the island like losers.

Let's stop singing that happy tune.  Life's a bitch and then you live.  We've got work to do.

So turn off your computers.  Turn off your cellphones.  Turn off your TV. 

Get up.

The Sassistas! want all of you to get up out of your chairs. We want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell:  "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"   Things have got to change.  But first, you've gotta get mad! . . . You've got to say, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore! Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

Now onto the next decade.

Best of 2009

Following are the Sassistas! choices for the Best of Whatever in 2009.  Like last year, at the time of this post, we have not seen all of the movies considered to be major Oscar contenders for 2010, but will post our choices for Oscar winners closer to the actual awards ceremony.  Please post your own choices for Best (or Worst) of Whatever in 2009!

BEST MOVIES (NOTE:  all lists are in alphabetical order)

(500) Days of Summer

Adventureland

Anvil: The Story of Anvil

Avatar

The Cove

District 9

Let the Right One In

Star Trek

Up

MOST OVER-RATED MOVIES

Drag Me to Hell

The Road

A Serious Man

BEST MOVIE RENTALS

City Lights

Nobody Knows

Woodstock (documentary)

BEST TV

30 Rock

Better Off Ted

Dexter

Glee

In Treatment

Nurse Jackie

Rachel Maddow

Rescue Me

The Tudors

WORST TV

Balloon Boy

Michael Jackson

Reality TV, period.

Tiger Woods

BEST FICTION BOOK

A Gate at the Stairs -- Lorrie Moore

BEST NON-FICTION BOOK

Lit -- Mary Karr

BEST HYPED BOOK

Going Rogue -- Sarah Palin

BEST ROCK ALBUMS

21 Guns -- Green Day

The Hazards of Love -- The Decemberists

BEST CLASSICAL ALBUM

Requiem -- Conspirare

BEST THEATER

Next to Normal (musical)

BEST POETRY COLLECTIONS

All-American Poem -- Matthew Dickman

The End of the West -- Michael Dickman

Inseminating the Elephant -- Lucia Perillo

Stupid Hope -- Jason Shinder

A Village Life -- Louise Gluck

Wheeling Motel -- Franz Wright

BEST ART EXHIBIT

Anne Truitt -- Perception and Reflection (Hirshhorn Museum)

BEST DISCOVERY

Professional bull riding (it rocks!)

WORST DISCOVERY

Jerseysista has eight whisks and seven cooking thermometers

TOMORROW -- BEST AND WORST OF THE DECADE!

Last Letter Home

Last week, barista sent Flannista the above video. I have watched it now at least a half dozen times and tear up every time.  You will, too.  Here is how barista describes the choral music featured in the video:

Often wars are far off abstractions and the longer they go on, the more distant they can become.  Choral music can help bring the conflicts closer . . . in a good way.

Prepare to have your heart broken as you listen to Cantus' recording of "Last Letter Home" -- a composition by Lee Hoiby based on a letter from PFC Jesse Givens of Springfield, Missouri, to his wife, Melissa.  Givens was killed May 1, 2003 when his tank fell into the Euphrates River after the bank on which he was parked gave way.  The letter was written to be delivered to his family if he died.  To his wife he writes: "I did not want to have to write this letter.  There is so much more I need to say, so much more I need to share.  A lifetime's worth.  I married you for a million lifetimes.  That's how long I will be with you.  Please find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you alone . . . "

To his stepson, Dakota: "You have a big, beautiful heart.  I will always be there in our park when you dream so we can still play . . ."

To Carson, the son born May 29, 2003: "I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are beautiful."

Thank you, barista, for sharing this beautiful musical memorial with me and now with the sassosphere.  Hallowing -- through art and music -- the life of beloved who has died, can heal not only family members, but also the human family.

What's your response to this video?  In what ways have you hallowed the lives of beloveds you have lost?

Anvil

The dictionary defines "anvil" as "a heavy steel or iron block with a flat top, concave sides, and typically, a pointed end, on which metal can be hammered and shaped."  Anvil is also the name of Canadian heavy metal band that is today considered the "Rocky Balboa of Metal" because life has hammered and shaped this band in ways its members never thought possible . . . and because they chose to go the distance.

The Sassistas! learned about Anvil a couple of nights ago when we watched "Anvil: The Story of Anvil," a documentary that appeared to start out as a hilarious "This is Spinal Tap" (except it was real), and ended up being the story of what happens when a washed-up, 30-year-old band doesn't stop believing in itself. Click here to visit the movie's official website. Treat yourself to the trailer on the home page.  

Also on the home page is a link to Anthony Lane's April 2009 New Yorker review of the documentary which he called, "the most stirring release of the year."  Why? Lane writes:

This film is not about rock music at all, still less about school lunches in Ontario, or unusual uses for vibrators; it is about time, and how it threatens to fade us out like a song on the radio, and why, risking ridicule, and leaning on love, we should crank up the volume and keep going.

It's true.  The Sassistas! ended up rooting for these guys despite one tour disaster after another: "Things went drastically wrong," observes lead singer and guitarist Steve "Lips" Kudlow, "but at least there was a tour for them to go wrong on."  When asked why their albums never sold Kudlow replied, "I can answer that in one, no two, no three words:  "We did not have good management."  

We loved this movie, and we loved these guys.  They are now in their fifties and more successful than ever. About the movie, Kudlow said: 

It stands as a prime example of what an industry -- particularly the music industry -- can put an artist through.  At the same time, I take responsibility for our actions in the past. We were just sustaining who we are.  Now someone's come along and brought it to a new level.  Now we're getting praise for never selling out and sticking to our guns.  It's a vindicating thing.  We got our notoriety on our own terms. We've done what we want. Not what someone told us to do.

Rock on, "Lips".  What about you?  Are you doing what you want?  Not what someone told you to do?  If not, what would you like to be doing?  How can the story of Anvil hammer and shape your own life?

Bird Brain

Don't read ANY further until you watch the above video.

While driving home from work Tuesday evening, Matissta heard an NPR story called Birds on Wires (click on the story title to listen) that nearly made her stop the car.  She wanted to stop not only as a way to pay homage to a fascinating story, but also because she felt the need to pause and look.  To look and see what music, what poetry was right beyond her car windshield.

What does this bird song inspire in you?  Look out a window . . . think like a bird.  What do you hear?  What do you see? What do you feel?

Opening Night

WELCOME TO THE LABOR DAY FESTIVAL, SASSOSPHERE!

Last evening, the Sassistas!, accompanied by Jerseysista and her sore foot, attended the Opening Ceremony of our town's 55th Annual Labor Day Festival!  And you know what that means!  The first evening of the Little Miss, Junior Miss and Miss Labor Day beauty, er, scholarship pageants!

Pictured above are all the contestants.  In front are the Little Misses, in back of them in black are the Junior Misses, and in the very back are the Misses in black shorts with suspenders.  (For a close up of their costumes, check out the contestant on the far right, who clearly has had enough already). Pictured right is Rich Lee, a former radio host at a local Christian music station, who has been hosting the pageant for more than 230 years!  Here we see him introducing all of the contestants, revealing details about them that we must share.

Did you know, for example, that Carmella, one of the Little Misses, has "traveled ALL over the world, including 12 states and four countries?'  Or that Junior Miss contestant, Mary Ann, wants to either be a "fashion designer or hotel critic" when she grows up?  Her fellow contestant, Camille, wants to be either "a singer, actress or doctor."  Not to be outdone, one of the Misses candidates has also set her sights very high.  Danielle, currently active in "Students Against Destructive Decisions Club," wants to be a "hand model" once she completes her education.

These young ladies work so hard to compete in the annual Miss Labor Day Scholarship Pageants, and last evening, we got a small notion why.  The rewards are great.  The current Miss Labor Day noted that the highlight of her reign had been "the opportunity to stand barefoot and plant trees outside the Youth Center for Arbor Day."  Not missing a beat, the current Junior Miss Labor Day shared that the pinnacle of her year had been "making scarecrows at KinderCamp."

Stay tuned for updates!  Have a good weekend!

First Auditions

Susan Boyle, meet your competition.

Over the weekend, Matissta heard about two jaw-dropping first auditions on the British version of "American Idol" or "America's Got Talent" -- a show mysteriously called "X-Factor."  Simon Cowell is one of the judges, so that's got to mean something.  Anyhoo, on the first night, Danyl Johnson (pictured above) wowed everyone on that side of the planet by singing, "With a Little Help from My Friends" for his first audition.  Click here to see that performance.

Everyone assumed that Danyl was a shoo-in to win the whole shebang until the second night of the show when Jamie Archer and his hair (pictured below) sang "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon.  Click here to see his performance that pretty much set everyone on fire.

So, sassosphere -- which first audition is the better one and why?  The Sassistas! plan to forward this post to Simon Crowell, so please be specific in your comments. 

Were We Stardust?

We are stardust, we are golden, 
We are billion year old carbon, 
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden

-- from "Woodstock" by Joni Mitchell

Forty years ago this weekend, hundreds of thousands of people gathered in a lovely, natural amphitheater in Bethel (not Woodstock), New York.  All week the media has been releasing reminiscences from folks who attended and recall either loving it or hating it.  

• To hear about the love, click here for a video about the couple in the iconic photograph (above) that was taken on Sunday morning of the festival -- the third and final day. 

• To read about the hate, click here. This Newsweek article details Mark Hosenball's (17 years old at the time), Woodstock experience which was "if not a nightmare, then a massive, teeming, squalid mess.  If you like colossal traffic jams, torrential rain, reeking portable johns, barely edible food, and sprawling, disorganized crowds, then you would have found Woodstock a treat."

The Sassistas! had to know for ourselves.  Between the two of us, we only knew two people who actually attended -- Flannista's friend, Kathy, who sadly died of cancer on December 5, 2000 -- and Matissta's friend, Chris, who told Matiss he was the only one there "who wasn't high."  Matissta's oldest brother wanted to go, but Momista issued a stern "no."  Determined to know, we rented the 4+ hours documentary (director's cut) and watched the entire thing last weekend. Flannista also ordered the new 6-CD box set, "Woodstock: 40 Years On," and listened to 95 cuts and 7.8 hours of music over the past two days.

What can we say? We weren't there, but man, the movie and the music are FAR OUT!!! A couple of things really impressed us:  First, daily tickets were just $8.  Eight bucks, people.  Second, none of the performers acted like prima donnas or divas.  As one stage hand said, "It was pretty nitty-gritty.  You saw musicians getting soaked by the rain.  It brought everyone down to a common reality.  The egos all melted away."

Hey, cats -- that would never happen today.  Man, it was, like, so outta sight!  Imagine us doing air guitar to Jimi Hendrix's "Star Spangled Banner" or groovin' to Santana's "Soul Sacrifice" in Matissta's living room. Can you dig it?  The New York State Thruway is closed, man!  Man, we wish we coulda been there. 

What about you?

Hey Paul

Hey Paul, don't make it bad. 

Take a sad commute and make it better.

This past Saturday evening, it took the Sassistas! one hour and 15 minutes to get to a church get-together that normally would have taken 20 minutes.  The Beltway around the Nation's Capitol was jammed in both directions.  We ended up going through town, hoping that when we left the gig a few hours later, traffic would be better.

It wasn't.  We figured there must have been a huge accident involving a tractor trailer carrying hazardous waste, two dozen passenger cars, a school bus filled with children returning from summer camp and a Winnebago carrying vacationing nuns from Our Sisters of Bon Secours.

It wasn't.  It was fans flocking to Paul McCartney's sold-out concert at FedEx Field, the stadium home of the Washington Redskins football team.

We didn't find out until Sunday morning, when Matissta heard it on the local news.  When asked in church by a young woman who also attended Saturday night's get-together if traffic had been any better on the way home, Flannista shared that it had not been; further, it was all because of Paul McCartney's concert.

Puzzled, the young woman said, "Who listens to Paul McCartney anymore?"

Well, Miss Smarty Pants -- we do.  Here's another thing, Miss Know-it-All (and that link really is worth clicking on): Paul put on a terrific show.  Click here to read the review from the Washington Post.

Yeah, Paul's still got it.  We hope that we're rockin' with his enthusiasm when we're 67 years old. 

Let's teach this young woman a thing or two.  What's your favorite McCartney and or McCartney/Lennon song and why?

In the mean time, next time Paul's in town:

Baby you can drive my car

And maybe I'll love you.

Beep beep'm beep beep yeah