Sassistas! Our dish on the social soup.

2012 Best in Show

 

A Pekingese named Malachy won Best in Show

at the 136th annual Westminster Kennel Club.

The 4-year-old puff ball won his 115th overall best in show title.

Really?  The Pekingese?

DISCUSS.

 

2012 Estrofest!

 IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF THE YEAR!

THE 2012 ESTROFEST!

THIS YEAR SPONSORED BY MAKES-HER-MARK!

As in previous years, following are the "Best Of" Super Bowl/Estrofest commentary categories -- anything anyone says over the airwaves beginning about 5 pm EST -- that fits brilliantly into these categories:

• MOCK HEROIC

• PATRIOTIC

• BLATANTLY SEXUAL

• ACCIDENTALLY SEXUAL

• OBAMA WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET RE-ELECTED (This category replaces last year's OBAMA IS A MODERATE which replaced the previous year's category, OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST which replaced the previous year's category, YES, WE CAN!)

• WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY?

• JUST PLAIN STUPID

• THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS

• A POET AMONG US (best metaphor and/or alliterative riff)

And this year's SURPRISE commentary categories:

• OPEN MARRIAGE (or WHAT WOULD CALLISTA SAY?)

• CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE (or WHAT WOULD MITT SAY?)

And don't for forget to submit your vote for BEST COMMERCIAL!

The sassosphere will be open throughout the pre-game, game and post-game festivities for you to post your entries.  Please be certain to specify the commentary category when you post your entry. 

ALSO, SEND IN YOUR DRINK ORDERS, PLEASE! 

And the most important thing -- GO GIANTS!

 

The Bark Side

 

Volkswagon does it again with

its Super Bowl game teaser!

2012 AFC/NFC Championships

Matissta picks The Patriots over the Ravens

and

The Giants over the 49ers

[Keep in mind that she went four for four last week.]

2012 NFL Playoffs

The Sassistas! picks:

Saints over 49ers

Patriots over Broncos

Ravens over Texans

Packers over Giants

(Matissta is going to kill Flann about the last pick.)

 

 

Top Dog

Look at that face . . . look at that face . . . ain't it sweet?  

That's Hickory, the 5-year-old Scottish deerhound who won "Best in Show" at the 135th Westminster Kennel Dog Show on Tuesday evening.  For a link to more photos of Hickory, click here. Whenever Flannista looks at that face, she sees Burt Lancaster. 

The Sassistas! are parTICularly thrilled with this year's Westminster Kennel Dog Show because for the first time in its history, the Bluetick Coonhound competed as a recognized breed (see TV image on right to see Huckleberry's new heart throb).  Also, Hickory -- the winner -- was the best in the hound group! 

To see an amazing slide show of Fred Conrad's photographs of 102 champion dogs, each the Best in Breed, at the 2011 Westminster Dog Show click here. The Sassistas! love how the personality of each dog managed to come through even though each one was photographed in the same space. At the moment, Flann is quite smitten with Lola, the beagle (sweet Jesus, look at that face).  Which of these dogs steals your heart and why?

Star-Spangled Dud

It is time for a new national anthem.  In fact, it's been time for a very long time. Thank you Christina Aguilera for glaringly reminding us why at Sunday's Super Bowl.

This past July, barista forwarded to the Sassistas! an editorial from the San Francisco Chronicle entitled, "Time for a New National Anthem?"  Writer Joseph Byrd begins his argument this way:

Controversy has surrounded our national anthem a long time. Like the weather, said Mark Twain, everybody complains about it but nobody does anything about it. A national anthem should express dignity, pride and a sense of national purpose. Above all, it should be easy to sing. "The Star- Spangled Banner" is none of these. It's a dinosaur -- archaically phrased, difficult to sing and a reminder of the only war in which an enemy successfully invaded our nation and burned the capitol. Worse, the tune itself isn't even American -- it's English. 

How did we end up with this national anthem?  According to Byrd, "The Star-Spangled Banner" was made the official national anthem in 1931 by an act of Congress.  The words are Frances Scott Key's poem, "The Defence of Fort McHenry" and the tune is "To Anacreon in Heav'n," theme of an 18th century London gentlemen's club.  "It actually makes a very good drinking song," writes Byrd, "with its dramatic caesura followed by the tipsy high tenor note on the last phrase."  Further:

The middle part, which strains the vocal range of ordinary mortals, was intended to be amusing. Where we sing "And the rockets' red glare," the original song had the Athenian poet Anacreon calling down from heaven in an effete falsetto, "Voice, fiddle, and flute, no longer be mute, I'll lend ye my name, and inspire ye, t'boot!"

To read Byrd's entire article, click here.  Byrd doesn't believe "The Star-Spangled Banner" expresses who we are.  Like him, the Sassistas! wonder if that song doesn't, what song does?

What do you think of our national anthem?  If you don't like it, what song would you prefer as our national anthem?

By the way, in less than a month, the National Park Service will open a brand-new visitor center at Fort McHenry to mark the bicentennial of the writing of "The Star-Spangled Banner" in 1814.  If visitors look real hard, they'll be able to see a star-spangled buoy down the Patapsco River that marks the place where Key was interned on a British ship and watched the rockets bursting in air.  The buoy is located under a bridge that carries an interstate highway over the river.  Locals call that bridge "The Car-Strangled Spanner."

Interesting word, "strangled" . . . because that's what our national anthem does to anyone who attempts to sing it.

 

 

Say Cheese

Or in Christina Aguilera's case, say, "I'm sorry."

The Sassistas! have to agree with babysis who confessed in her 11:46 comment last evening that the better team did win in the Super Bowl: the Green Bay Packers, who defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25. The game was indeed interesting until the end, but all in all, the Sassistas! found the whole spectacle rather "mean" -- the only word constantly yelled at the television by the sistas who attended the Seventh Annual Boniva Activia Estrofest. 

Following are the winners in our commentary categories:

• MOCK HEROIC: The entire evening.

• PATRIOTIC: The entire pre-game show, particularly the patronizing and insulting reading of the Declaration of Independence.

• BLATANTLY SEXUAL: "They opened up this possession with three tight ends"; "They opened up the middle for Heinz Ward" and the Cram it in the Boot commercial

• ACCIDENTALLY SEXUAL: "Rogers had Farmer back in his lap"; "Here comes Big Ben" and "Big Dipper Pizza"

• OBAMA IS A MODERATE (This category replaces last year's OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST which replaces the previous year's category, YES, WE CAN!): Actually, Obama is an idiot for consenting to an interview with Bill O'Reilly.

• WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY?: "Don't be left behind." -- the tagline of an AT &T commercial

• JUST PLAIN STUPID: The "Chuck & Shaq" pre-game bit and most of the car commercials.

• THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS: The Groupon ad featuring Timothy Hutton supposedly about helping the children of Tibet.

• A POET AMONG US (best metaphor and/or alliterative riff): "Loss of six on the sack"

And this year's SURPRISE commentary categories:

• TEAR DOWN THIS WALL! (or WHAT WOULD RONALD REAGAN SAY?): Actually, we think Reagan would have been embarrassed most of the night.

• PLEASE PASS THE TISSUES (or WOULD THIS MAKE JOHN BOEHNER CRY?): The Steelers losing, for sure.

BEST COMMERCIAL:  Audi, "Escape to Luxury" featuring Kenny G, and . . .

BY FAR THE ABSOLUTE WORST COMMERCIAL EVER: Doritos, "Finger-lickin' good.

Here's what one part of Jerseysista's kitchen sink looked like at the end of the evening:

 

Estrofest 2011

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, SASSOSPHERE!  The Seventh Annual Estrofest -- the Super Bowl for Women -- sponsored by Boniva and Activia! (They aren't actually sponsors, we just added that to be sassy.)

As in previous years, following are the "Best Of" Super Bowl/Estrofest commentary categories -- anything anyone says over the airwaves beginning about 5 pm EST -- that fits brilliantly into these categories:

• MOCK HEROIC

• PATRIOTIC

• BLATANTLY SEXUAL

• ACCIDENTALLY SEXUAL

• OBAMA IS A MODERATE (This category replaces last year's OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST which replaces the previous year's category, YES, WE CAN!)

• WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY?

• JUST PLAIN STUPID

• THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS

• A POET AMONG US (best metaphor and/or alliterative riff)

And this year's SURPRISE commentary categories:

• TEAR DOWN THIS WALL! (or WHAT WOULD RONALD REAGAN SAY?)

• PLEASE PASS THE TISSUES (or WOULD THIS MAKE JOHN BOEHNER CRY?)

And don't for forget to submit your vote for BEST COMMERCIAL!

The sassosphere will be open throughout the pre-game, game and post-game festivities for you to send in your entries.  Please be certain to specify the commentary category when you make your entry. 

ALSO, SEND IN YOUR DRINK ORDERS, PLEASE! 

And the most important thing -- GO STEELERS!

Scrapple

To prepare for Sunday's Boniva Activia Estrofest 2011, the Sassistas! have been pondering what to bring to Jerseysista's house that will top her home-made chilis . . . yes, she makes three different kinds and presents them in serving dishes that actually match. 

We didn't have to ponder long because two weeks ago this morning, Flannista was served the above food-like substance (it is an actual photo) for breakfast at the home of a client's great aunt.  Flann vaguely recalls eating Scrapple when she was a kid -- and liking it.  But what the heck is this stuff? 

Three minutes of research reveals that it is a regional American food of the Mid-Atlantic states and is traditionally a mush of pork scraps and trimmings with cornmeal and flour, often buckwheat flour, and spices. This mush is then formed into a semi-solid congealed loaf and slices are then panfried before serving.

The Sassistas! plan to form our Scrapple into two small footballs; one representing the Green Bay Packers and the other representing the Pittsburgh Steelers, then rolling each ScrapBall around in Hot & Spicy Cheez-its crumbs and topping it with a pork rind.  The pork rind may be an overstatement, but we knew we had to go all out simply to enter Jersey's kitchen.

What about the rest of you?  What would you do to or with or beside Scrapple to compete with Jerseysista's formidable cooking and hosting skills? 

Today, let's Scrapple Jersey.