Sassistas! Our dish on the social soup.

Macaroni Trees

Nothing says Christmas dinner better than Macaroni and Trees, don't ya think?

Picture left is just one of several hilarious spoofs of products offered by the the retail store, Anthropologie. One time at a mall, Flannista walked into one of these stores by mistake and had no idea what it sold.

Yesterday, the Sassistas! came across the blog, Anthroparodie which featured a post called, "Macaroni and Trees" with the following descriptive copy:

Nothing says Christmas dinner like a rich, creamy macaroni tree frosted to delicious perfection in a blend of three artisanal cheeses.  

$98 Actual color may vary

Flannista spent some time on the blog and discovered something perfect for her "dark moods. For just $4,800, Flann can purchase a "Fog Machandelier":

Our new incognito fog machine is disguised as an antique wrought iron chandelier but produces over 9 semi-clouds of vintage, noiresque haze per minute to shroud your favorite room in mystery.

Your prohibition-themed soirees and wine-tasting masquerades will never be the same.

Love it! And love the creativity in this blog. Why not spend a few minutes perusing it? Be prepared to spit out your morning coffee all over your keyboard.  Click here to pay a visit.

So Yesterday

A couple of hours ago, the Sassistas! received the following comment from Westsista on yesterday's post called, "Making Friends":

It is completely surreal to read your electronic comments, posted under a pseudonym, criticizing another electronic medium where comments are posted using real names.

Blogging is so yesterday, haven't you heard? I don't care what people think about that, either. Facebook is exactly like every other communication medium - TV, movies, Skype, blogs, email, phone, texting, letters, books and yes, even face-to-face interaction. It is possible to skim over reality in every one of these venues.

I enjoy Facebook every day. It offers a snapshot into the lives of lots of different people that I care about. I have made friends with people I've met in bars, in bookstores, on Sassistas!, at work, on Facebook, in church, in Taos and once even from a wrong number. I don't worship Facebook any more than I worship my phone, but I appreciate it for what it brings into my life.

And yeah, I was offended too, for what it's worth.

It's worth alot and deserves further reflection.

 

 

Technical Difficulties

 

Flannista's computer tech is flummoxed by Flann's computer.  It's all unplugged, sitting in Flann's office broken and forlorn.  Stay tuned. (We hope.)

Stay Tuned

The Sassistas! respective professional lives are in a state of flux and uncertainty.

We apologize for not being able to concentrate on much else.

Our Third Anniversary!

Today marks the THIRD ANNIVERSARY of the sassosphere!  Three years ago today, the Sassistas! published our first post.  This is our 1,015th post.  We've had approximately 360,100 page views and a whopping 37,850 comments -- an average of about 37 comments per post.

They say that good things come in threes, like me, myself, I or yesterday, today, tomorrow or blah, blah, blah.  What "threes" come to your mind?  Please post them today and tomorrow as a way to celebrate our anniversary.  And please know from the bottom of our hearts that there would be no sassosphere without you, you, you!

This Here Rodeo

Two years ago today, the Sassistas! opened the gates to this here rodeo.  That's right, pardners!  Today is the Second Anniversary of the Sassosphere!

Since saddlin' up on March 5, 2008, the Sassistas! have published 677 posts and received 20,250+ comments . . . an average of nearly 30 comments per post.  YA-HOOOO!  And on Wednesday, we surpassed 220,400 lifetime views.  On our first anniversary, we had just surpassed 90,000 lifetime views. So our numbers are building.

But you know what?  We don't care about numbers.  We care about you.  We care about Westsista, who each month, posted knock-you-off-your-saddle "Meet the Sass" (12, count 'em, TWELVE posts) that challenged all of us.  Or half-a-sista, who posted about "Christian Jihad" (May 27, 2009) or about his travels to such exotic places like Precious Moments (Oct. 2), plus other provocative posts.  We care about Jerseysista, who posted about "Paella Mandela" on April 2 (the beginning of several posts in 2009).  We care about Carolyn, who posted about donating a kidney on June 3.  And we care about babysis, when we published her first post, "Monster Jam!" on February 25 of this year.

And that doesn't even begin to cover the comments.  The Sassistas! may open the gates, but the real heart of the sassosphere can be found after the gates open . . . in the corral of comments -- the most intelligent and hilarious comment feed to be found in all of the blogosphere.

So what have you learned about life and about yourself this year in -- and out -- of the sassosphere?  To make your thoughtfulness worthwhile, the Sassistas! will donate $10 for every comment today (up to $500) to IDignity -- an organization in Central Florida that provides ID cards -- birth certificates and Social Security Cards to the homeless that are crucial to helping them become self-sufficient.  Flannista had the honor of working with some of the rank-and-file of TRM's company who donate their time to this very worthwhile cause.  She plans to make the donation in their name.  So please tell us what you have learned over the past year.

What to say except we are very humbled and grateful, sistas and mistas, to be be entering our third year in the sassosphere.  We couldn't do it without you!  Thank you, and always remember this:  don't squat with your spurs on, though like Sassistas!, it can be surprisingly stimulating!

Love to all.

(P.S.  This is a special sass-out to the mista in Grand Rapids, Michigan, a very gifted artist that I've know now for more than 25 years, who faithfully reads Sassistas! every day and keeps threatening to join the sass feed.  Belly up, pardner!  You're welcome anytime.)

Looking Back

About the first decade of the 21st century, this TIME magazine cover says it all.  So does this excerpt from an accompanying essay by Andy Serwer:

Bookended by 9/11 at the start and a financial wipeout at the end, the first 10 years of this century will very likely go down as the most dispiriting and disillusioning decade Americans have lived through in the post-World War II era . . . . Call it the Decade from Hell, or the Reckoning, or the Decade of Broken Dreams, or the Lost Decade.  Call it whatever you want -- just give thanks that it is nearly over.

Thank you, Jesus.

Among the worst things of the decade cited by TIME are the contested presidential election of 2000, declaring war on Iraq, the Sumatra tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, the market meltdown and Guantanamo. 

The most defining moment of the decade, however, was the 9/11 terror attacks on New York City and Washington, D.C. which redefined global politics and made most Americans question the security they had previously taken for granted.  If for no other reason, the Sassistas! are thankful to say good riddance to all that, though global terror has hardly diminished.

Aside from these jaw-dropping and life-ending moments of the decade, consider the following: ten years ago, there was no Google, no Facebook, no Twitter.  A Blackberry was a two-way pager.  The iPhone?  Not to be found.  Huffington Post?  Nope.  There were, however, newspapers and magazines and . . . what are those things called, again? You know, those things with covers and pages with words printed on them?  Oh, yeah . . . books. 

Took only a decade, but we don't seem to read anymore.  We just scan.  We aren't in touch with reality anymore, only "reality" as it is shoved down our throats by television.  We don't think.  We just swallow.  Ten years ago, we didn't have the fantasy of celebrity culture 24/7, 24/7, 24/7, 24/7 as we do today.  It is a culture designed not simply to entertain, but also to keep us from fighting back.  Style and story, not content and fact, inform mass politics, mass media, mass everything.  Let's not CLARIFY an issue.  Let's PERSONALIZE it.  Let's MORALIZE it.

In one decade, thanks largely to pervasive technology and 24/7 celebrity news, we have come to prefer personality over character. Ten years ago, we honored hard work, integrity and courage.  Today's consumption-oriented culture honors charm, fascination, and likeability.  It thrives on happy thoughts, manipulated emotions and trust in the beneficence of power.  We either sing along or are voted off the island like losers.

Let's stop singing that happy tune.  Life's a bitch and then you live.  We've got work to do.

So turn off your computers.  Turn off your cellphones.  Turn off your TV. 

Get up.

The Sassistas! want all of you to get up out of your chairs. We want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell:  "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"   Things have got to change.  But first, you've gotta get mad! . . . You've got to say, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore! Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

Now onto the next decade.

Whined and Not Dined

Sistas and mistas -- pictured here is the face of suffering America.  Take a good hard look.  These women are suffering.  Worse, so are their nails.

About two weeks ago, the New York Times published an article called, "It's The Economy, Girlfriend," detailing the woes of Wall Street women whose relationships with their boyfriends fell apart when the economy fell apart. The Sassistas!^TM are hesitant about posting too many details of the ensuing tragedies, as we don't want to burden the sassosphere with so much sadness.  But this is a national crisis, and we must do our part.  According to the article:

Once it was seen as a blessing in certain circles to have a wealthy, powerful partner who would leave you alone with the credit card while he was busy brokering deals. Now, many Wall Street wives, girlfriends and, increasingly, exes, are living the curse of cutbacks in nanny hours and reservations at Masa or Megu. And that credit card? Canceled.

Raoul Felder, the Manhattan divorce lawyer, said that cases involving financiers always stack up as the economy starts to slip, because layoffs and shrinking bonuses place stress on relationships — and, he said, because “there aren’t funds or time for mistresses any more.”

Dare we do on?  We must.  To cope, these women began to meet regularly and did something all aspiring, enterprising women do: they started a blog: dabagirls.com, "Dating a Banker Anonymous," where "free from the scrutiny of feminists" [but not Sassistas!^TM], women can "share their tearful tales of how the mortgage breakdown has affected their relationships."  Women are invited to post "if your monthly Bergdorf's allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared in your life."

Last night, the Sassistas!^TM spent some time with the Dabs.  Check out this entry for January 29 entitled, "DABA Girl Daily Warning Level: Yellow": 

With home prices falling 14% in the fourth quarter, summer rents are sure to be coming down.  Good day to bring up share houses in the Hamptons with your FBF, unless of course you’re dating a Hamptons home owner.

The Dabs consistently refer to their boyfriends as FBF's or "Financial Boy Friends."  Guess what else?  These suffering women have already landed "a sweet book deal" (just five months after starting their blog).  Also, they do have standards: 

Please be aware there is no swearing on DABA Girls. Kindly incorporate asterisks to express your rage.  Additionally, under no circumstances will unpleasant monikers for a girl’s Britney be posted.

The Sassistas!^TM know that a lot of what the Dabs write about is tongue-in-purse, but we read enough of their blog to have our own opinion which we will express thusly:

ARE YOU F**CKIN' NUTS?  GET A F**CKIN' LIFE!

We have standards, too.

Please post what you'd like to share with the Daba Daba Doo Doos!

Sassistas! Rev Up!

Pictured here is a car engine which ought to be tuned up every 30,000 miles, according to most car maintenance guidebooks.

Labor Day weekend, The Sassistas! achieved 30,000 visits to our sassosphere since our first post on March 5.  This past week alone, we've had nearly 1,300 views.  The sass seems to be kicking into a higher gear, and we owe it all to the engine that keeps us running -- the sistas and mistas who regularly park their sass here. 

In August, The Sassistas! put our sass on the pedal and arrived at some new ideas, topics, and all-around sass to post.  What's more, in about a month, we're planning a formal launch of our site which will include a mass mailing, e-blasts, and placing business cards with our URL next to the Hot & Spicy Cheez-its on grocery store shelves nationwide.  We welcome any other sassastic ideas you might have for getting the word out about us. 

Most important, thank you from the bottom of our sass for your wisdom, patience, loyalty and compassion.  The best gift we ever gave ourselves was this community.  In gratitude, we're revved up and moving forward, blessed to have your companionsass along the way.  Stay tuned, er, tuned up!

Well Armed and Well Done

Yesterday, the Sassistas!^TM achieved another milestone since our first post on March 5. On May 16th we marked our 10,000-view milestone. Less than two months later, we've reached 20,000 views which explains the image (on the left) from "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" to illustrate this post.

We also chose this "20,000 League" image to complement the other image in this post which is an actual appetizer that Flannista ordered at Café Atlantico in the Nation's Capitol a couple of months ago. Can you guess what it is? Try this: grilled baby octopus with warm strawberries and arugula. Guess what else? It tasted like chicken. Really, it did.

As good as the appetizer looked and tasted, however, it was missing a certain Sassistas!^TM ingredient. We sent it back to the chef with our sassgestion for making the appetizer even more award-winning. Click here to see the results!

What can we say sistas and mistas but thank you and much love for keeping us well armed and well done with your loyalty and willingness to dish your own brand of sass along with us. Each of you is in a league all your own.